Dublin Marathon 2006

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  • Classic Tommy Cooper


    1. Two blondes walk into a building..........you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

    2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana,
    press the hash key..."

    3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
    The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

    4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
    find any.

    5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
    couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
    too high."

    6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

    7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
    "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
    can't, I've cut your arms off".

    8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

    9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
    craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak
    and heat it.

    10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with
    hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

    11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc
    says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

    12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home' "That sounds
    like Tom Jones syndrome. 'Is it common?' "It's not unusual."

    13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
    there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a
    look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks
    his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What?
    Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"

    14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my
    backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start."

    15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

    16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

    17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give
    me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for
    it.'

    18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people
    in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my Dad, or
    my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its
    Colin.

    19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other
    one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"

    20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and
    the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one
    off.

    21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They
    left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was
    nice."

    22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several
    places" The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore"

    23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small
    two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue
    workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb
    as digging continues into the night
  • I like 23 the best!!

    Thanks for complimenting my boy!! He would like to do Tri's, he's a good runner and biker too!

    Sj what's your schedule look like now that your doing another marathon in 8 weeks?
  • GFB, yep congrats to junior GFB #2 (?). How did # 1 recover from her illness. The gymnastics competition she was entering is around about now isn't it? Is there any room left in teh GFB trophy cabinet?
  • Thanks for asking Jo, the competition was last Saturday but she was just not well enough so had to leave it. She will be allowed to go to the next one because she had a sick note. She'll be up against the big guns! The girls they go up against next time in March are the girls who make up the NI Commonwealth team...so a big competition.

    But she recuperating well and back to her 15 hours a week! I wish I was so fit!
  • Sj - brilliant.
  • To address SJ's earlier question:
    Yoga postures to lengthen one's stride.

    Well, you want your leg to be comfortable in both extension and flexion (i.e. when leg is stretched back behind you, and when it's stepping out in front of you). So you'll want to lengthen/loosen both the front and back of your leg. That is a) Quads and hip flexors (including abs which also contract when you bring your legs and body towards each other...while these should be strong to protect your back, you should counter stretch them so they're supple as well) and b)hamstrings.

    Postures for quads -- Lunges, or any posture where you draw your heel up behind you towards your buttock -- listen for any feedback from the knee. No sudden moves.
    Stretching for abs -- Gentle back bending stretches out your front. Camel posture, for example. (see yogajournal.com's pose finder for details of how to perform)
    Hamstrings -- Standing forward bends. Bent knees are fine. Even easier on the back is to lie flat on floor, lifting one leg at a time towards body -- again bend knees a bit, keep shoulders and back of pelvis grounded and easy does it.

    Try to hold for 2-3 minutes and breathe evenly and deeply.

    For experts only -- full splits. Now that's a long stride. 180 degrees between the legs to be precise. After Dublin I could still do them!

    There are lots of foot/ankle things you can do, too, but too many to list here.

    Now I'm off to Cumbria for the week. Am bringing running shoes, which will probably spend entire trip resting by the fireside. But you never know...

    See you all later.

  • Hi all!

    Mr. H - I've tried sending you the photo again.

    SJ - so glad your hamstring is on the mend and that also sounds like an interesting speed session.

    GFB - way to go on your son's victory swim!

    LF - thanks for those yoga postures, I'm going to try them out as I'm not feeling PARTICULARLY flexible at the moment! This is disturbing considering I was a ballerina!

    Ace
  • Acers...just for a point of interest...there was a person in the F category in Dublin called James!! So now we have a Trevor and a James lurking!
  • Got a great yoga joke today - it's photos so I've no idea how to share it....will have to think about it.
  • Giller - go to my website and use the link to email me. Then I'll post it on the web site.

    Our web site

    Success!
  • Hi all,
    Just back from Tesco, 2 hours collecting for Poppy appeal.Tomorrow rehersal for Sundays church parade where I am carrying the Royal British Legion Standard.
    There's more to life than just running.
    Still haven't run since the Marathon. Hope to start on Monday.

    If I book a hostel room in Liverpool for the 17th/18th March would anyone (preferably female)like to share
    with me?
  • just saw the most horrible thread. Had it not been on the BBC news site I would have assumed it was just a sick joke


    BBC news
  • That is appalling.
  • Oh dear thats awful...I felt really sad for the little boy. :-(
  • Have they any idea how they are damaging that little lads body! I'm sure it will affect his normal growth.
    What does SJ think as he was running long distances at a young age.
  • HI EVERYONE!

    Just read through this thread hoping to find out how to apply for Dublin Marathon 2006.

    Seems like you're all having too much fun in going off-topic!!

    I followed the Dublin Marathon Site
    to Here . It looks like I just have to pay 55 euro's and I'm in. Is it really that simple? Or is there a ballot amongst entrants by this method.

    Any help gratefully accepted.

    Thanks






  • Thats it Bob...simple as that!! Well thats how we all did it this year!
  • Welcome BHA and the other new folk! (easy to sound like an experienced old hand in this thread...!)

    Well, teh good news is that with the input & advice from you lot (special thanks to Jo) I have drawn up a schedule for Paris in April.

    The (REALLY) bad news is that when I counted back the weeks the schedule starts on Dec 26th....

    I should have stuck to my original plan and burned them damn trainers in Ballsbridge!
  • Hi all

    I have put some more stuff on my site. Its still a work in progress and I have even more photos to put on yet

    Our web site
  • Mr Happy,

    You are doing a great job. I would like copies of some of the pics. How do I get them?
  • By the way...that yoga joke is hilarious!!!
  • Loved the yoga joke. You now how people say 'carp' on the forums so as to remain polite (as in "I had a carp run today")? I was in the newsagents today and say a whole lot of fishing magazines ...'Carp World', Carp Today' and my favourite 'Total Carp' ;)

    Anyone else doing any more marathons before the end of the year? Luton? I have an entry to the Calvia Majorca marathon on Dec 11th, but can't decide whether to do the full or the half. D'you think it's too soon? Any advice?
  • I wish I could say that I would look forward to running a Marathon so soon Sluggie. I'd be more inclined to do the half and then go for a nosh up afterwards with a few beers. Would you consider that lazy of me? I know Supergirl Pam and Shades might have a thing to say - they'd probably encourage you to do the Marathon!

    If you do the half the next day you will hardly even feel tired. - Half Marathons are easy.

    Pam - just go to the pictures you want and right click - then save as or copy and paste. - Good luck
  • I've updated with a few comments.

    Follw the Dublin Link

  • I will be going for my first post dublin run tomorrow, it is a 6 mile cross country league race. Then it will be starting my 50 (ish) week training program for Dublin.
  • Mr H, perhaps we could have countdown to the 2006 race on the web site?
  • AATB - you are joking, right?!
  • Sluggie, I'll be in Luton.
  • Amadeus, what my first run or the training?

    Jo, I am thinking of doing Luton but doing the marathon relay with my brothers.
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