Oh the Shame!!!!

So picture the scene….…. I’ve had a bad day at work and I’ve got an hour to spare before I have to collect my son. What do I do? Yep; I plug my IPod in, get changed and get the trainers on and go out for a slow run round the town. I’m slowly pounding away on the pavement, pleased with how it is going; my heart rate is where it’s supposed to be for a change and my breathing feels good. Now I hadn’t run this particular route before but know the area basically… my route took me right round the ring road and briefly out into a park beside a school (furthest point out) before coming back through an industrial estate, up a hill and down the other side by a busy main road/dual carriage way to the car park where my car was and where I had to collect my son.

So anyway I’m plodding along listening to some tunes and conversing with the fairies in my head, when as I ran (jogged slowly!) round the corner into the park when I was viciously attacked by what felt like an octopus. I start flailing around madly trying to get this thing off of me. My headphones slip out of my ears and I can hear manic laughing from what sounded like every direction. It turns out that I’d run into a low hanging tree and got caught in the branches just after all the skids got kicked out of the school next door to the park. They were now standing around in big groups laughing at my misfortune. Now as I had been in my own little world chatting with my fairies it took a second for me to twig (sorry!) what was going on. However that was after I’d freed myself from the evil clutches of the branches and fallen flat on my arse, ripping my capris exposing my ample butt cheeks in the process.  

Now I always go commando when running as can’t bear the chaffing but I had never considered what I would do in this situation; I mean who would plan for having their fat arse on show for the entire world to see and they’re 5k away from their car?!  Unfortunately I didn’t have anything with me that I could tie around my waist to cover said exposed buttocks so just decided to leg it back as quick as I could (which for me is actually very slow!) with the rather deluded thought of how many people would notice eh?! So off I run….. Head down, face bright red from embarrassment, frayed ends of my capris fluttering in the wind and a cold breeze swirling around my derriere ….. Oh the shame!

Well on the plus side I now have a new PB for the 5km and if I had a pound for every beep or comment shouted at me during that run then I probably would have been able to drown myself in champagne last night!

So now I have to move town, change my name and buy Kevlar running capris to prevent this from happening again.

 Oh and I also have a massive bruise on my right arm which the OH says looks like a purple nipple.

 Don’t think I’ll be running tonight… :S

Comments

  • See everyone says its bad to run with headphonesimage

    Nice story though, made me laughimage

  • Ah, so this is why DF3 sticks to the treadmill....image

    Great story!

  • Never running with headphones again........

    Or running during the day......

    Or running ever!

    image

  • I'm not sure if the moral is don't run wearing headphones or wear pants?

    At least your mates didn't see you. A guy I went to school with accidentally exposed himself whilst doing the high jump. He's still occasionally referred to as "The Fosbury Flopper".

     

  • Two lessons learnt don't run with headphone and buy some anti chafing undercrakersimage (if there is such a product) 

  • Very funny, you'll be on some CCTV somewhere as wellimage

  • JF50 wrote (see)

    Very funny, you'll be on some CCTV somewhere as wellimage

     

    And Crimewatch! image

  • OH GOD!!!!!! I hadn't considered that! I'm definately moving and changing my name now!

    image

  • So next time your out shopping in and one of these "Injury lawyers 4 U" companies approach you can really wind them up!

  • GingerG wrote (see)

    OH GOD!!!!!! I hadn't considered that! I'm definately moving and changing my name now!

    image

     

    It's a good job that this unfortunate incident happened in front of a load of school kids.

    After all, they'll be too young to own those fancy mobile phones with video recording facilities... and even if they did, the youngsters won't yet have learned how to upload the footage onto YouTube. 

    Maybe.

  • Sue the tree, and the makers of your capris, and the makers of your headphones. It wasn't your fault.......

  • I've no sympathy for you commando ipod warriors. 

    Sort yourself out a pair of speedos to wear underneath. 

    Failing that, load of anti chafing gel.

    Either run like that at night or, I quote, "wear some damn pants".

  • Screamapillar wrote (see)
    JF50 wrote (see)
    Very funny, you'll be on some CCTV somewhere as wellimage  

    And Crimewatch! image

     

    Run Wales wrote (see)

    It's a good job that this unfortunate incident happened in front of a load of school kids.

    After all, they'll be too young to own those fancy mobile phones with video recording facilities... and even if they did, the youngsters won't yet have learned how to upload the footage onto YouTube.  Maybe.

     

     At least they wouldn't be able to see my face very clearly due to the baseball cap pulled down very low.... The rear end is a different matter now!

    image

    RicF wrote (see)

    Sort yourself out a pair of speedos to wear underneath. 

     

    Do they do speedos for girls?!?! lol

     

  • Are you a girl, Ginger?

  • Well, realistically I shouldn't really claim to be a girl due to my ever increasing years, but I am of the female variety!

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  • Thank you, Ginger,  for making me laugh out loud.

    Hope the bruise isn't too sore.

  • I see. 

    Not used to the word 'commando' being used except with guys.

    Since you are a lady, then your case would be merely unfortunate and mildly embarrassing. 

    As for iphone film-makers, I would take a dim view of anyone making footage of that incident. However, if you were a guy, then that's different. Worth a laugh.

    /members/images/493151/Gallery/gel1_0.png

     Your chafing solution.

  • RicF wrote (see)
    Your chafing solution.

     

    Haha I almost fell off my seat laughing when i saw that.....

    image

  • Glad you like it GG.

    We call him Bert Bear.

  • Has the bear branched out?  Isn't he the one doing the food adverts?

    Good story GG image

  • Hey, why are you surprised girls go commando too?

    Much more comfy!

  • That's what I thought as well however now I'm not so sure the comfort is worth the embarrassment!!! 

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