Pregnant runners' club



  • Caramel - glad you've got a week away when you finish work. Shame about next week though. My boy turned up early so there is hope :-)
  • Thats sounds dreadful Caramel, I hope you can get through it OK. Really not what you need. How many weeks have you got left now?

    I was wondering whether any of you already Mums had their babies prematurely. This is the one thing that concerns me quite a bit. Not sure how we'll cope with daily trips to the hospital to see our little ones in plastic incubators. We live quite far from the hospital so this will be quite hard.
  • Mitchie Moo - My little boy was a preemie, but only just (35 weeks). He had to have a feeding tube and IV antibiotics for 5 days and was in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) for a week. It is quite scary to see them wired up etc especially when they are so tiny and helpless but the staff in there were fantastic and you are allowed to visit whenever you want, day or night. I was lucky (??!) in that they let me stay in the hospital and fortunately he could come home after a week so it never became an issue. I did get friendly with another mum who's twins were in there and had been for 8 weeks and I know that she found the daily trips exhausting. There was accommodation in the hosiptal for parents of babies in NICU, but I don't know what it was like or how easy it was to get in. They also provided free car parking which was a blessing as it cost £26 per day otherwise!!

    Why not ask your midwife service? They ought to be able to provide you with a pack of stuff relating to babies in special care.
  • Thanks Hegs. I have my first antenatal appt on the 30th, seems so late as will be 15 weeks by then! So hopefully this will clear up a lot of my questions. They thought I was much less then this and this was the first appt they had, seems bizarre, how are they going to fit in the rest of my appts if my first appt is 3 weeks later than it should have been! I am hoping I will then get a midwife I can contact with questions as currently relying on friends and books and my GP.

    I think as long as we are prepared this will be OK, it is a worry though.
  • Agree with Hegs - your midwife should be able to give you lots of info about the situation in your area re spaces in NICU, arrangements for parents etc.. Also - there is a Twins Club in our area - might be worth seeing if there is something similar - the midwives/health visitors might know of something and put you in touch with people who have been in the situation you are.

  • Mitchie Moo - I think that the MW appointment is generally around that time. With both my pregnancies I have been see for the 1st time around 15/16 weeks.

    Mrs T - I am aiming to work up to about 2 weeks before the birth. It is what I did last time and even that seemed like an age. I am not good at doing nothing!! Also as I am self employed it means more earnings before I finish and more time off after.

    With the work I am doing for the client it should be just sorting out loose ends which can mostly be done at home.

    I am feeling a lot more agile than last time. Unsure why? Perhaps it is because I have not swelled up like a balloon this time......yet :-)

  • Should survive up to my 2 weeks left!! Am feeling good today although yesterday was pain day for me. Hoping full term birth as small person myself.

    Got my 36 weeks midwife tomorrow so looking forward to hearing heartbeat but also more blood tests. Raining here so trying to stay late and catch a train from Waterloo later.

    No hols for me now for at least a few years. Need the money so need to save and spend all on child. looking forward to the big changes though!!!
  • mitchie moo - i finish on 2 june, so i have exactly 11 working days left (because of the bank holiday)! the bid i'm working on has turned into a COMPLETE nightmare - as they all do. i should NEVER have agreed to do a bid at this stage. it's due in on 2 june, which is the day i finish, and i just know we'll be working throughout the night on 1/2 june to get it finished and printed and bound and i will be hanging around trying to spot the courier arriving to take it away!

    still, at least i'm not bored :-)

    re: delivering early. you *may* well find that you manage to hang in there and that the babies don't end up in incubators. the lady on my antenatal class had a 4lb6oz baby at 36 weeks (she was miniscule herself) and her baby was 'over' the minimum weight for special care and was allowed home almost immediately. i was gobsmacked! when she brought her into class 10 days after she was born, she had just got back up to her birthweight and was absolutely titchy still!

