Grinding to a halt

Running is really hard for me - biomechanical and physiological problems etc - and I know I worked harder than ever before in the run up to Helsby 1/2M two weeks ago - but I've completely lost it mentally since then.

I've lost the hope I had that by training harder than ever I'd 'break through' some barrier and it would all become easier - and I think it was that hope that kept me going.

I feel scared to run - and sick at the thought of it. I can't even face the gym anymore - I used to love that. I've only done 1 hours exercise all week - in the gym - and hated every minute of it. This wasn't me - I don't know myself. I don't want to go again.

I don't want to lose the hard won fitness - I really wanted to do Wilmslow 1/2M on 23rd March - but I haven't been able to make myself get going again and am worried that I'm close to completely giving up.

Anyone else ever come face to face with their own limitations and found a way to re-motivate themselves ? If so - advice needed please.

Comments

  • I think what you have to do is ease off a bit. Go for a run, don't wear a watch. Do it this weekend. Take your time, go slow and enjoy it. It sounds like you need to disassociate running with effort. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Whenever I get sick of exercise, I get on my bike and mess around. I don't train, I just have fun. In the end, it beats the stress and puts everything into perspective. Good luck, and enjoy!
  • SS

    Don't lose hope! It sounds like you've been pushing yourself so hard that it has become a chore rather than an enjoyment. First you need to ask yourself what you are exercising for - is it to feel better about yourself or is it to achieve a certain time in a race, for example?

    I got to a point about a year ago when I felt sick every time I came to run. The trouble was, I ran every training run by mileage and always tried to beat the time before. The RW cross-country training plan helped me through that because all the runs were planned by time, rather than distance. I didn't even know how far I had run so I wasn't tempted to get the calculator out and figure out my split times.

    Why not try a variety of runs. I run one interval run, one hilly/hill sprints, one tempo run and one long one. The interval and tempo runs have to be started slowly so I always know that I can leave the house slowly and come back slowly. Once I've got going the hard bits just happen. I write a plan for the next set of training days in my diary and then fill it in as I get to it. I haven't missed a day yet this year and when motivation is low that is what I think of.

    Try to remember how good you feel after you have exercised and that it is OK to exercise at an easy level from time to time. This is my current training programme which (so far) has kept me injury free and motivated. I can honestly say that I am enjoying it and I feel pretty good about myself:

    Day 1) Interval run 40-45 mins with 10 mins easy at beginning and end
    Day 2) Compound upper body weights and abs
    Day 3) Steady hilly run, or hill sprints with easy warm-up and cool-down 40-45 mins
    Day 4) Easy cycle to recover and work opposing muscles 40 mins
    Day 5) Tempo run with easy warm-up and cool-down 40-45 mins
    Day 6) Isolated and compound upper body weights and abs
    Day 7) Long run at whatever pace I can manage (currently around 55-60 mins, working this up a bit at a time)
    Day 8) Rest

    The speed work has helped to improve my easy and steady pace, and knowing I am "allowed" to run slow has helped to get me out the door!
  • drewdrew ✭✭✭
    SS, after all you've been through I'm not surprised you're feeling a bit "deflated". I've been following Ron Grover's thread and was amazed at your dedication and the amount of pain and frustration that often showed through.

    Unfortunately motivation varies tremendously from person to person.

    All I can suggest is that you go back to basics and decide why you want to run. Maybe it's to avoid being unfit and unhealthy or maybe it's because you enjoyed certain aspects of running.

    As Chris says, take it easy, have fun and hopefully you'll get back the buzz that's currently missing.
  • I'll be at Wilmslow SS and have promised to bear my arse if I come in under 2 hours....now if that doesn't motivate you nothing will!!

    Seriously a lot of people are doing Wilmslow and meeting for drinks after.

    Try reading the FLM thread on 'What was it like'...sums up the feeling of many races and V inspirational.

    Whatever you do don't beat yourself up over what you feel you haven't done or how you should be feeling. We've all been there at one time or another....

  • Please don't feel useless and as if you haven't achieved anything SS, like everyone else I've been really impressed with your determination and courage as displayed on the HR thread.
    Like Drew et al suggest, stop thinking about performance and go back to the basics of why you want to run in the first place. It may be you decide you don't enjoy it as much as you might enjoy another activity, in which case you're making a well considered choice rather than feeling you're giving up.

    Perhaps on the other hand you just need a break from the very structured and formal approach you've been following - personally I find using schedules creates as much mental fatigue as physical strain, and last year had to have at least 4-6 weeks of just running how I felt to recover.

    You need to enjoy yourself again and find a way of feeling good about your achievements - you certainly deserve to. Best wishes.
  • Hello SS,

    As others have said, you've worked extremely hard with enormous dedication, and I think it's natural that you're feeling frustrated (and even a bit upset) right now.

    If you're feeling scared and sick at the idea of running, I'm sure you need a break. Give yourself a chance to recover from the effort, both physically and mentally, and to reflect upon what got you running in the first place. Running is normally hard work for me as well - I rarely have an easy run, no matter how short - but it doesn't make me feel bad like that.

    Is there any chance of you checking out a club locally? I joined one about 4 months ago, and I'm now delighted that I did. It's a v. friendly place and I now have other people to run with: even a running partner for long FLM prep runs.

