'Mature' runners.



  • Yes but I work undercover as "I Ronnie", thought it was funny at the time as it appeared to encapsulate all that Billows was lacking.
  • Turn it down WeeP, can't hear myself type!
  • Don't play the other one, I'll cry...
  • Ah yes, just popped over there and saw your contribution. They aren't playing though are they?
  • DB - have you been using "Your Watches" over there? Makes it much easier to keep track of threads.

    HW - it's easy to see where we've been, as long as you know the usernames.

    Click here to get to their equivalent of the General Forum. Then click on the link to "Search Forum". Enter the name of the person you're looking for in the "Posted by Username" box and Bob's your uncle! NB: it's case sensitive.

    Hey, you've got all the words to Sandra Dee! I'm listening to it now :)

    trot trot squeal!!!
  • Goodnight all!
  • Night DB
  • Night DavidB - sleep well :)
  • Yes, the other one is a little maudlin, as my mother would say :)
  • btwm I tried the 'watch' thingy over there, but it doesn't seem to do anything.
  • I think what it does is to draw together all the threads that the forumite is watching, so that they don't have to search all ove for them. I've clicked "Watch this Topic" for each of the "English" threads, and now when I want to go and see if there's been anything new I just click on "Your Watches" (near the top right) and it puts up a little box underneath with links to each of the relevant threads. Saves me searching round all the forums.

    I think it's possible to set them for email notification too, but I've not done that as I remember what chaos it caused here with the UK forum (a billion messages overnight :-)
  • Hmm, I remember doing something like that with FFF club, 238 messages before lunch one morning
  • I see that it's now 22 hours since anyone over there replied to my hilarious (well, I think so) joke :-) Only 2 people replied... Didn't we have a couple of enormously long joke threads here?

    Hey, did you hear my joke??

    Q: What stands in a field and goes "oooh"?

    A: A cow with no lips

  • Uh-oh... I see that I was one of the two people who replied to my own joke!

    Ah, well :)
  • Piglet, sorry I've been checking out all the threads, not as quickly as you. I laughed out lous when I read your joke yesterday, it's very funny. Got any more?
  • Hee hee! It's a great joke :)

    My others aren't as funny as that one :) However, hang on and I'll dig a couple out :)

    Right, just been rifling through the files. I like this one :-)
    A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. The
    first is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. He starts on this
    when suddenly a huge fish leaps out and bites him. He is not going to
    let a fish have a go so he beats the offending fish to death with a

    Realising that his boss is not going to be best pleased, he tries to
    find a way to hide the dead fish. He hits on the brilliant idea of
    giving the fish to the lions as lions will eat anything. So he throws
    the fish into the lion's cage, and sure enough it'd devoured by the

    He then moves on to his second job, which is to clear out the monkey
    house. He goes in and a couple of chimps start throwing coconuts at
    him. Un-amused he swipes at the chimps with his spade, killing them

    He's really worried now, so what does he do? He feeds the chimps to
    the lions, because lions eat anything. He hurls them into the lion's

    Anyway, he moves on to his last job, which is to collect honey from
    South American bees. He starts on this and quickly gets attacked by
    the bees. Alarmed, he grabs his spade and smashes the bees as hard as
    he can, squashing them to death. By this point he is not too worried
    about the death of bees as He knows what to do by now. He throws them
    into the lion's cage, because lions eat anything.

    Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. It wanders up to another
    lion and says "What's the food like in here?" The other lion says:

    wait for it....

    "Absolutely brilliant, today we had Fish 'n Chimps with Mushy Bees"
  • And here's one for the blokes!

    The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
    checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three
    finalists... two men and a woman.

    For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
    metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow
    instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
    Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill
    The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
    The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your
    wife and go home."

    The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
    went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man
    came out with tears in his
    eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
    The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go

    Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
    to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.
    Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming,
    crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.
    The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.
    She wiped the sweat from her brow. "This gun is loaded with blanks",
    she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

    Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them.
  • The first one should worry chimp, the second one made me laugh :-)
  • Howdy...I think I prefer your jokes to your poetry....but only just!
    That first 1 is great

    I have a headache...that comes from re hydrating after a run with beer....hehehe
  • Headache, I thought you were male?
  • Perhaps I should have kept on drinking :-)

    This would all make so much more sense!
  • Beer = carbs = good - no?
  • Beer
    if only

    Enforced detox, and again on Monday and tuesday

    is it just me,or am i doing a lot of on call
  • On call?
  • You know, when I have to stay at the hospital, and adnmit patients, or saty at home and provide specialist advice, or go in a t 3 am
  • Sorry hippo, more brain fade, not a good day for the bit between my ears
  • Morning all!!

    Off to Wetherby races today. What do we reckon? Piece of Cake??

    Happy tr**ning all!
  • Cake? No - go for the roast beef and mustard Branningans.

    Good racing, Chimpy :)
  • Just got this from my mate in the States.

    In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You
    do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too. When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who
    are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. Yup...gonna be a bear.

  • Hey Chimp,

    Good luck with your race. What's the weather or running condition? I noticed England made the news with the snowfall. I am running this morning, but perfect weather. Mid-thirties, clear and calm. Have a nice weekend. Run strong! Have fun!
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