    it used to be routine that all early babies went into incubators (i was 4 weeks early and weighed 5.5lb and i was in one and my mum doesn't actually remember there being anything wrong with me!), but they don't do that these days unless there's a good reason. obviously, if the babies are very early or if there are feeding / breathing problems, they will need special care, but if you do manage to hang in there until 36 or 37 weeks, you may find that it's not the incubator-type scenario that you dread!
  • Hello and thank you to Carmel for pointing out this thread. I do not get to be on-line often as husband takes over the computer for his work.
    I have just have my third baby, 11 weeks old and have a two and a half year old and four and half year old. I think you are right carmel I may just be knackered. I'v hading weddings children's parties, and am now preparing for a Christening! It is a struggle to get out running and my legs are dead, but I do enjoy the head space and getting out even if I am walking the Devon hills at the moment. I was going to enter a 10k in June but not sure any more. I am very slow (always was on the slow side) but with a stone and a half heavier my poor legs!

    On the clothes front it is even harder after the baby is born beacuse none of your old clothes fit and I never want to be in maternity gear again.

    Good to join you. Marika x
  • CongratulationsAmericano. I ran till 35 weeks but very slowly and only at the gym in the end, it was easy then to stop and handy for the toilet! Listen to your body it will tell you when to rest.

    Mrs O keep positive my first daughter was I.U.I after two years of fertility treatment, my second was I.V.F after a year and my third is a mirical. I got pregnant and was running so kept running.
  • Thanks, meekie, not sure if you've read through the whole thread yet, but i am actually pregnant now, 19 weeks gone. I was on clomid for nearly 2 years with absolutely no sign of ovulation. Then i got tried on this new-ish treatment, FSH injections to make me ovulate, it worked and we managed to get pregnant au natrel on the third cycle using these injections to make me ovulate.
    By the way, very impressed that you managed to run until 35 weeks, i had to give up at only 17 weeks as was finding all the bouncing on my bladder etc sooo uncomfortable, sore almost. However am still managing to hill-walk (which will give my heart and lungs a good work out) and just got myself a swim costume to start swimming.
  • meekie - welcome to the board. i'm sure you will get some advice from people other than me, but i think you may well find that the reason you are struggling a bit with running now is that you are just plain exhausted!!! keep plugging away at it if you are still enjoying it, but don't push yourself as it sounds as though you have such a lot on your plate! perhaps try doing a walk/run strategy with planned walk breaks after a minute or a few minutes and build up gradually again. that can be less demoralising than having to stop and walk because you are too puffed to carry on running.

    whereabouts in devon are you? i was born in exeter and grew up in plymouth (although now live in s. wales), so i know all about the south devon hills!

  • Welcome meekie, many exhausted people on this thread so you may find thats the problem like DCM says. Very impressed on your running. I haven't even tried, due to dreadful sickness and exhaustion, and starting to walk and swim though, and hope to start my pilates again. Find it very bizarre that have gone from sub-3 marathon runner to wibbling wreck!

    Thanks for all your help with preemie advice. We will be in a better situation if we're prepared for it, better than it being unexpected. Start of 14th week, it feels more real now for sure. Hopefully 2-3 weeks I'll get rid of this damn sickness too. Had a very bad night last night, poor hubbie will be very good at clearing up mess for when we have puking children!
  • Had my first visit to the midwife this morning - mostly form filling, but I have my very own sample pot now! How lovely.

    And lots of reading materials. Hubbie came along with me, and we both had a fit of the giggles when she asked if anyone in our families had learning difficulties - childish I know, and I apologise to anyone that has a friend or relative with that problem, but it get's so tempting to make a joke of it.

    But scan should be booked for the next couple of weeks, so will have a more accurate date then. I don't believe the one they're giving me now - I think it will be earlier as I only have a 23 day cycle. But they seem to be ignoring that at the moment.
  • lozf - my cycle is about 24-5 days and my EDD from the scan was about 4 days earlier than the EDD from the date of my last period so you may find it changes. very important to make sure that you get the earliest possible EDD because, if you go overdue, they will induce you 2 weeks after your EDD and at that stage i think every single day makes a LOT of difference! ;-)

    i've just had a bit of a shock. i've just done a handover of some of my work to another consultant who is the same band as me at work, and she told me that she has been refused permission to work part-time (her husband has asbestosis) because of her band. she would have to go back down a band if she wanted to go part-time. the other part-time consultants are also all the band below me and apparently have not taken promotions because they would lose the right to work part-time!

