Unfunny Comments!

What about those annoying and unfunny comments that we runners endure when out for a run i.e 'fun faster'...if I have heard that once I have heard it a thousand times !
If I am going to get heckled at for my running then please say something original to make me laugh !
Has anyone any funny stories or killer comeback remarks ?
Would love to hear them !


  • Recent heckles that I've received:

    "Get those knees up, slaphead!" - a bunch of young kids giving sound postural advice.

    "You WILL finish that marathon!" - from another young lad, who was impressed to hear that I've actually finished four already.

    "Blimey, look at the tits on that!" - from a bunch of young teenage girls. Yes, they were talking about me.

    "Come on No 548, you can still win this one, y'know!" - from a spectator during a recent 10K. I finished in 51 minutes. Only 15 behind the actual winner.
  • I was visiting my parents in Torquay one year and went for a run the same day it was the London Marathon. Someone yelled " did you take a wrong turning and get lost ?" !!!
  • During a run a week before the FLM,

    "Will you finish with the rest of them then?"
  • Not long to go (in a race just after the starting gun has started)
  • Pammie,
    That is a good one !
  • Any chance of a free holiday runningnut?


    ...shouted at me once from a car passing at 70mph. Why bother? I suppose if you're stupid enough to think it would be funny/clever to shout something at a runner then you're probably too stupid to realise that your comment wont be heard at that sort of speed. I hope he's had good fortune with the rest of his life. Dog knows he clearly needs it, the stupid ****.
  • Hey Dodge,
    You want a free holiday to a place where they eat grits, fried chicken, fried chicken and more fried chicken, talk with a very big "twaaaang" and live , eat and breathe the bible ?????
    And that is just the tip of the iceberg....I could go on and on....!
  • If the word "free" can be strategically placed amongst that lot then I like fried chicken, don't mind twangs (even those of the twaaaang variety) and if they eat and breathe the Bible well good for them [must make a nice change from eating grit :) ]
  • Hey Dodge,
    Who is that photo of ? If it is you, you are very advanced for your age ;)
  • Don't like sexual comments shouted at me from slow moving vehicles and even more annoying is those who decide to beeb their horns as they approach from behind-I've nearly slipped off the curb through jumping before!

    The worst comment I had was actually while tri training on my bike. I pulled up by some traffic lights along side, dare I say it a white van! Two guys inside, one leans out and says "I wish I was that saddle you're sat on so you could ride me like that"! I kid you not!! I was so embarrassed I was lost for words!
  • But if you were a saddle you wouldn't really enjoy it, would you? I mean, you'd just feel used. He just hadn't thought it through (A bit like Prince Charles - Hang on, Hilly, did he have big ears?).
  • Tom.Tom. ✭✭✭
    Doing intervals on the local track, I got "Get a move on grandad!". Fair doos!
  • As well as the usual 'Look at the arse/tits on that' I do often get 'Run Forrest, Run!' too. Actually the lad who shouted it from the passenger seat of his mate's car the other night had the accent off to a tee - I was quite impressed!
  • I heard that a good comeback for the "Run Forest Run " comment is to shout back that you are looking for Bubba !!
  • Teenage girl 'you're not running very fast' me 'that's because I'm old and fat' kind of took the wind out of her sails.

    Bloke (the usual fat old git type) shouted a few 'funny' comments at me a few weeks ago, so on my way back past him 30 mins later I stopped him and gave him a piece of my mind. He said I was stupid and making a complete fool of myself whereupon I completely lost it and used words I hope my children never hear me say!!!!

    (note to self - do not go running an hour after taking decongestant tablets as they make you a bit jittery and uptight!!)
  • I haven't been wolf whistled at for a while, although I did have a 'nice legs' not so long a go.

    This summer got a "you're not very fast" from a teenage girl (with her fella), she was somewhat surprised when I stopped and replied "race yer then"

    In fairness to the yoof who hang around outside 7-11 in my village I don't get any comments, although having replies about does their mum know they're out / have you done your homework / isn't it past your bedtime ready do help.

    As for van/escort drivers I find a "f**k off, c**t," normally suffices.

    My main gripe is the non-indicators - lose count how many times a gave the w**ker signal, andthat was just this morning....

    No honest , I'm a happy runner :D

  • Ohhhhh non indicators are very annoying...and drivers who don't move out of the way for you and treat you as if you have no right to be on "their" road.
    I have just got back from a long run and was nearly run off the road a fair few times : grrrrrrrr !
  • A pitying look followed by "What a sad ****!", said about them rather than at them, is often best. Aim to belittle them rather than rising to their bait. It would be nice to have a gun sometimes though. The look on someone's face when you shoot them through the knee is priceless.

  • no funny comments for me other than the usual already mentioned above. some thing that does stand out though was last years great north run. a woman with a plackard saying "less than half way to go now" really cheered me up until about half a mile later i saw the official half way marker! if my legs would have let me i would have gone back and whacked her with her plackard! not a happy bunny was i.
  • no funny comments to report but rather an uncomfortable situation when two young girls insisted on cycling alongside me , staring at me in a children of the damned sort of way. Very offputting but a loud BAH sent them packing.
  • Ducky 2,
    I had a similar experince whilst on a 10K once : some idiot thought that it would be amusing to mix up the km markers.
    Not funny at all and if I ever got my hands on them.....double grrrrrr.
  • "No need to run, I'll wait for you!"
  • I love to have a bit of banter with anyone when out running.
    Recently while on holiday in Spain ,i was out running when a car approaching had a man hanging out of the window,waving his arms shouting"riba riba",then acouple days later i was out again when the same car passed me and i got riba riba again.

    what i did`t find funny was a few weeks back i was running one friday evening when i had to run around a gang of youths who were blocking the path,nothing was said but just as i passed them an empty beer bottle bounced not 6 inches in front of me.i thought it better to carry on and just blank it
  • got your number
  • Mystic Wind -

    I've had something similar. I find that clearing my throat loudly, with mouth open, and looking them straight in the eye does the trick.
  • Only ever been bothered, so that I noticed, three times.

    Two years or so ago running on pavements with frequent street turns from main road, couple of young chavs thought it would be fun to turn right, right at me, whilst I was mid crossing, blocking my way and having a good laugh throwing the brakes on and just missing me. The third time they tried it I jumped on the car bonnet with both feet as hard as I could, then headed for the canal path.

    Some time after that some dic* head passenger in a car stuck his head out of his mate's sunroof and shouted for me to 'get a life'. I'm sure you can all imagine what went through my mind.

    Last Thursday out running with a friend and two young lads, 14 years old or so at a guess, did an absolutely hilarious mimic (i'm sure you can imagine) of running along side us. It was even more hilarious for us when something fell out of one of their pockets, hits the tarmac, and he shouts to his pal, 'i've smashed my bas*ard mobile'.
  • There is some justice in this world : serve him right ! Ha Ha !!
  • There is some justice in this world : serves him right ! Ha Ha !!
  • 3 boyz in hooded tops with baseball caps, on cheap-full suss mountain bikes, saddles down, spinning the low gear were riding along behind us, in front of us, alongside us......I dunno they may have been taking the p!ss, they may not have, but one of the boyz tries to pass me on some slippery cobbles and goes ass over tit.

    I suppose I could've taken the p!ss but I stopped to make sure he was alright. He wasn't as he had landed on abottle and his bike had landed on top of him, but there was no way he was admitting it to me.....innit.
  • Cheers Gary, its 07:39AM and i'm laughing my head off.
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