Mills & Boon

Flipper

As I have some time on my hands I thought I would have a go at writing a Mills & Boon. I've taken a couple out of the library and had a read through so I think I know what they're after (just keep the thesaurus open on 'penis' and 'plunge')

Now, I can't guarantee it will ever get finished let alone published but I thought it would keep me out of mischief for a while and as someone with absolutely no talent for writing thought it might be a bit of fun.

Right...first things first...plot!

Hmmm...no idea...anyone?

Dr Nic Twinks

LOL I had that idea once. Thought it ought to be fairly easy. Then I actually looked up the submission criteria and it's like applying for MI5 or something. You have to prove that you've read books from all their genres (of which there are about 7), then state which your book would fit into, and why...and there are different guidelines for each genre (re: language and style, etc)

I decided against it in the end *guffaw*

Good luck!

McGoohan

"The Perils of Penelope and the Plunging Penis"

See? You're half-way there already.

Flipper

Oh good lord - is it really that difficult?

[swims off to do some investigating]

Dr Nic Twinks

Publishers are Harlequin or something similar, from memory...

McGoohan

Flipper, if you are serious, you could try your hand at a writing competition

Some of these seem to favour the Mills & Boon style.

Flipper

Thanks Dr Nic! www.millsandboon.co.uk

I quite like the idea of the 'medical romance' genre and with titles like 'The bush doctor's rescue' it sounds just up my street.

Dr Nic Twinks

"Love In The Lithotomy Position"

[Deleted User]

wouldn't that one fit in the gaenacology genre, flipper?

Flipper

LOL! You might be on to something there TD :oD

Flipper

Right, off to the library (again!) to check out the medical romance section of the mills & boon...

I may be some time!

[Deleted User]

Please can the lead man have a handsome bushy mustache and be called Kent.

He has to be a pediatrician but have a hidden passion for painting water colours. This will lead into a summer picnic / nude painting sesh with the cream for scones ending up over there naked bodies....

Hmmmm Maybe I need to calm down.

ip(FeS2)

Mills and boon plots are very simple.-

Girl meets boy, girl takes instant and irrevocable dislike to boy(he's usualy dominant and overbearing at this point ;-).- Girl suddenly and for no apparent reason finally realises that girl actually desperately loves boy.- but, again for no apparent reason cant tell boy.- Then, for no apparent reason it all gets sorted out and boy and girl live happily ever after.-

[Deleted User]

[laughs]
Not a fan of Mills & Boon then lp?

There's got to be some heaving bosoms, dripping sweat and moist lips in it somewhere ...

Greeny.

Oh, that's right, Ip, spoil the plot for everyone...

Greeny.

["heaving bosoms, dripping sweat, moist lips" - Greeny decides to take a shower]

XFR Bear

sounds like they've gone running ;o)

[Deleted User]

don't forget the tumescent members

that should bring Greeny back down to earth

[Deleted User]

why not just write a letter to Fiesta mag and get £25 or whatever it is...

[Deleted User]

or make something up about your 3 year old Niece that said something funny in Tescos and get £25 from TV Quick mag.

[Deleted User]

I wondered where on earth you were going with that one, TC....

ip(FeS2)

:-) I read quite a few of them at one point.- It's kind of like watching soaps.- Your brain can switch off and wander- very relaxing.- But yes, I've read enough of them that I actually worry when I take irrational dislikes to people.- Sad as it seems.- I've actually seen successful relationships start out that way!-)

[Deleted User]

Why not just write a book about a boy wizard and a gril wizard and a wizard school and Robbie Coltrane

[Deleted User]

Cracker investigates cult school murder?

[Deleted User]

I was thinking more as a great big fat glaswegian rocker dressed in blue singing Tuti Fruti - but most of you are probably to young to remember that

[Deleted User]

Lady falls in love with man, there is tragedy but love conquers all. The End.

McGoohan

Tutti Frutti by John Byrne: twas an excellent prog and not on the telly for yonks years.

[Deleted User]

No a Robbie Coltrane programe in the 80s called Tuttie Fruti with heim, Emma Thompson and I believe Richard Wilson

[Deleted User]

No.