    i cannot believe this because a) i thought there had to be a VERY good reason for not allowing people to work flexible hours (and i don't know what the reason actually is that they give!), and b) my company was actually founded in the 1960s specifically for women who wanted to come back to work after they had had kids. it's changed a LOT since then and merged/acquired etc, but there are still a number of the original employees in senior positions in the board and i would have expected them to be more enlightened! the main reason why i took this job was that i *thought* they would be accommodating towards working part-time!!

    if this is true (and i've mailed my boss to find out), we have a major problem because if i go back to work full-time, it means me being away all week (potentially) and means that hubby will have to do all the nursery runs. he also has a high-profile job and manages about 180 staff so is highly unlikely to be able to go part-time either in his current role, and he will also find it hard to restrict his working hours to 8.30 to 5.30 every day because of the nursery run. and he needs to work away from home sometimes too, which was going to be ok if i was part-time because he always has enough notice of being away for me to have been able to arrange something with work. but if i'm full-time, i won't be around at all in the week.

    ARGH!! i know this is a long way ahead, but i cannot believe that i have just found this out.

    i'm shocked!
  • WIth regards to part time, employees are supposed to give due dillgence to any requests. They need to have explored this thoroughly and provide clear feedback as to why it cannot be accomodated.

    To say that an employee would need to be demoted would need a very clear justification indeed!!

    The challenge is that the law does not require companies to honour requests, only to give due consideration. However in the interests of retaining & attracting talent, most progressive organisations are offering realistic solutions/policies as female talent vote with their feet!!

    I do feel for you. I was lucky that when i returned after Sadie, my company had felxible working policies that enabled me to go in early and leave early and work from home.

    I hope you can negotiaite something that works for you.
  • clare - the more i think about it, the more shocked i am! particularly because my company used to be women only, and women who had returned to work after having children. ok - so that was 30 years ago, and they have diversified a lot in the last 20 years, but it's only in the last 5 years that men have actually outnumbered women in the company. i can't believe what i've been told today!

    i'm sure they will justify it by saying that the 'industry involvement' which is required in my job is just not sustainable if you are part-time. and i'm sure that other people will have contested it in the past and lost.

    i just can't believe that no-one has mentioned it until i have just 2 weeks left at work, and then it's only been mentioned to me by a fellow consultant. and during my review with my boss *she* specifically mentioned me coming back part-time (although she didn't say i'd have to be demoted if i wanted to do that!)

    i feel really let down.

    and yet i'm still here at work waiting for someone to review the last set of figures i've produced so that i can submit them for the consolidated review tomorrow morning.


    i just called hubby (who is also still at work!) and he said it's fine. he'll just give up work and i can work full-time because he's so fed up with his job! ;-)

    i know we'll work something out, but i feel like i've just had the rug pulled from under my feet...
  • Hi Caramel

    Have you thought about getting a nanny or mothers help. Perhaps to do the nursery runs or stay with baby until you or hubbie gets back from work. I can imagine how annoyed you must feel. Butalways worth exploring other options as well. ..
  • Oh DCM. I can really understand how cross you are. This is a real hot button for me, I have seen so much wasted talent in my career.

    If it is not too stressful for you now, can you raise this with your manager and explore any concerns or ways you can manage things on your return. Then at least you know what you are dealing with. I have had many female colleagues find it distressing & stressful trying to resolve these issues on their return.

    My hubby gave up work to look after Sadie once my mat leave was over. He was a great house husband (better than me ;-)and it was great for them to spend time together too.
  • DCM, sorry to hear about this, hopefully your boss can sort it out soon.

