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Outlaw 2014
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Thanks Seren, that made me smile on an otherwise bad day
My first ever race and report follows - apologies for its length (not really, i feckin loved it
)
Prologue
Bronchitis and hip bursitis may have forced me to take absolute rest in the two week run up to Outlaw but my GP said he’d get me to the start line. Little did he know there was another “itis” waiting in the background to floor me the day before the event – squitty shitis.
Fortunately the Pirates travel with their own medical squad and some sound advice from Mrs Digger saw me straight (6 imodium later).
Sherpa Dave woke me at 3.00am to say my alarm hadn’t gone off. That’s because my alarm was set for 3:30am.
I got up and in true pirate fashion had a pre race breakfast that I’ve never had before, rice pudding. The plan was to have porridge and syrup, but I’d forgotten the syrup and plain porridge is blurgh.
I left Sherpa Dave at 4.30am burning toast for Magna Carter and his charming son and tootled off to pump up my tyres and start my extraordinary day (I hate being late).
I’ve half got my wetsuit on and am milling around the start area when I see Flyway. She asks if I need a hug, I must look like a toddler who has been abandoned at nursery, I so needed a hug.
I turn around and see Meldy, she’s so laid back as she slips gracefully into her wettie (I’ve just spent half an hour pulling, stretching and grunting into mine). I need the toilet.
I emerge as they’re calling us to the starting pens. I’m obviously going to pen 4 and have every intention of starting from the back.
Swim
I get into the water 5 mins before kick off (literally). It’s not cold at all so all I have to worry about now is the biff fest, the weeds and the duck/goose pooh. I stand way back and wait for the hooter.
Then suddenly I find myself in front of the first red bouy that we have to keep left of and gasping for breath. I just stop dead. Thoughts going through my mind are:
Hesitantly I put my head down, miraculously my legs come up and it doesn’t seem so much of a fight with the water, 1,2,3 breathe and we’re off again.
I get down to the end and turn right at the bouy and then again for the home stretch. On my breath stroke I can see competitors on their bikes FFS. I’m bored now. I stop kicking and just pull myself along – why does it feel like I’m going faster?
Having swallowed more than my quota of lake water (it tasted no worse than the mere I’ve trained in) I pull up to the swim exit – and this is where I get bashed to bits. I get pulled out and the chap tells me 1:29 swim. I am CTF, I just wanted to make the cut off.
Bike
I think there was a technical issue on timing on the transition – I felt as though I ‘d whipped through in just over a minute so how come as it came up as 5 mins plus?
Anyhoo, I’m into my favourite bit. Not much to report prior to the 1st pass of the Pirate feed station. Sherpa Dave is in the road pointing a camera at me so I sail through with a cheesy grin on my face – have flicked through his pics and there is no evidence of this occurring?
I’m thankful that I am not in need of my special needs item which I gave him before I left – spare pair of shorts on account I was wearing brand spanking new ones and wasn’t sure if we’d be compatible.
On passing the feed station I dug into my bento box where I cunningly placed a malt loaf which I had pre-sliced length ways for easy extradition and consumption. Unfortunately the bloody thing had welded itself back together again and I found myself in a bit of a sticky mess. I called out to Razor and Horse for a wet wipe but they just laughed.
That drag between the two loops was cack.
On the way up Oxton bank a loose water bottle was ricocheting between car and bike wheels. It was a hairy moment but the gods had obviously decided that now I’d actually started the race they’d be on my side as it bounced off my front wheel and into the kerb.
Somewhere on the north loop was an optical illusion of a flat road but I couldn’t get above 10mph (might have had something to do with the head wind).
I was surprised that I hadn’t seen many Pirates out on the course and figured I must be waaaaaay behind. I must dig in and not be shit.
Then at about mile 90 (I think) I hear someone calling and turn to see Meldy! I must have passed her whilst she was taking a comfort break at a feed station. We had a little catch up but she tucked in behind me so as not to break any rules (I was pissed off a little later that 2 competitors rode 2 abreast in front of us for some miles having a natter with absolute disregard to the rules).
Let me tell you, I may have been feeling a bit tired at this point but if you know you’ve got Meldy watching you, you put in a bit more effort! The last 12 miles was hell with that wind but knowing I had a senior (better qualify that with “long serving”) pirate I didn’t hang about. Meldy passed me on the last up-flat and I followed her home.
That was the end of the good bit.
Run
I am about as interested in writing about this as I was about doing it…
It was cooler than the previous day but not as cool as the early morning training runs I had done – where was the rain forecast to coincide with the run?
I did not enjoy it. I implemented a run/walk strategy based on the temperature – walking in the sun and jogging in the shade.
The upside was all the waves, high fives and fist bumps (and big hug off of Mrs Digger) from passing pirates.
Then the finishing chute was there and I was home.
Huge thanks to Slag who carried my bags and guided me to the food stuff whilst anxiously looking out for an incoming Button Mushroom.
Then it was off to the finish line to have a beer and a bop with pirates welcoming the rest of the field home.
brilliant report Ghost
does everyone have those kind of thoughts in the swim? I know I did and had to give myself a stern talking to!
great report and race Ghost......you looked happy all day
Awesome report!! 'Senior' indeed!!
Difficult to wrap the skins round a jelly fish especially if you use blue rizla
Really great reports.
Ghost - I thought you looked like I usually feel at that point pre-race, which is always in need of a hug!
great report Ghost!
Dave burnt the toast to hell and back....
Nice one Ghost
Great report Ghost
Currently eating my own body weight in Isotonic Cadburys Heroes and Recovery Beer
Woohoo Ghost
+1
Did anyone else receive a Outlaw beach towel in the post today. Totally free and unexpected. It is really nice. So in terms of mementoes from the day, i have a medal, a finishers t-shirt, 11 water bottles, a hoodie, swim cap and now a towel!
hoodie... how did you get a hoodie........or did you pay for one
nope but they wouldn't have had my address!
Yeah, i bought the hoodie. Nice quality, if a little pricey at 38 quid. 11 bottles, bit funny. I messed up the last drinks station and didn't finish with any Outlaw bottles, so at the following days prize giving, i asked someone loading up the bottles into a van, if i could have one as i had messed things up and didn't finish with any. They practically begged me to take a whole box (100 ish). I settled for a dozen (the wife gave one away (she doesn't quite get the whole, you have to earn it thing)).