At last after years of being verbally abused by “chavs”et. al on street corners, I finally came up with some sort of revenge!
On Friday evening I was a few miles into a decent run that was going well and I was really enjoying it. I was running through Bourne End when on the opposite side of the road this pikey (who was sat on a wall with his girlfriend) launched into the usual “you f*****g w****r, you f*****g queer, you f*****g loser”, his girlfriend clearly giggling with glee.
I shouted back, “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer, and a f*****g loser, but I can run faster than you and your pet pig”
At which point the girlfriend stopped giggling and said pikey threw down his cigarette and beer can and proceeded to run after me. I let him follow me for several hundred yards (needless to say with a healthy gap between me and him) and when he stopped looking slightly purple around the gills, so did I. I turned round and said “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer and a f*****g loser but I can run faster and further than you. Now get back to your pet pig before she gets lonely”
My wife thinks that I should find another route tonight!