• Back from shops and its snowing again! Funny looking snow, a bit like polystyrene.

    JD: Mr FF is aware of plans to give up booze. What you were saying about friendships being built around drinking...I met Mr FF at a golf club, and our relationship was built around smoking and drinking etc. I'm wondering if (partly the reason I gave up smoking too)there is anything else to it. Been a bit afraid to find out to be honest, but, well, we'll see. You never know.

    Green tea and grapes, mmmmmmm.
  • green tea=yuck.

    see you all monday!!

    have a good alcohol free weekend!

  • Have a good one Laura xx
  • Have a good one Laura

    FF: I don't know but I'd try not to be too hard on him to start with especially if he's going to be drinking while your not. I went out for dinner on Saturday and started getting pissed off at about 10:30 aseveryone began to make no sense at all. I wasn't fed up with them - I just wanted to do something else a bit more interesting and I was limited with options.

    Maybe all I'm trying to say is that it all looks different in other peoples eyes and that my boredom could have been seen as grumpy or spoil sport (ish)

    Anyway waffle over
  • No JD, I understand completely! My other attempts at not drinking have been scuppered because I've felt as if I'm being grumpy because when you're sober, you find drunk people irritating (funny for a bit, but then irritating). I've ended up drinking with them rather than be considered grumpy.

    And I'm never too hard on anyone .... probably a fault more than an attribute though.
  • Hello! This has all been very interesting. For what it's worth, I gave up drinking 7 months ago and now love my sober state. The thing about friends is odd sometimes and scary at others. A bloke at work who I used to go drinking with quite a lot now tells me I've lost my sense of humour - I haven't (I don't think) but I don't go out with him very often now. So we're not as close.

    However, my other half is much happier about the situation. She's much more able to do moderation than me which I greatly admire but can't do. I look back and all the things she's ever been cross with me about were caused by my drinking.

    And I really love being able to run further, walk more, I'm happier, do more at work, more at home. So good luck to anyone trying it. Yes, it can be hard but the rewards are there too.
  • Hi Stepford Wife and welcome

    I'm glad your joining our wagon - the sense of humour thing is very true and even harder to prove you haven't lost it by arguing about it.

    I was always quite a happy 'drunk' and friends were horrified thinking I would become boring. From my point of veiw there were just less embarrasing stories with me involved.

    And as you say - all the possitive bits too
  • FF - -don't start being hard on him now - the football's just about to start
  • Morning all.

    JD and FF, I'm with you there. I think I mentioned a while ago that I went to speak to an old tutor shorty after I gave up and he said a lot of things that were useful. Two observations from him on going out as a non-drinker: 1)there's only so much orange juice you can drink, and 2)you soon get bored of hearing the same people tell the same stories and the same jokes that weren't particularly funny to begin with. He's absolutely right. I initially went out a lot with the same people I went out with when I still drank, but I found it deadly boring. I found it frustrating feeling as if I was the only one not involved.

    On an unrelated note, I've discovered that swimming uses all sorts of muscles that running doesn't. Ow!



    Fly free, Andrew.
  • How far did you swim and which muscles are hurting?

    Fly free, Andrew?
  • Not very far and principally the ones around my hips. It seems I'm less of a flexible friend than I used to be.
  • Hips? I don't think I even have muscles there!

    What's the 'fly free, Andrew' ?
  • The cramp was probably due to the knee bandage - I used to get the same thing
  • JD: I assumed the Andrew thing was the name of his colleague who passed away?? Bunbury??


    Stepford Wife: Perhaps you could talk to me alchy hubby because the ONLY thing I get cross with him at is HIS drinking. The thing is, that stretches into wasting money, not going out anywhere, him never driving anywhere, getting snappy at the kids, but if I trace any of our problems back it goes back to the drinking everytime and its such a shame because he truly does have some wonderful positives. He is not a happy drunk. The more he drinks, the more miserable he gets! He is a lot livlier and happier sober!

    Bunbury: I really don't enjoy swimming, I find it really boring! I did Circuits the other week though and that had me in PAIN for 3-4 days....I'm not going back there!

    9 Year old son off school today 'Teacher Training', so he cycled beside me on my run this morning with the Navman on his handlebars keeping me at 7-8 min miles. Had a lovely morning! did 7.5 miles and I he wants to come again next time ....bonding moments:)
  • Sorry - feel a bit insensitive now.

    Sounds like a fantastic morning - I think I'm jealous <has a quick look> yes I'm jealous
  • Awwwww! You can come too hun cos he's scared to cycle down hill so we had to walk down those. You could have given him a ride on the back of the bike!

  • I'm not very good down hill either - broke a rib as I went over the handle bars of my mountain bike. I'm more likely to convince him walking is a better option.

    Is he up for the full 26 miles? can he be trusted with the secret?
  • Well, he's now snuggled up on the sofa watching Watership Down and looking a bit 'zorstid' so think 26 miles is pushing it at the moment. No he can't be trusted with a secret AT ALL! But then it's no real secret, I told hubby I wanted to run a marathon, he told me that he would take the kids and leave me if I did....I'm training, kids are still here and I'm still cooking his dinners.

