The Runner's Arms. (Forum pub.)

Womble

I blame Glugg - he's been living here the last few days.

[Deleted User]

scchhhuzzz me barman - another cherry B and keep em comin - oh and can you change a tenner for the fruit machine??

Womble

The barperson (female) seems to have sneaked off again. I'll get that for you. Sign the honesty book, won't you? 50p should do it.

Voila - double cherry B

Sweetest Thing

Okay, you lot, stop taking the p*ss. 50p for a cherry brandy - you know fine well we don't sell proletariat rubbish like that in this establishment. Only the finest wines and ales sold here!

Barmaids' running club proved to me that I am the slowest barmaid in the county, if not the country. But I can still beat a drunken punter, in case you were getting any ideas.

<ST wanders off to check the honesty book, adjusting her blouse on the way>

[Deleted User]

Thanks womble, what's the honesty book? must have missed that chat about that, how much will I have to reveal???

50p for a very out of date Cherry B is good value if you ask me.

Sweetest Thing

Popsy, is it just you and the barmaid tonight?

Help yourself to the rest of the cherry B.

<ST blows dusts off bottle and wipes it on her sleeve>

I am off to do some paperwork. Lock up when you leave.

[Deleted User]

Have I missed last orders?

Womble

Last orders? They have last orders in this pub? Hasn't 24 hour opening arrived already?

[Deleted User]

Oh thank you! Irish coffees all round!

Womble

Sluuuurrrrrpppppppppp! Oh lovely. Off to bed now. Night Glugg.

[Deleted User]

Night night (((Womble))) Its really cold under this table, has somebody left the door open?.

Womble

*slam*

[Deleted User]

A vitual pub needs a virtual barmaid
here
Cute!

Womble

Drinking on your own again, Glugg? Don't forget you're under a new table, will you?

Sweetest Thing

*slam*

<ST bursts into pub>

So, you want some silicone enhanced girlie instead of the genuine buxom barmaid Glugg?

<ST empties tray of slops over Glugg's head>

Take that!

*flounce*

<exit stage left, overacting badly>

[Deleted User]

Oops!

[Deleted User]

Sozzled Soda thinks he's stumbled into a bar room brawl.

<<walks around the wall of the lounge and sneaks up to the bar>>

"triple Irish and ice pleasshhh"

<<slides down bar and lays on floor awaiting instructions>>

Sweetest Thing

Shouldn't that be

Oops!

<Glugg wipes slops from face and grovels to buxom barmaid>
;-)

Womble

ST

*flounce* is (tm Jj)

Apparently.

Can I have an Amaretto, please? A teeny bit sozzed already.

[Deleted User]

Grovel, grovel. I was only trying to get some more drinkers in. You could always ask "virtual barmaid" for "change"!.

Sweetest Thing

Womble of course you can. Do you want some tasteful little Italian biscotti with it,or just more Amaretto?

Why you sozzled already then? Do tell!

Womble

Si, per favore, mia ST. Ancora di biscotti.

Sozzed, ermmmmmmmmmm, blame Nicko

Sweetest Thing

Sodahead, sorry for serving Womble before you. Here's your drink..

Glugg, get to the back of the queue, you are still not forgiven.

On the menu tonight:

Spaghetti Carbonara
Vegetable Cobbler
Sea bass and fresh veg

And just for Glugg...

a large portion of humble pie!

Sweetest Thing

Womble, ancora di biscotti per te.

Nicko, where are you and what have you done to our Womble? (Not that she is complaining....seems very relaxed to me)

Womble

He's asleep ;o)

Sweetest Thing

Hmm maybe I should ask what Womble has done to our Nicko?!!!

Womble

<blush>

[Deleted User]

Pint please.

Sweetest Thing

:0

<ST has to lie down in a darkened room with a damp flannel on her forehead>

[Deleted User]

Bl##dy he!!, that was strong.

I'll have another two pleaseeee

<just been reading the jokes thread>

On second thoughts another two will make me late for work







Make it another triple