The Worst Ever...

OK, so we have our reminiscence thread - Whatever Happened To - where we're talking about the bands we have loved over the years. Which makes this the counterpoint to that thread: what are the worst bands you've ever seen or bought records by?

I'll start:

Worst single bought: "Lady In Red" by Chris DeBurgh - I was young and naive is my only excuse.

Worst album bought: "Pipes Of Peace" by Paul McCartney - what was I thinking?

Worst band seen: it's a tie between Oasis (my wife fell asleep and I was bored stiff) and Yngwie Malmsteen's Rising Force (I sat in the corner and went to sleep).



  • GavoGavo ✭✭✭
    Am ashamed to say that I have a couple of Jamiroquai (or however it's spelt) CDs that I have listened to once. Not really sure what the worst gig I've ever been to though I was quite bored at the one & only Springsteen gig that I got taken to.
  • ..has to be Village People - The Hits.

    My excuse? Well, I just liked their party songs.

    However, I purchased it about 10 years ago without realising that I would then get the exaggerated limp wrist traetment and other homophobic comments afterwards - it's as if, "oh you purchased Village People, you must be a screaming queen then".

    Do purchasers of George Michael and Will Young records get the same treatment?
  • worst gig- Human league, lancaster Uni 1982 ( i think)

    Best Gig - Ozzy Osbourne Donnoington and Dire Straits before fame.

    Worst record- I'll have to think about this one - there's been so many.
  • Worst band - the support band for Natalie Merchant at the Royal Albert Hall in May this year - DIRE. Can't remember what they were called - don't want to.....

    Worst single - Nikita, Elton John (well I was about twelve at the time)

    Worst album - Deep Blue Something 'Home' - which Mr F and I bought for the single 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', but the rest of the album is pretty awful.

    Worst album ever bought for us as a present - Ensemble Tbilisi singing Georgian Folk Songs....I think it must have been a joke
  • Haircut 100 album. need i say more. i think i destroyed it.

    I also had a duran duran album which i was embarrased about so i sold it for £2. although looking back DD wern't all that bad i suppose.
  • East 17. Thats it. They were total pants. One of their tracks is on a comilation I've got and I hate it with a passion.
  • i think they did one song that was ok, but i'm having trouble remembering it. it obviously can't of been that good then.
  • RedheadRedhead ✭✭✭
    Worst album, can't remember it's name but was by 'Half Man, Half Biscuit'. It had endearing songs such as 'I Hate Nerys Hughes' and 'I left my heart in Papworth General'.
  • i left my heart in Papworth general !! what the hell was that. (can't stop laughing and everyones looking at me).
  • GavoGavo ✭✭✭
    Agree with FANY on the Natalie Merchant support band but wasn't quite the worst support band that I have seen - I saw someone supporting the River City People (I was young - forgive me) who were far worse than dire.

    As for bad records, I honestly think that there should be a quality control expert at HMV, Tower, Virgin etc so that when people buy stuff by Will Young, Atomic Kitten (possible contender for worst cover version ever with that Blondie song), etc (add your own as a form of catharsis) then they should be told that it's for their own good - "Put it down, you'll thank me some day".
  • Saw Duran Duran as support for Hazel O'connor in 1980 - forecast a life of dullness and mediocrity for them!!!

    Oops wrong again
  • I'm not sure why, but I did go to a Brother Beyond concert once. I think we thought it would be a laugh. It wasn't. Worst album I've ever heard is, without a doubt, Be Here Now by Oasis, Absolute pants. A lady friend recorded it for me, and raved about it. I listened to it in my car, and it was unceremoniously dumped in a roadside skip.

    How about worst film?
    Natural Born Killers gets my vote. No, hold on a minute. The Blues Brothers. Utter, utter plop.
  • Worst concert: heavy metal band called Blackfoot, Hammersmith I think ca 1982, invited by very short term boyfriend with a penchant for glue sniffing.

    Nothing since has been quite as bad I'm pleased to say.

  • That goes for both the band and the boyfriend come to think of it.
  • Oh, I used to love Half Man Half Biscuit. The one about Lev Yashin and Dukla Prague....? Excellent lyrics. I saw them at Exeter Uni many years ago and they stopped 1/2 way through their set - one of the guitar strings broke and they took ages to find a spare.

