I understand tracksters are no longer cool. Therefore I'm gonna give tights a try! I figure with some bulldog clips and duck tape I can hide my stomach round the back and voila! Athlete!
There's just one thing. What to stuff down the front? I've tried an electric drill but it accidently got turned on and me pubes got wound round the chuck (battery got a bit hot too!) and besides it was heavy. I found a 'Spinal Tap' style cucumber wrapped in foil was quite acceptable until I ran past an electicity sub-station. All my socks are short...and therefore not very.......impressive.
It's a problem! Can you help? Any suggestions?