Anti-depressants & training

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  • id echo that too - dont try and deal with it all alone

    and as someone once said to me - and i wish id listened - are you sure you should be at work ?

    if id taken time out when i was beginning not to cope - rather than struggle on - because i was too afraid to admit that i needed time out and the consequences of going off sick with 'stress' - then i wouldnt have got as deep into the mire as i did i think - i ended up leaving a well paid job for a not so well paid job and then had 18months plus of time out /unemployment/money worries etc - so be proactive and take control of it before it takes control of you
  • some of this is due to having been out of work - the sense of rejection and feeling unwanted. In the last 3 years, I've taken voluntary redundancy once (before they tried to force me out) and been made redundant. The second felt harder, as I didn't see it coming and had been working very hard to help deliver the "most important project in the company" (ok I've have niave moments as well).

  • that sounds very familiar 'i cant go off sick now as the project is in crisis and i cant let it down now' - project survived with new staff -i didnt
  • Hey Staggers,

    I've been surfing the net. I think you should speak to someone. It's always hard trying to find out where to start. i have found a group that offer information, help and advice for people suffering from depression. They are called Depression Alliance. There details are as follows:-

    Address:- 35 Westminster Bridge Road
    London SE1 7JB

    Tel:- 020 7633 0557

    Site:- depressionalliance.org

    They look good. I've only found them because I want to help and am concerned. As V-Rap said the forum is good but we are not actually there. Please take a look.
  • I'm not indispensible Buney, I know that, and I don't have a problem with being sick. Its more that I lost a job I really enjoyed and felt comfortable in, I don't want to go through that again as I've only been in this one 12 months. The job itself doesn't provide me with hugh quantities of stress, and whilst I do go in early (which is by choice), I'm home by 7 every night to see the kids and wife.

    I know I need to balance the being with people and being on my own times. Sometimes I need people round me rather than being at home on my own. I've done long-ish term spells off sick with a slipped disc, and taht can be pretty soul destroying. I need to agree with my boss that I can escape on days I need to like today and I don't think that will be a problem - hey he likes me, I solved a lot of his problems!
  • In early...
    Home by 7...
    Small children...
    Not huge quantities of stress...

    My abacus is having serious difficulties reconciling that lot.
  • Mine too
  • ...ignore me then Staggers...
  • depression Alliance are very good for information leaflets and campaigns etc - but dont provide 1-1 support - although they do run a list of self help support groups

    i think 'someone to talk to' can vary from a sympathetic non judgemental mate, a good GP, someone whose been there, a mental health professional, a counsellor, cbt therapist or psychotherapist depending on the kind of person you are, your circumstances and need at the time and not everything works the same way for everyone

    being physically active does help as does medication

    depression, anxiety and stress are complex and difficult conditions and very personal
  • my calculator is having the same problem....

    Honestly S.O.one of the things about depression is that you don't see the big wooden mallet coming. You know things are bad, but you are dealing with it...better days...bad days..... nothing to be complaining about etc etc...and until the day you wake up and realise your coping mechanism has finally failed you think it'll sort itself out eventually. Please please get help NOW before that happens. I guarantee you will eventually come out stronger the other side.

    I've had a pretty bad spell myself and had to sit back and watch last year as my brother wouldn't face the problem and thought just talking to me would help. It didn't and he ended up being told "you go into hospital by choice or we put you there".... we are both ,by the way, pretty normal again and now see the symptoms coming and deal with it early...

    It's treatable, and most importantly it is not the rest of your life...!!!

    <<<<<<Love Gill>>>>>>
  • ET, I'm not ignoring you, I've been to their website and they have a group in Woking, which is where I catch the train.

    I've also had Yellow Pages (frightingly old fashioned for a technically switched on person like myself) and found a couple more websites (the e.g. www.samaritans.org) and a lot of local listeners!

    one mate lined up to talk to, but need to wait for him to get home from work so we can natter on the phone. Wife has booked a "baby sitter" for tomorrow night so we can talk.
  • btw, folks please don't get the feeling I do ignore anybody's ideas and support, cos I don't. I really appreciate the advice and opinions.

    Stress: that's comuting to Stevenage from guildford each day (by car round m25), with two young children, one of which is under 1 and not sleeping regularly. Add in a project that is seriously pearshaped, the senior tech consultant goes into hospital and leaves you responsible for convincing external auditors that the team (of 20) can do the job because theclient is not happy!
  • i found knowing that Sams had an email service really helpful when i was my very lowest ebb - a safety net if things got really bad
  • just got this quote in my inbox

    it doesnt sum up the feeling of being depressed but it does come when the depression has passed



    I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness
    for it shows me the stars.


    Og Mandino
  • ok
    just spent 40 mins writing points that come to mind under the headings: Family; Work; Finances; Self/life; Last few years stress highlights. Got to 5 pages of A4 without trying.

    Okay there is some spacing out, but its a bit of a dump out. Need to talk to wife about it.

    Flood of tears earlier "why can't just a normal waste of space bloke? Its not fair i can't just yell at you to shape yourself!"

    could be a hard conversation, but I know what she means.

    Also know where local Samaritans are located (and thier hours) plus got their website and going to ook at Sane as well

  • ((((((((Staggers))))))))
    ((((((((Mrs Staggers))))))))

    Depression is a real bummer.

    I don't want you to start feeling guilty about this, but living with someone who has depression isn't entirely a bed of roses either. Illness doesn't make any of us any easier to be around, and the self-absorption that comes as part of depression can be hard work for those who love you to live with.

