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4 July race reports
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Watch out Candy doesn't spill them mind.
Carry on Mon - this is brilliant. Never mind the Hardest Day - more like the Funniest Day !
I had made my mind up to do the essential stop at exactly half way- it does help to know how far Ironman distance is I had reckoned on 116 miles bike and my speedo it turned out wasn't recording accurately so some time after the hill on the second lap I had found some quiet woods to do the worlds longest pee (about 2 minutes) no problem hydrating then and *ahem* attend to personal matters.
i almost forgot my chain had fallen off on the first lap, but I fixed it calmly and in the manner of a professional without sobbing.
This is Iron Numptie.
Pray continue Mon - it's just so funny !
The last couple of miles of the bike I shifted down onto easier gears and stood up to stretch my calves. I had packed emu oil into my run bag in case of cramp so I could do a quick massage, but I was ok.
Stoppit!
}:o[
i was stopping at every drinks station to waolk and take on water and coke and glucose sweets, and eventually passed Andy. in fact and this is the best thing about having a running background I never got passed once.
I t dawned on me that I could catch the pacing bike for 12 hours and did at about 18km. I built up a lead of 5 minutes, but with 13 k to go I started to run out of steam. each kmmarker saw my lead reduced. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it, I didn't stop at any drinks stations in the last 5 k but it was not enough at 40 km the bike passed and no amount of willingness could make my legs keep up. But I thought a marathon is 42 km bang on so the bike guy was going too fast.
No, idiot it's 42 point something: Once again my lack of prior research had let me down, I passed 42k inb a fraction under 12 hours but still had to get round the corner and oh no they had put a ramp at the finish line and I didn't think I would make it up it.
"emu oil"???<<hopes the name is of the same ilk as kiwi shoe polish>>
damn there were guys doing the whole stretchered off thing and I had buggered my chances, suspiciously few women were collapsing though, I noted, no doubt they had to get home to put the tea on.
lol and hugs and sisterly high-fives and stuff.
That night in bed I thought back to the last time I felt this knackered and it was when I spent 36 hours in labour with my first son, at least this time I wasn't going to be woken at 4 am have a baby shoved into my arms and get told to feed it, hurrah.
Anyway where's Nick with his report, it might lend a more professional tone to proceedings.
i also rather dominated the after race party dancing on the stage to all manner of dodgy music, for which I apologise unreservedly.
lol
gotta go for a while - teenager with lane-rope burns on her arms from particularly frenzied butterfly session wants to use the computer. Hmph.
Well done, congratulations on your superb achievements.
The race report is fantastic, had me in fits of laughter and ive just read it all through word for word.
Cant wait for Switzerland next year, presuming LD goes fine and I can fit it in my calendar come hell or high water ill be their.
Jj, think you’ll have to go out in a dingy at Zurich and lay some underwater lights for Mr Zigzag to follow.
We are in awe of you !
so ner.
[pads off, tail in air]
got your mail and i is off ome in a min so laters dude
Luv
Mt
awesome reading - v.funny.
I take my hat off to anyone who completes the Ironman. I would have drowned before the bike stage no doubt.