  • Yes, you're right, FF. It's on there by way of a signature - sorry for being obscure.

    I'll cycle down your hills. :) I used to live in Cambridge, I have no fear....

    I found the little bit of swimming that I did a bit repetitive, actually. I can see boredom becoming a problem in future, although I'm not the world's greatest water baby, so I have the added interest of trying not to drown.

    JD: I wasn't sure I had muscles there either, but something hurts! Actually, a lot of me hurts. Ho hum. Thanks for the advice on the cramp: I'll have to try and strike a happy balance between support for my damaged ligament and a functioning calf muscle.

    Oh, and WELL DONE FF! Have a jammie dodger to celebrate. You've got the first day out of the way, so you know you can do it. It's all downhill from here (cycling or walking).



    Fly free, Andrew.
  • Oh, on the subject of pigeon-chested archaeologists: I had some muscles when I was digging for a living, but I mislaid them. I think I must have left them in the site hut.
  • Kids these days, no sense of adventure. Yes I spent a good few trips to casualty by the time I was his age but I had fun getting there!

    He was totally terrified by even the mildest hill!! When we came across a huge muddy puddle he was trying to creep around it, so I had to force him to take a run up with his bike and fly through it throwing mud all the way up his back! About time that bike got muddy .... I had fun anyhow! :)
  • Attach some brakes to his bike - it might make him more confident
  • Might cut down on how frequently I have to buy him new trainers too!

    pmsl! actually you might have a point!
    <runs out to check brakes>
    Yep,the back ones donald ducked!
  • Is that because he's using his feet to slow himself down?

    Damaged ligament sounds painful Bunbury - what's the doc said?
  • Nothing, for quite a while... I got the injury over four years ago (stepped in a rabbit hole and came gracefully to earth) and it was prodded by a couple of people, to no real effect. I didn't get a proper diagnosis at the time. However, I have a medical friend, who recently manhandled me and diagnosed it as a weak posterior cruciate. She's advised me to strap it and apparently there's not much else I can do. Part of my reason for joining the gym is to work on strengthening the muscles around it. If I had any sense I wouldn't be running on it, I suspect, but I'm too stubborn for my own good.
  • FF - it would have to come from your hubby really. If he knows somewhere inside that it makes you unhappy then I guess there's hope. I knew something had to shift when I was trying to disguise how much wine I had had and congratulating myself when she didn't realise that I'd had a full bottle. Stupid. But she never really said all that much about it - not her style.

    Brakes - great things!
  • Thanks SW. I take the bottles to the bottle bank once a week. I think he started getting rid of a few himself (where I work 3 nights, he's free to get up to what he likes, not that my being home stops him). I actually said, 'are you drinking less darling or just hiding some of the bottles?'. He just ignored me.

    It's not my style to say anything really, the above was one of the bravest comments I've made. He must know how much it upsets me, in fact I'm sure he does. Then I think, is it fair to just up and leave without giving him a chance to do something about it. Can I ask him to give it up before I have. I'm hoping going tea total will bump his conscience into doing something .... maybe even sorting the brakes out on sons bike :)

    Gosh, heavy moment there!

    Buns: Its difficult to not run .... erm, 'thats about all I have to say about that' (Forrest Gump I believe)
  • You've scared everone off FF (only joking)

    It's tough but SW is right -hubby has to decide for himself whether that's because it's making you so unhappy or because he realises he has a problem with drink (even if that's just the money he spends on it)

    Hope all is O.K. tonight - I'm still working - trying to rectify a massive b@llock I dropped earlier.

    Infact if I wasn't thinking about your poor kids bike it wouldn't have been dropped in the first place. QED it's your fault - and if not yours it's your childs fault. - or infact Mr FF for not mending the bike - that's it I'm calling round in the morning to mend that Bl@@dy thing!!
  • Mmm, I remember the bottle bank thing - far too many. Then they got collected from the doorstep and it would take two of us to get the container to the door. It's just not funny after a while.

    I don't think either of us really realised how much it affected us until I stopped. I don't know now, it's hard to remember but I know that I'd spend time each night that I was drinking (most of them) feeling guilty about doing it, feeling bad about going to bed early and passing out rather than going to sleep and things. We certainly talk a lot more in bed now before we go to sleep which is good.

    We've just come back in from a charity event at her work. We won a prize which I hoped was going to be nice food - cheese, salmon etc. For some reason, someone high up vetoed this and we got a bottle of wine instead. Once I'd've been so pleased and would've broken into the thing and have drunk it before we got back. Tonight I was really pi55ed off! It's stragne how your perspective shifts like with the sense of humour and the boring stories your drunken mates tell. Anyway, this is gettign heavy again so I'm off for a natter in bed! Good night all.
  • Morning all.

    Am I (an occasional visitor only) allowed to say: Welcome SW!

    All well here. Day 41, and have stopped thinking about having a glass of wine at the 6pm crunch moment.

    Love waking up with a clear head every morning. Love knowing I am always safe to drive the car if anyone needs me. Love the money I'm saving. Love being in control, for the first time in years.

    Hope you all have a good day.

    Sass xx
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