    Can i change the subject ?? I'm worried now that i'm not putting any weight on. Put on about a stone in the first 12 weeks, then maybe another couple of pounds to week 15/16 and since then i've stayed the same weight (will be 20 weeks on sunday), should i worry about this, i thought we were supposed to put on about 1 -2 lbs per week at this stage. My belly is definetly growing and looking more pregnant all the time, but have put no weight on in the past 4 to 5 weeks. I know i am eating plenty, probably too much sometimes i think, but maybe not if i'm not putting on weight.
  • thanks ladies.

    i've had a sleepless night over this, and hubby didn't sleep either (although i think that was due to the noise of the wind outside and worrying about a mistake he'd made a work rather than anything else!)

    tonia - we could try and do the nanny thing, but i don't really feel comfortable in myself with the idea of the poor child being farmed off on a succession of people throughout the day/evening! i'd struggle with my own conscience thinking i'd had a child and then it was in nursery all day and with a nanny or someone else all evening until my husband got home.

    that also doesn't get round the problem of what happens when we BOTH have to go away with work at the same time - which happens rarely but does happen!

    clare - i have mailed my boss to ask her what the score is with working part-time, and i think i'm going to have to try and pursue it because i think she will be less than helpful.

    hubby and i explored various options last night - and none of them is satisfactory. i know that i won't know how i feel about going back to work until i have had the baby but to have the option of going back part-time effectively ruled out (unless i want to be demoted and take a pay and benefits cut) really makes that much harder.

    and because i earn about 30% more than my husband and have longer term better career prospects than him (unless of course i go part-time!), it really is now looking like a no brainer about who goes back full-time. the problem with that is that my job requires me to be completely mobile and potentially to work away mon-fri every week, which puts him in the unenviable position of having to do 100% of the child minding during the week when the child is not at nursery and i just don't think that's fair...

    and i don't quite earn enough to support both of us comfortably (we would manage but it would not be fantastic), so hubby *would* still need to work even if i was full-time.

    i feel like i've now got a huge black cloud over my head and i'm pretty sure my company will just tell me that they can't make any decisions now and we will have to wait until i want to come back before they can give me any options because it will depend on what is available at the time in terms of assignments.

    i've got a midwife's appointment today. all i need is for her to tell me that the baby is breach and i will probably dissolve into a big mess!
  • ((Caramel)) - I know it's hard, but don't let it stress you out too much at this stage - you don't want to end up with high blood pressure.

    As Clare says, unfortunately all that the company are legally obliged to do is give due consideration to your request - this just happened to a colleague of mine - she wanted to work full time, but on a flexible hours basis (she works on a global support desk so wanted to do early shifts). They said no since they "didn't want to set a precedent", but I think it was pretty flimsy quite frankly!! I have been reeeeeally lucky as my boss and I have a completely informal arrangement by which I work 7.30am to 4pm and then when my diary allows, I also work from home. It is brilliant and I am beginning to appreciate it more and more when I hear stories like this!

    It may well be easier to manage once you are actually back in the job? But as Clare says, if it is going to stress you out not knowing, then try and get some assurances from your manager now.

    What a rotten thing to happen at this stage! Poor you.
    Hegs x
  • mrs o - i wouldn't worry about the weight gain too much. by 20 weeks, i had only put on 4lbs. by 25 weeks, i'd put on 10lbs! i have NO idea how much i have put on now. i've stopped weighing myself because i find it too depressing!

    if you are worried about it, ask your midwife at your next appointment, but the weight gain calculators and things you find on the web are very generic and your rate of weight gain will not be standard.

    you don't need any more calories in the first or second trimester apparently, so you don't need to eat anymore now than you did before you were pregnant, if you believe what you read!
  • Thanks for that Caramel, it was really nice of you to reply to my trivial worries when you're having such big worries. I often feel a bit guilty posting my silly wee worries when other folk have much more important things to worry about. Will keep everything crossed for you and hopefully your situation will be sorted out soon. Really bad of your company not to have thought of this or asked you your intentions about part time working ages ago.
  • Think my earlier post got delayed in appearing - serves me right for writing an essay ;o)

    mrs o - I lost weight in the last trimester - seems to be no rhyme nor reason to it, and as long as your bump keeps growing at the right rate I wouldn't worry overly. So much to worry about though!!

