Cr@p Swimmers R Us



  • I heard when you go on holiday that some illegal immigrants are planning to hide in it, Smitch :oP
  • Gavo - TIP: dont breath in while head under water
  • Am I eligible to join ... I also did the 1500m open water swim that Ping Pong Boy was last in. I breast stroked for 10 minutes paniced because of the swell and raised a hand to be rescued. They didnt see me so I calmed down and carried on breaststroking for the remaining 35 minutes till I got out the water. I was 3rd last by my reckoning as the results are not out yet.

  • ahem!!

    What video format is used in the UK?
  • Pal I ........... I believe
  • So PAL vids are no good then?


    Bog all use selling them on the UK TI website then!
  • PAL, Bear.
  • PAL is the broadcast standard for the UK
  • Pal for UK
    NTSC for America
    Secam for France
    all systems are VHS
  • as oposed to NTSC that is standard in the USA
  • ah ok, so it'll work - thanks :o)
  • GavoGavo ✭✭✭
    WW - tried that but it doesn't always work. Might get one of those things that goes across the nose.

    Smitch - just been to buy a new phone but your model wasn't listed. Is it old or something (though not as old as Multi, obviously)
  • I'm the Queen of crap swimmers! I can swim for a long way, but only slowly. Took my IM swim PB down this year from 2hrs 09 to 1hr 52, still very slow compared to most others. The Mr. can do it in 1hr 08, makes me sick!
    My 1000m best is 26mins. Everyone else in the world seems to be able to swim 20 or less.
  • 26 mins really isnt bad, you know!

    Stop being hard on yourself!
  • WLD Ironwolf, it sounds well impressive to me. You certainly don't fall into the category of Queen of Crap Swimmers (that place is already reserved for me I'm afraid).

    Evening swimmers by the way, ignore that Multi taking over my thread. He is just jealous because my phone is nicer than his.

  • Duuuuur-duh! Duuuuur-duh! Duuuuur-duh! Dur-du! Dur-duh! Dur-duh! Dur-duh! Dur-duh......! (That's the "Jaws" theme tune by way!!)

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! Not The Phone!!
  • Please can I join in - I'm currently trying to learn front crawl. I can just swim whole lengths but have to have a massive rest before I can swim the next one. I am also v.v.slow: last time I swam I was overtaken by a women swimming breast stroke with her head out of the water wearing glasses. However (hard as it is to believe) I have improved a lot as I couldn't manage more than a third of a length a couple of months ago.
    I think I need to increase the frequency of my training to see any improvement now ie. go more than once a week.
    So do I qualify for Queen of Crap swimmers??
  • Nope.So long as you are trying, you get all the admiration in the world.

    It aint easy to learn, not by a long chalk.

    Keep going!
  • Twiglets Legs,


    I am also learning to swim at the moment, & I can honestly echo everything you have said, especially how tiring it is? My instructor says that as my technique improves (with practice), then my swimming action will become more efficient and require less effort. I really hope she is right, 'cause at the moment I find that marathon running is far less exhausting for me than swimming one 20m length! And that's my limit at the moment. Does this make me the king of crap swimmers??

    I've often heard many competent swimmers say that they "swim for relaxation". Well, from where I am at the moment, I really fail to see how that can be possible!

    I think I've made some progress though - before my lessons started (14 weeks ago) I wouldn't even get in the pool!
    (My dad threw me in the deep end when I was young - nearly drowned & had to be rescued)!

    Good luck with your efforts......I fully appreciate how difficult learning to swim is........!

  • Welcome Twiglet Legs.

    Next year we will all be doing triathlons, and getting really fast at the swim sections, I can feel it in my water.

    Just watch out for the sharks...! eek!
  • TTT - when I was at school we had a very scary teacher for swimming, who used to shout, and I mean *shout*. My memory of swimming lessons is her walking up and down the pool with a broom handle waiting for you to stop swimming your length, so she could get some more shouting in again!

    That and floating plasters, of course.
  • Well done to you too TTT. Everything you say also rings true for me.Give it time, you'll improve dramatically.

    Its ironic though: the more effort you make, the slower you'll go, perversely.

    Dont try too hard!

  • I challenge anyone to stay awake for the duration of the TI video!!!

    I am a terrible swimmer. First two tris I did breaststroke.

    Lucky enough that my local swimming club has a coach that will teach TI to triathletes at £17 for 10 sessions. Was just getting the hang of it before we started a 3 week summer break. Have tried doing the drills on my own in local swimming pool, but invariably it ends up going wrong.

    Looking forward to getting my front crawl together for next tri season.
  • Stop this thread I want to get on! Didn't I sow the idea of this in the first place, and now it's page 3?

    We have just been away for a few days, and took the kids to the local baths for a family swim. The Mrs (bless her) knocked out half a mile in 20 minutes, she usually does a mile at the same pace, but the place was heaving. Then it was my turn to have a go at swimming instead of standing & watching.

    My target was 400m against the clock. OK so I kicked a couple of oiks in the process, but I did manage one and a half lengths of crawl, the rest in breast. 12 minutes and I was creamed.

    I've since had to go to the physio to sort out the shoulder!
  • "12 minutes and I was creamed."


    never get that kind of attention at my local baths.

  • Am a one stroke swimmer myself, can do breaststroke OK but half-drown whenever I attempt freestyle. I am wondering whether to ask for some lessons for my birthday, but not sure how good the lessons at the gym would be. I can do a mile breaststroke in about 45 minutes, is this very slow? Really not sure, I overtake a fair few people, but not many of them are doing freestyle.
  • WaboWabo ✭✭✭
    I did 750m in 24 mins last night, breastroke, I must be up in the queen if not princess cr@p swimmer stakes? Jester maybe?
    possunt quia posse videntur - we can because we know we can 
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