best running put-downs

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  • hee hee david B
    Id forgotten that quote
  • Lmao @ hamster line, have to remember that one. Im often told that "the bear has stopped chasing" by somebody who hasnt seen their own genitals in a long time.Smart arse.
  • I'm always tempted to tap them on the elbow as I run past and shout "Tig - your it"

  • A couple I use on teenagers

    "Shouldn't you get home, your mother will be worried with you being out so late". Doesn't matter what time it is but too long to say unless they are running along with you.

    Similarly when they tired of the game and stop running with you "Getting tired are you?". I must admit I have only got it to work once and having someone run with me for a distance before he realised that he was probably about a mile away from the rest of his mates.
  • i usually ask them to join me...... strangely no-one has ever taken up the offer
  • 1. " Come and have a go if you think you're fast enough "

    2. " I can run faster than you can ride a bike "

    3. " I run further in a week than you drive your car "

    4. " I'd rather die running than in your armchair with a fag on "
  • those are ok if you can actuallyrun



    My plod-well---er it wouldnt work
  • Have never really had a good put down. I usualy just take it as a confidence boost. If I am out running and doing something I enjoy. While the best they can do is stand and pass comment. Who is the looser?
  • VoodsVoods ✭✭✭
    Hasn't happened very often to me cos I keep getting caught out in the rain and everyone dissappears off the streets apart from the mad runner :o)

    I have had a kid run by the side of me and I just turned and said "right, do the other 5 miles first and then join me". Conversation went on where he didn't believe I'd done five miles so explained that I'd run from a village 5 miles away. The kid was genuinely impressed.

    Just goes to show that not all kids are little sods.

    Also, think being 6' 5" and quite broad has a lot to do with people not really making comments as well.
  • vood
    you have BREATH to expalin?
  • JjJj ✭✭✭
    lol Hippo! My thoughts exactly! (ask Kermit!)
  • "I bet I'm older than your mum and dad .... could they run this fast?" usually illicits some derogatory response about their folks who most kids believe to be lower down the evolutionary chain than this old runner!!
  • VoodsVoods ✭✭✭
    LOL PH - yes, it was a looong slooooow plod under my Easy Run limit (sorry, can't remember the technical term from the HRM bible for idiots), so wasn't quite out of breath. Not saying that it wasn't short sentences with wheezes inbetween but you get the picture :)
  • VoodsVoods ✭✭✭
  • JjJj ✭✭✭
    Kermit resides on the Mature thread, VS. I went running with her last night, and she ... erm.. took the burden of conversation upon herself!!
  • VoodsVoods ✭✭✭
    LOL Jj, love that turn of phrase "... took the burden of conversation upon herself".

    Will have to remember that one. Saying that though, I have been known to do that myself. Especially after imbibing one too many alki-pops :)
  • We were once doing 1K road intervals at my club on a Tuesday night.
    As we stormed round the bend going at what must have been at least 4.45 mile pace for the last rep, we bumped into a group of teenagers.
    One of them decided to follow us and after sprinting up the road for 100m started getting decidedly out of breath.

    He was running in front of one of my mates who said "cant you keep up" to this kid, who turned his head and grunted a reply.

    He shouldn't have. SMACK! I felt sorry for the lampost. It was hilarious!
  • The thread "Bloody Non-Runners" from a few weeks ago also addressed this issue.

    Is baring your arse and giving it a few mocking slaps not an acceptable way to behave when you receive abuse when out running?

    It seem's to do the trick; It either irritates the hell out of thew yobs dishing out the abuse or makes them laugh.

    (obviously do this from a safe distance)



  • Slugger
    even i am not so cruel as to inflict my bottie on the populace
  • I'm with PH (earlier set of comments), I don't go fast enough to warrant a really cool remark!!

    Usually, I suggest that they try wearing a lycra outfit and see how they look - bet that wouldn't be a pretty sight!!
  • "How do you answer back when someone mocks your running style or your latest luminous lycra creation? The best running put-downs will appear in RW...."


    ...anyone who wears luminous lycra deserves to be put down......some of the gear you see some people out shuffling along in im half tempted to mock them myself.
  • People don't really still wear luminous lycra do they - they do know that the 80's were twenty years ago!!!
  • ...there is a bloke around here who wears these very bright blue lycra running tight things a matching bright blue vest with a bum bag and a headband thing. He compounds his ridiculous look by occasionally stopping at lamposts to do squats.

    If this chap doesnt get ridiculed by teenagers there is something wrong with the modern generation. ;-)
  • HA HA HA HA HA - ohmigod, why am I laughing that's scary!!!
  • :-)) Talk about making yourself a target.

    #### you you walking heart attack ####.

    I'm very witty when it comes to comebacks.
  • Chav leaning out of his bling Nova - "118 got your number"
    Runner - "999 got your number"

    Also find 666 works aswell. Had a kid trying to keep up with me running across a playing field. He found it hilarious until he got his pristine white reeboks covered in dog sh*t. He could have used his burberry baseball cap to wipe it off.
  • MuttleyMuttley ✭✭✭
    I got heckled by some young teenage girls the other day: "Blimey, look at the tits on that!"

    I was the only runner around, so they must have meant me. I was lost for words.

    Usually find "you're welcome to join me" works. But on one occasion they did, all the way up a large hill. When we got to the top I complimented them on doing so well and suggested they look into the local athletics club. They stared back dumbfounded. It was probably the only positive comment they'd ever had in their lives.

    Otherwise.... "the last time I saw an arse that big there was a trunk on the other end picking up buns".
  • If the hecklers are older, 'respectable' men (like, on a golf course) I will trot up to them and tell them how disgusting they are, ask what they would think if someone made that comment to their wife/daughter/sister and won't go away until they have apologised.
    Aah, the joys of being female and 5'10" with muscles...

    OK, that's not exactly a put down. My other favourite is "I heard you were rubbish in bed" (doesn't work very well on 10 year olds though)
  • LizzyB - Is your "rubbish in bed" comment just a general put down, or specific to lippy bystanders when you're out running! ;-)
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