    There's very little formal support for family - I hope Mrs Staggers has good friends who will listen to her and, sometimes, distract her.

    This time I really am speaking from personal experience.
  • Please get some proper, professional help Staggers. Soon. xx
  • Poor you
    Poor her


    if it's any help at all am much much closer to Thin Spouse post 2 bouts depression - but at the time is unspeakable I know


  • ..actually, she probably needs professional help too. Until you've experienced depression you truly do not understand. You might think you do, but..... Luckily my husband was a supportive godsend but he could just as easily have been like his mum with her "why can't you pull yourself together" line. Trying to explain why you are curled up in a ball watching the bath overflow for example is not an easy task... she needs someone completely uninvolved to explain camly and unemotionally what is going on....

    Thinking of you..

    Gill
  • SP luck, if that's the word, is that she's been there as well, and she was there during my first time. I think its shock and denial phase - you can't be depressed, you've no reason to be..... The next few days will really tell, the last couple of hours have started to see softening of attitude, and a gentle-ing (if there's such a word) of feelings.
  • I've only just picked up on this thread so haven't read the previous 100 messages.

    If it's any comfort, I am going through a bout of depression but managed to get to the GP before it got too bad (although I had thought about suicide).

    I am on my 3rd type of antidepressants and am now on some that seem to suit me. I am seeing a psychiatrist once every few months too. Mr CC is very supportive and does have to put up with a lot from me (PMS as well as the depression).

    All I can do is send you lots of hugs and prayers. My depression is mainly due to not coping with my youngest son who has ADHD and stress of returning to work after being a SAHM for 7 years (even though I was only doing 15 hours, which then had to be reduced to 9...). My eldest son has Aspergers Syndrome/Dyspraxia too so life isn't a bed of roses for me at any time.

    If only I could say no more often and stop wondering what I have done to deserve having children with such challenging behaviour...

    I wish someone would wave a magic wand sometimes.

    Sorry this isn't much help. I hope things get better for you and your family soon.

    CC
  • Something that really strikes me is the sheer number of people who come on here and freely admit to having anything from mild to very very serious depression....and a good 50% of my personal friends have had problems. It makes me wonder what life is all about these days....something is very wrong....and somehow we need to change our collective perspective... I don't know how....

    ....on the up side however it is such a relief to discover so many other sufferers. I thought for too long that there must be something wrong with ME.....that I was weak, or imature or more often, a really horrible person.I didn't dare admit I was ill....I had all sorts of excuses. I had very weird physical symptoms which scared the hell out of me till I found out they ranged from normal to pretty unusual but certainly not unheard of.... Suddenly they took on a new perspective and became gradually managable.

    Depression and stress needs to be out there in the public eye.... not just as a recognised but slightly shameful illness but in full technicolour with all its causes and symptoms and effects.....and a clear message that it is no-ones fault and that you can't 'snap out of it'. We need to educate people much much more and also put out a very clear message that it is treatable and that you can become a much stronger person after it....

    This affects too too many people to be ignored the way it still is.





  • Well said Snails pace. I "came out" at the school where I work and was amazed by how many others suffered . I also wrote an article for our local NCT magazine about the "postnatal" depression I had aftr my youngest were born.

    One of my difficulties is that am "capable, caring,confident" , I have no obvious reasons for depression and yet I get it.
    I think I said somewhere else yesterday that this time I will deal with it and use it as a launch pad for the future. Prozac and counselling

    I will not be beaten by this thing again
  • CC thanks, my life is nowhere near as complicated or difficult as your's sounds. It sounds like you have the support in place and if the new a/d's are working that's good news.

    SP, good observations. This thread itself has shown how many people are affected by these sort of problems.

    BB, you wont be beaten again because you've been there before and understand what you need to do. And it also sounds like you're doing it!

    When I told my boss, his reaction was disbelief on both the lack of sleep over the previous months and the depression.

    Well today is a good day, a decent sleep last night has helped. Was up to Dino boy with nightmares, coincidence because I had bad dreams as well (something to do with being chased by a dinosaur and surrounded by people trying to hurt me). But over 9 nine hours in bed, followed by a big brunch-type breakfast.
  • Have a good evening out with Mrs Staggers . Keep on talking

    Do you think that Vrap was scaring you in the dream ?!
  • Hi Staggers,

    How it going? Glad you got a solid 9-hours sleep in. There is nothing worse than being depressed and run down due to lack of sleep. I'm also happy that you are being more constructive. Keep with it Depression is a very serious illness. I think (not being sexist - I'm female) I think it's a lot harder for men to talk about problems and worries. Please keep with it, we are all behind you.
  • yeah

    have a good time with Mrs S


    (you should worry - I had nightmares about Fruity Reindeer)

    xxx
  • Ha bloody ha, one very good night sleep followed by a duff one. Its 5 am and I've been awake for a couple of hours, but there is hope of more sleep.... Probably should have had a milder curry (it wasn't mad cos I like to taste the food not just lose it in heat) and more water before bed. Went to bed very tired and slept for 4 hours!

    Anyway, evening out went ok, no sharp words either way and a bit of thought into what might be at the root of it. Went to bed very tired and slept for 4 hours!

    I don't know if this is logical or not, but I'm begining to get the feeling that I bottled this up for quite a few months and its only because its been quiet at work (i.e. time to reflect and little new stress) that the last few years have come back to haunt me.

    Felt ok most of the day (and good the rest), sort of in control but a bit fragile - hard to describe, nothing wrong while I was busy but a bit quiet in myself.
  • also appear to be suffering from strange repetition symptoms! :-S
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