    Worst - Sisters of Mercy i think.
  • Half man Half Biscuit did a track called ""99 percent of Gargoyles look like Bob Todd"
  • Barkles,
    I don't believe it. I was at the very same Human League concert at Lancaster Uni. It was absolute pants wasn't it. If my memory serves me correctly, they had technical problems. The support were 2 blokes who were even worse than H.L. and they ended up covered in spit and flem and grolly etc.

    We retired to the bar after 3 songs.

  • Half Man Half Biscuit were one of our favourite bands at school (we were also quite keen on Ivor Cutler). Their songs and lyrics were superb - I first heard them in a local indie record shop when "F***in' 'Ell, It's Fred Titmus" came on.

    Other classic tracks include:

    99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
    Time Flies By (When You're A Driver Of A Train)
    I Hate Nerys Hughes (From The Heart)
    I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves)
    The Trumpton Riots
    All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
    Dickie Davies Eyes
    Rod Hull Is Alive - Why?
    13 Eurogoths Floating In The Dead Sea
    Styx Gig (Seen By My Mates Coming Out Of A)
    Hair Like Brian May Blues
    Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be With Jesus
    Paintball's Coming Home
    Ballad Of Climie Fisher
    Bob Wilson - Anchorman
    The Light At The End Of The Tunnel (Is The Light Of An Oncoming Train)

  • Natural Born Killers was SO bad - gross. Saw a worse one last Sunday on Ch4 though - 8MM with Nicholas Cage.....horrible
  • Neilruns how dare you insult the almighty Sisters!!? (who ARE still playing btw!)
    Looove half man half biscuit - every time we go up to London in along the westway, I HAVE to say 'and Brian Moore's head looks uncannnily like London Planetarium', drives Mr Fraggle nuts!!
  • Worst film ? Wild wild west was complete pants; I walked out half way through Chariots of fire (big yawn), and anything with either Bruce willis or sylvester stallone in.

    Worst gig - friend took me to see Tanita Tikarum once....I'd rather have had my toenails ripped out.
  • I went about 10 weeks once going to a concert every week, bands like The Mission, Madness, Green Jelly, Runrig, Big Country, Meatloaf ….

    But the worst band I went to see during this period was BLUR they had the stage presences of a tictac and the personalities of a small slug

    The Pasadena’s (spelling?) were pretty bad also .. but I have the excuse of being drunk on a 18-30s holiday

  • Worst film- Moulin Rouge Total Sh*te

    Worst Record I ever bought( & this is embarrassing) Showaddywaddy's greatest hits
  • Worst Films : -

    Friday the 13th part 3 (in 3D)
    Carry on Columbus

    I'll think of some more...

  • I liked "Natural Born Killers" and it has a fantastic soundtrack too.

    I saw "Wild Wild West" as an in-flight movie to somewhere. It was terrible - what were they thinking?

    I saw a Brit HM band called Heavy Pettin' in '87 supporting Magnum (don't laugh). They were just about to enter A Song For Europe with a track called "Romeo" (they lost), and they were awful.

    I had the pleasure of seeing Cradle Of Filth at Ozzfest over the summer. Now, I have to admit that I like the IDEA of COF, I just don't like the music! Mind you, they were better than Lostprophets, who are just dull.

    I saw Mud at Aston when I was a student - it was about 3am and all of a dozen people turned up to watch. They were dire, and they apparently swore afterwards that they'd never play another student gig again. Mind you, the fact that I had two bottles of wine, three pints of bitter and a bottle of scotch inside me by this point, and was stood directly in front of Les Gray shouting "Tiger Feet" all through their set probably didn't help....

  • Worst film: "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" is up there with "JFK" and "Dances With Wolves". Oh look, do you think there's a connection?

    Worst live band: OK, I've already posted on this, but other things are now occurring to me - The Fall (saw them in Slough in '92, and they were terrible), Bomb The Bass (played Aston, too loud, not pleasant), Curiosity (aka Curiosity Killed The Cat - played Aston, they thought they were superstars - they weren't). More to follow.
  • Mr A, how can you forget the 'brilliant' Waterworld and the 'excellent' The Postman?

  • Thankfully, I've never seen "The Postman" but I will confess to quite liking "Field of Dreams".
  • GavoGavo ✭✭✭
    I paid good money to see "Dracula: Dead & Loving it", "Kuffs", "Hocus Pocus" & I want those 6 hours back in my life. I'm sure there's many more bad films ("Hook" rings a bell as well) that I've seen but the 1st 3 stand out. Also hated "The English Patient", didn't get that at all.
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