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sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he’ll have a
little fun.
Ventriloquist: “G’day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?”
Villager: “The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.”
Ventriloquist: “Hello dog, how’s it going mate?”
Dog: “Doin’ all right.”
Villager: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: “Is this villager your owner?” (pointing at the villager)
Dog: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me
to the lake once a week to play.”
Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Villager: “Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either....I think.”
Ventriloquist: “Hey horse, how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool”
Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: “Is this your owner?” (pointing at the villager)
Horse: “Yep”
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.”
Villager: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?”
Villager: “The sheep’s a flippin’ liar.
Never really got into rugby union, but I love rugby league, used to go watch Hunslet play when I was a kid, 2 of my uncles played league, one of them for Hunslet.
Leeds Rhinos, thats my team......
in particular of rigging the weather in an attempt to gain an
advantage in their attempt to become the first Northern hemisphere
side to win the Webb Ellis trophy.
"In my day spring in Sydney was bloody lovely, even Hobart saw some
sun and that place is a s**t hole, but what Clive has done is just
out and out cheating. They'd have never got away with it in my day
'cause we'd have given them a bloody good shoeing when the ref wasn't
looking. Mitch may have his critics for dropping Cullen but he'd
never stoop to the levels the English have gone to"
Former Aussie golden boy John Eales added further fuel to the
accusations raining down on the England camp.
"It's not rocket science to guess the Poms like it cold and wet, it's
never cold and wet here 'cause it's always bloody perfect. The Poms
turn up and we have the worst weather in 25 years. Goes without
saying they're cheating b**tards. The referees have to clamp down and
make sure the roofs are closed. We didn't spend all that bloody money
on those stadia so the Pom's could benefit from playing in natural
conditions. And another thing, Johnson has to be refereed correctly
'cause I clearly saw him pushing in the scrums in the SA game. Don't
these guys watch Super 12? The rules were amended to give us the
advantage and it helped me to achieve iconic status, I'm f***ed if
that gorilla is going to show everyone what real locks do in a game. "
Surprisingly England's staunchest defence has come from their often
harshest critic. Legendary Australian ball dropper David Campese,
probably the most renowned World Cup cheat of them all, after the
staff of a certain South African restaurant, has said he thinks the
wet and blustery conditions are fantastic. "England will love it and
I'll love it 'cause it'll make Joe Roff look s**t and hopefully he'll
drop a ball over the line as well so they'll stop showing those
bloody reruns of me in 1989 on Channel bloody 7"
Steve Hansen refused to comment when asked why if the Welsh had a
stadium with a roof on it they were still s**t.
I understand a little better you thinking rugby is silly...... being Scottish.
anyway - some interesting games this weekend n'est pas????????
We should be looking for a cricket score. (well an England score against Aussie bowlers anyway).
Wonder if the Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau will be replaced with the theme to the Hair Bear Bunch....
The Welsh may be ugly, but they're not stupid!!!!
Scotland however, well that is another story.
am going to miss the Wales/Italy game as am doing other things - maybe not a bad idea - mate will be texting me the scores. will tape and watch later.....maybe!
am bloody nervous already