    In spite of all of my BP problems, and the fact that at 34 weeks my bump only measured 28cm, my baby still managed to weigh in at 5lbs 12oz, so I think it's pretty much impossible to have a "standard" rule for everyone.

    My mum put on 1 stone with me and only 8lbs when she had my sister - admittedly she was a little bit overweight when she got pregnant, but my sister weighed 7lbs 4oz at birth, so my mum effectively lost weight during the her pregnancy.....
  • mrs o - don't worry. i was taking over the thread with my woes and worries, and your question is every bit as valid as my moan...

    i've decided to Stop Worrying About It for the time being as i cannot second guess what will happen, and at the end of the day, we will not starve or be homeless, and our little lad will be loved and treasured (well, at least that's the plan). it seems like a big deal right now, but i know that we will sort something out. and at least i now have 7 months to get used to the idea that i will not be able to return to my current job part-time!

    anyway, just to see what it felt like, i trotted 200m on the treadmill the other night. (was walking quickly on a steep incline for 45 mins which is not a problem, but haven't run since week 26).

    i don't know how it happened but i definitely now have somebody else's legs. the legs that i was trying to run on for those 200m were NOT MINE.

    oh what fun i'm going to have when i try to get back to it afterwards ;-)
  • DCM - I had to return to work full time as my I as I earn & my prospects to earn more are significantly higher than my husbands (even though he is very clever!!)

    I suppose as I always knew I would be going back full time it was just a question of trying to secure as much flexibilty as I could.

    I think what ever you decide to do, the important thing is not to beat yourself up about. I love my daughter to bits and spend as much time with her as I can, but also see my role to provide a roof over our heads and pay the bills.

    It is true you will not know how you feel until you go back. Although a transistion, I am a very active career minded person and found it good to get back in the thrust of it. I do now set my own agenda a lot more and say no. Also this drove my decision to work for myself.

    Sadie went to a fantastic child minder at a year (my own preference I know - but I found child minding great and more like a home environment) and hubby went back to work for a while.

    We now face the dilemma of with two in childcare when the new baby arrives, is it worth hubby going back again?? It looks likely that he will finish after my 6 months and be with them til preschool. Otherwise it will be like herding cats trying to get us all out the door in the morning!! We think we will scarifce some cash for some stability.

    Hard choices I know.

    Mrs 0 - I have gone through peaks and troughs withe weight gain. Lost some and gained more and had weeks where I have gained none. As long as baby is growing well...we are all different x
  • Sorry about the news at work caramel - hope that you get some positive news from your organisation before you go on maternity leave.
  • thanks sian!

    just back from midwife. a different one again this time, so that's about 6 different midwives i've seen so far!

    anyway, she was really vague again, and after she said that the baby was head down but head not engaged yet, i asked her whether it was definitely not breach, and she then said she wasn't 100% sure and wouldn't swear on it, so if it was like this at 37 weeks, i'd have to go for a scan to check.

    ARGH!! i wish i hadn't asked now. but there was something in the tone of her voice which made me think she wasn't certain.

    my bump has caught up a bit though and is now bang slap in the middle of where it should be.

    but i'm fed up again now, because i have this nagging feeling that the baby is still breach (even though the GP and last midwife said it was head down, and this one seemed to think it was)...
  • Caramel

    It might be an idea to prepare for a meeting with your manager to sort out the issues that they have with you working part time. Think of the excuses that they may give as to why you can't and put forward a way around it, or an idea of how it could work.

    I don't know what you do for a living, but you could maybe show a schedule of a typical part-time week, and how you would plan your work for that week. Show them that it could work, and highlight the positives - you're very experienced, unlikely to leave the company if you can get to work part time, you know the clients well and they like working with you etc. You could also say 'well of course if I can't go part time here, I may have to consider alternative employement'. If you are good at your job (which I suspect you are) they will do anything to keep you, even on a part time basis. You'll have to fight, but I think if you can answer all their concerns they can't refuse you.

    Keep calm - it's always best, and be calculating. They won't expect you to be prepared for what they will come up with, so blow their socks off. And if the worst comes to the worst, you can always get another job.
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