F.A.B : International Heart Rate Rescue are GO!

Yes folks a special investigation by the Daily Planet has revealed that the 1960’s group formerly known as International Rescue are now operating in RUNNERSWORLD as International Heart Rate Rescue (IHRR). The Daily Planet, in an exclusive story, has conclusive proof that Jeff Tracy, his 5 famous sons and associates are once again saving souls from lost causes of heart rate monitor abuse. This special investigation has also revealed the pseudonyms being used by several of Jeff’s team in RUNNERSWORLD forumland. What is more, the arch enemy of International Rescue, THE HOOD, is also revealed to be still active.

Just two days ago a distressed runner from Tunbridge Wells, NEILRUNS was rescued from erroneous use of his HRM while out alone on his long slow run. NEILRUNS was saved by rapid intervention by IHRR. News of NEILRUNS’ rescue spread quickly and several other bystanders were also seeking the help of the IHRR team. Again, two weeks ago EVIL PIXIE was found helpless before a catalogue of HRM options to buy in a confused state. Rapid reaction from IHRR was able to provide her with great guidance and she is now well on the way to receiving the Xmas present of her dreams.

International Rescue was formed in the 1960’s by reclusive billionaire industrialist-turned-philanthropist Jeff Tracy. Mr Tracy took his billions and several technology geniuses to a remote island where he built a series of fantastic flying machines called Thunderbirds. Using state-of-the-art satellite monitoring Mr Tracy and his 5 sons were able to monitor for cries of help all over the world and using their technology to respond to countless emergencies and save lives. Their tales of derring-do are legendary, catching supersonic aircraft, burrowing into volcanoes etc etc. Throughout their time in operation IR were challenged by the arch-villain, THE HOOD, who would seek to impersonate the IR team in order to wreak his own havoc. THE HOOD’s main weapon was an incredible gaze which allowed him to hypnotise anyone he looked at and bring them under his total control. Affected citizens would then follow his every word to the letter.

Now in the early 21st century in RUNNERSWORLD the Heart Rate Monitor has emerged as the citizens training aid of choice. There are many published guides on using these but it is easy for citizens of RUNNERSWORLD go astray and become slaves to these devices. This is where THE HOOD is at his most dangerous and forms the rationale for the re-formation of Mr Tracy’s team as IHRR.

Please turn to page 2 for more sensational revelations…


  • So our readers, you need to know who are the key actors in IHRR

    Scott – used to fly TB1 is operating as ACHILLES. Scott is renowned for his speed and ability to use the latest ideas flowing from his father’s Thinktank. ACHILLES’ identity is confirmed finally by his complete mastery of the latest thinking from Frank Horwill.

    Virgil – used to fly TB2 is operating as DREW. Virgil was the most experienced of the Tracy boys and a very level headed character. Not always the first on the scene but sums up the situation well and provides just the right specialist equipment. DREW is always able to provide an online link to the best advice needed by a distressed runner.

    Alan – used to fly TB3 is operating as SFH LEGS. Alan was the least experienced of the brothers but was often on the scene first. However, his inexperience shows and SFH LEGS needs to regularly gain the support of his more knowledgeable brothers.

    Gordon – used to pilot the submarine craft TB4. Gordon didn’t suffer from claustrophobia unlike some of the others and his underwater operations have given him a strong sense of environmentalism, he did like a drink or two though. Gordon is operating as PIZZA MAN, known to have spent 3 hours confined to a treadmill and has taken up the racoon’s cause. PIZZA MAN is an experienced HR user.

    John – was the ever-watchful one in the skies scanning for cries for help. PSI is John’s alter ego, always on the look out in the silent ours while the others sleep. PSI rarely takes part in rescues as such but guides the others in.

    Lady Penelope – didn’t live on Tracy Island but resided deep in the English countryside. LAURA L is Lady Penelope, revealed through her remoteness, but always speedy response to crises in her adopted country. LAURA L, like Lady Penelope has a penchant for tea and ginger cake. She is a master of disguise, recently posing as Frank Horwill’s assistant during a rescue.

