'Mature' runners.



  • Yeh, JJ, but what about the damn spot?
    Helen W, if you're about, I'd love to hear how your visit to Ron the Pod went...
  • Hi JJ - are you telepathic in saying 'us virgos' as I'm one of those (virgos I mean of course). My running times are also remarkably similar to yours.

    OMG I'm a clone. Or he's my dad...
  • No. I'm one too.
  • Did that come under "Any other biscuits"?
  • JJ - but runners will hesitate to eat the sugar and biccies.

    I, on the other hand, will not, as I am a little piglet.

    Therefore, please send all prize sugar and biccies to me :)

  • <<<piglet squeals in alarm!>>>

    Oh, JJ <tremble>..... I don't like that p...p....po..... nasty word.

    <piglet turns tail and trots away, crying>

    trot trot trot
    trot trot trot
    trot trot trot


    <sound of distant snuffling>


  • JJ

    As an older runner I would have thought you'd recognise me from when you had to watch tv in the 60's with your brood. Arch enemy of that do-gooding bunch the Tracy gang. Able to control folk with an evil stare and 300000 pages of HR training recommendations as provided by my new disiciple.

    Piglet come back, no-one really eats P**** S*****ings, they just talk about them and spit out bits of their teeth. Don't worry - just concentrate on having a good chew on the action pig, or whatever else you want to do to/with him
  • <sniffle, snuffle>

    <piglet wipes snout on JJ's sleeve>

    Ok, then! I'm back!!! Hehe hehehehehe <hic>...

    Meerkat - many thanks for the Action Pig wrapped in the HH Wicking Undies: a v. cunning ploy indeed :)

    <munch munch>

    The Action Pig tastes great, but the HH Wicking Undies are a little bit stringy.

    Right, I'm off to relax in the trough with a good book :)
  • Here you go, JJ.

    <piglet profers trotter draped with little bits of semi masticated wicking undies>

    Enjoy :-)

    No, really! You're welcome :-)
  • JJ whereabouts did you do your swinging in the 60's.
  • sfh, I remember you. There was anaccompaniment everywhere you went, an assistant who used to say, "Eeeet will be a greaaaat disaaaaaster" And, of course, it was. I had a crush on Scott. Can you believe it - on a puppet??????
  • Hey, they've been writing poems on the fat thread. Why dont we do something cultural like that??

    Not me obviously. I'm an eejit but wee piglet and Helen Wheels look creative, windswept and interesting types.

    Reckon Meerkat could rustle up a haiku or two as well.

    Now how does it go?

    "I wondered lonely as a runner....."
  • wandered even! (ahem!)
    Marriott Edgar


    There's a famous seaside town called Blackpool,
    That's noted for fresh air and fun,
    And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
    Went there with young Albert, their son.

    -= o =-

    A grand little lad was young Albert
    All dressed in his best; quite a swell
    With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle
    The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

    -= o =-

    They didn't think much to the Ocean
    The waves, they were fiddlin' and small
    There was no wrecks and nobody drownded
    Fact, nothing to laugh at, at all.

    -= o =-

    So, seeking for further amusement
    They paid and went to the zoo
    Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
    And old ale and sandwiches too.

    -= o =-

    There were one great big lion called Wallace
    His nose were all covered with scars
    He lay in a somnolent posture
    With the side of his face on the bars.

    -= o =-

    Now Albert had heard about lions
    How they was ferocious and wild
    To see Wallace lying so peaceful
    Well, it didn't seem right to the child.

    -= o =-

    So straight 'way the brave little feller
    Not showing a morsel of fear
    Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle
    And shoved it in Wallace's ear.

    -= o =-

    You could see the lion didn't like it
    For giving a kind of a roll
    He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
    And swallowed the little lad 'ole

    -= o =-

    Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence
    And didn't know what to do next
    Said "Mother! Yon lions 'et Albert"
    And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!"

    -= o =-

    Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
    Quite rightly, when all's said and done
    Complained to the Animal Keeper
    That the lion had eaten their son.

    -= o =-

    The keeper was quite nice about it
    He said "What a nasty mishap
    Are you sure it's your boy he's eaten?"
    Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!"

    -= o =-

    The manager had to be sent for
    He came and he said "What's to do?"
    Pa said "Yon lion's 'et Albert
    And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."

    -= o =-

    Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller
    I think it's a shame and a sin
    For a lion to go and eat Albert
    And after we've paid to come in."

    -= o =-

    The manager wanted no trouble
    He took out his purse right away
    Saying "How much to settle the matter?"
    And Pa said "What do you usually pay?"

    -= o =-

    But Mother had turned a bit awkward
    When she thought where her Albert had gone
    She said "No! someone's got to be summonsed"
    So that was decided upon.

    -= o =-

    Then off they went to the Police Station
    In front of the Magistrate chap
    They told 'im what happened to Albert
    And proved it by showing his cap.

    -= o =-

    The Magistrate gave his opinion
    That no one was really to blame
    And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
    Would have further sons to their name.

    -= o =-

    At that Mother got proper blazing
    "And thank you, sir, kindly," said she
    "What waste all our lives raising children
    To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"


  • Didnt think it would all fit in

    (and how many times have I said THAT!!??)
  • Merkat, I think I have posted elsewhere about "Ron the pod" - expensive but illuminating, and my next pic will probably be my "Fat Little Ankles", cos I don't know many men who get paid lots of money for drawing lines on women's legs and then being allowed to take photos of same. Honest Mum, it's 'Science'!

    He didn't tell me I was mad, so "FLA" is still on for the FLM, but not, sadly the Watford Half.
  • Chimp - my favourite closing lines. I will resist the urge to post poetry until I get home, and as I'm now officially a 'girly' you may not like what I post - it's a bit drippy. Now that would be a nice wind up for the hooligan thread... thinks... evile grin... :)
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