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I'm sorry but I feel that I must defend those on benifits and are survivors of abuse.
My father tried to kill mel at least twice, another time, I I just can't remember what happened on another episode,.
He repeatedly raped my mother, and from the age of 9 I tried to stop him. Thats why he tried to kill me. I had to cope with 2 disabilities, not being able to talk properly (hence I saw a speech therapist). I was with them from 4 years old till at least 11. I also couldn't walk properly.
I had psychological tests done at 11 yet I was never told. And I only found that I have Dyspraxia when I got to uni (I have a psychology degree).
I was put in front of a professor of psychology that my father was trying to kill me because he loved me.
I realised then that noone was going to help me stop him. But I learnt that if I allowed him to physically mentally sexually abuse me, till he calmed down, then he didn't attack my mother,it was my way of protecting her.
I was battered beaten and builled at school because of my disabilties known and unknown. One kid killled himself for some reason I have survived.
When everything stopped school and my father, I didn't kno what to do. I got into the army, where I was black balled (my penis and scrotum covered in boot polish. I was ki8cked out.
I tried so hard with work, the longest I held a job down was 12 months, at 24 I suffered a massive breakdown, I tried to kill myself because I couldn't stop him all the time. I tried everythin hanging myself walking into the road,even jumping off a bridge.
I hadd tried college a number of times,but I eventuually got the diagnosis and I came out with a honours psychology degree .4% off a two one.
I have been to these work schemes,I went to Lifeline to try and get a volunteer place, they said they don't have the facilities to train me. So even with a degree noone can help with my Post Traumatic Stress.
After a PTS episode in work, or even socially, I get pushed out of work, even while trying to get my Cognitive Psychology Charter.
I spent 12 months on a therapy course, that has helped, but its only filled in the gaps in theeory of what I lost at school and home.
Question, how can a surviour become a whole victim, when from one day or the next you didn't know if you were going to be alive.
I have waking nightmares where I flee my home, and won't go bacck for days, even if it meant sleeping rough.
I end up going on 3 month binge drinking sessions, or longer, before I feel safe to come back home.
I am waiting to go to On Track an alcohol treattment place, I have not been sent by job centre. I was trying to sort it out with my community Psychiatric nurse.
Having these PTS episodes are not fun. I don't want them, I don't know how well mentally, and phsically well I may get.
I do try with the booze, but its the only thing that hides the pain mentally.
Please don't think that survivours of abuse are all like Philpot. I lost a fantastic extended family because I didn't know how to cope in a safe loving family. Theycouldn't cope with me.
I have no frriends as such, just one or 2 people and pubs where the locals have learnt to cope with me, while othersin the same pub won't even recognise I exist, nor want to know what I survived.
I don't want to be this mentally ill I didn't want Dyspraxia etc.
Ijust want to be liked and fit in somewhere, for someone to love andbe with and give that love, a job where my skills can be put to good use.
The damage Osboourne is doing is unbelievable.
He is not even mentioning those who have survived, just that we all use it as a life style choice.
Being alone, being ignored, being told and rejected from e