What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?
A ukulele burns faster.
What is the definition of perfect pitch?
When you throw a ukulele in a refuse skip and it hits a banjo.
How do you know when a harmonica player is at the door?
He can never find the key and he comes in whenever he likes.
What's brown and sounds like a cowbell? Dung.
What is the best thing to play bongos with?
How do you keep two tambourine players in time?
Shoot one of them.