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Ben, I've just had a brilliant idea that can help salvage the ruins of your 'online editor' career.
Have a quick word with the 'tech guys' (and I use the term very very loosely), and get them to put a magazine subscription advert on the "Ooops" common error page, and bingo instantly thousands of hits, and you are bound to pick up loads of new customers for the magazine, and then go and tell your bosses that it was all a fantastically cunning marketing ploy.
No, its OK, don't thank me, you can have that one for free !