    Lady Penelope was assisted by her slightly dodgy manservant, Parker. Not a lot is known about Parker. However, LAURA L has revealed the existence of a mysterious running partner and also a closely related male who prefers wheels to running, a sure sign of a past behind the wheel of a pink Rolls Royce.

    Tin Tin – glamorous assistant to the Tracy Island base team; rarely takes part in rescues but is always asking the boys about their experiences to further her own research and is happy to share a glass of wine beside the pool with them. SNICKS interrogation of Scott and Virgil can often be construed as flirting, nothing could be further from the truth, SNICKS is a class act in her own right.

    Other members have not been finally identified yet but Mr Tracy is supported by the eponymous BRAINS, his faithful assistant, KYRANO and his ever-present mother; GRANDMA to the boys. The Daily Planet is close to identifying GRANDMA having trailed LAURA L around the over 60’s thread but we are no nearer to identifying KYRANO, BRAINS or Mr TRACY himself -They rarely attend rescues. Readers are asked to contribute their own ideas to the Daily Planet. We are convinced that SEAN FISHPOOL, STEVE SEATON, ROB SPEDDING, HAL HIGDON and BRUCE TULLOH are in some ways central to the IHRR team, others such as MARMITE MASTER and KORSA KING are known to be associates of Mr TRACY.

    please turn to page 3
  • One thing is clear to us, MARTINH is not part of the IHRR organisation. He is based in a different space place and operates as part of a military organisation headed by Colonel White, and as its most famous member Captain Scarlet, he conducts many running related rescues.

    Mr Tracy’s arch enemy, THE HOOD is sensationally revealed to be non other than RON GROVER. Masquerading behind a plain English guide to HR use THE HOOD has taken complete control of several runners who now fulfil his every instruction. Female runners are the most vulnerable to his intense gaze. The Daily Planet fully expects a showdown between IHRR and THE HOOD in the near future. Be sure your reporter will be there to bring you all the news.
  • drewdrew ✭✭✭
    What happened to superman? I thought he worked at the daily planet with you, Cub Reporter.

    And what is the identity of Captain Black?
  • Rule 1 of journalism Drew, or may I say Virgil, is never to reveal the whole story in one edition. The editor needs readers to buy tomorrow's edition.

    The activities of Captain Black, The Mysterons, Flash Gordon and the Fireball XL5 crew are features planned for early in the new year.

    keep on buying readers
  • So this is how you spend your time while some of us are out trying to improve our lactate thresholds? I suspected Chimp but tried the little number thingy and drew a blank. Conclusions so far:
    Gender: male (obviously!)
    Vintage: 40+

    Post your suspicions here.
  • brilliant piece of investigative reporting, give the boy a rise. :-)

    unfortunately cub reporter hasn't managed to conceal his identity quite as well as some of the undercover heroes he claims to have outed.
  • This is rubbish. If my cub reporters were this bad they'd be in my office, pronto
  • Erm "the editor" weren't you asked to change your nickname by the real editor a while ago ?
  • Mercury, not that I know of but I'm happy to do so. But hey , what's this 'real editor' stuff? I am a real editor. I've got the badge, the comfy office, expense account, the whole nine yards.
    What would you like me to call myself?
    How about "The artist formerly known as the editor"?
  • What do you mean he asked me? Did he send me an email or ring me?
  • Who IS Paul Fishpool
  • Good point. Who the hell is Paul Fishpool? I guessed he might be rather important so I've changed my name
  • And now could I ask that 'runner' changes his name in case I confuse him or her with a 'proper runner' or 'another runner' or 'fun runner' or just 'any old runner'
    Could I suggest 'over-officious pedantic runner'?
  • Hey, easy mate
  • I think it's the time of year, no sunshine, short daylight hours and all that.

    Just be happy.
    After all we could be racoons!
  • Think youre right
  • Do they sleep all winter?
  • No, I don't think so it's just a throw back to last weekends angry "Helly Hanson ate my racoon thread."
  • runner, happy to comply, didn't see posting . . . but you do sound a bit bolshy
  • Runner, Thanks. I've now read it. No problem. Might chance it to Prince now
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