    I'm v. sorry to think of you feeling so low after all the hard work you've put in. I sincerely hope you find a way to put that frustration and disappointment behind you. Apart from anything else, I'm still hoping to meet you at Wilmslow :)

  • SS,

    I think Chris Halls ideas are well worth following. Your target was Helsby. You did that, OK so not quite as quick as you wanted but it was not as flat as you thought it would be. Your next target is Wilmslow, thats 7 weeks away. You have time to have an easy week or 2. Go out and enjoy whatever form of exercise you fancy whether it is long walk in the countryside, playing footie with mini SS. Go and find some snow and go sledging, running up those hills to slide back down again is really hard work.

    Doing exercise to enjoy it is waht you need at the moment. Don't feel forced to do anything.
  • Only two weeks since your last half? Give yourself a chance. Particularly if getting there (to the point where you could run the half) has been a hard slog, don't imagine that just because it's hard now that somehow you've lost it.

    After the Waterbeach half (first post paralysis) I was stiff for a week. I can recall doing a 5K fun run two weeks later while my Mr. ran a half, and thinking that it felt just horrid, how was I ever going to run another real race again.

    Then a couple of weeks later I ran a 10 mile race, and it felt ok, and a couple of weeks (maybe even just one) I ran a 6m leg of a relay, and that was ok.

    For me, it took 3 weeks. For you, maybe 2 or maybe 4 (I had been trying merely to get round: time 2hr 27. How hard did you try?) I think you'll find you haven't lost it, but there's a large gap between feeling ok, and being able to run well. Read Drew's training threads recently.

    The joy of it does come back, all the sooner if you accept your body really is doing its best, remind yourself that you are wonderful to have achieved so much, and just wait until once more, your body can.
  • SS

    Been there. Lost motivation over winter, did no running or training and got fat and unfit.

    started by just going out running (run/walking) my favourite routes without a watch. Started going to club runs again and slowly worked myself back up. If anything, the long rest has paid off, letting all my injuries heal. I'm training harder then ever and I'm even enjoying track sessions!

    I lost it because of running a bad race and thinking that I wasn't going to be able to run the way I imagine myself running (in my head I move like Seb Coe).

    I found out why I wanted to run. What got me going in the first place, and I think of that whenever I'm out and the legs feel heavy.

    You managed to do something that millions of people will only ever dream of doing. Not realising that all they have to do is get of their backsides and just try. Think about how you felt when you crossed the line in London last year. If that doesn't make you want to at least take a walk in your running gear...

    Ultimately, you'll have to do it by yourself. There will be lots of people to help you and cheer you on, but one of the lessons that running taught me is that when it comes down to it, you're the one who has to put one foot in front of the other.

    Good luck.
  • NessieNessie ✭✭✭
    SS

    I agree with Fat Face. Go walking, it's great exercise, and uphill is as good for your stamina as running. Making it a fun thing too will make it not seem like a chore. There's nothing wrong with taking a couple of weeks off to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. And I bet if you told yourself you couldn't run you would be desperate to be back out there.

    I just read a bit of an e-mail you sent me last year, about one of your routes when you were planning the Loch Ness Marathon. You said "it's a lovely high level reservoir that I run round which always amazes me as there are several steepish hills - with grass tracks / gravel paths / heather / forest shade / tarmac with no cars - and superb views of snowdonia with gentle white puffy clouds over the peaks - brilliant - and kind on your shins as well!!". Remember that feeling? It will come back.
  • I don't know what to say - thankyou all very much - there's brilliant advice and friendship there - thanks. I'm actually in tears for a completely different reason now - you've really helped.

    I read the first responses and well - I went home from work on the dot of 4pm (flexi!), grabbed Mini & MrSS and got them on their bikes - they (reluctantly) rode beside me on a mile warm up - and then paced me for that 7 min fast run which I never managed from Ron's schedule - (know why now - it was 194 all the way) then jogged home.

    Sort of mixing all the advice you've given me together - doing it for fun / differently / starting off & finishing slowly etc.

    And yes - it wasn't as bad as I thought - quite.

    Would you believe it we don't have any snow here - the wild Welsh mountains and No Snow - so can't go sledging unless it falls tonight - but yes - that would be a good session as well.

    Thankyou - I'll print this thread off and keep it for 'In Emergency Break Glass' style motivation if needed in the future.

    xx
  • SHE'S been on the computer hasn't she !!!! I'm going to have to show her how to log off!

    But that was ME saying thanks above !!!!

    SS
  • SS

    We all gave it our best shot at Helsby - and you more than anyone.
    After all the hard training, culminating in a huge "eyeballs out" effort, there's bound to be a feeling of anticlimax afterwards - and you probably won't be fully recovered even now.
    Just for comparison in terms of effort put in: My maxHR is about 192 and I did the race at an average of 172. Compare that relative effort with yours - you ran much closer to your maxHR - and for longer.
    Even for me, the coach of the Wirral runners I train with suggested that I still wasn't ready to consider any "heavy" sessions for a few days yet. So given your effort, it wouldn't be at all surprising if you weren't affected mentally (in your outlook on running) as well as physically.
    At the moment, even on easy sessions, I'm training without looking at my watch (until my last mile or so at any rate) to try to take pressure off myself and run according to how I feel. I'm sure that approach (largely as suggested by others) is what you need. Take it easy until you're ready again for something a bit more intense.

    When I started writing this, I was hoping to come up with something profound & original to encourage you, but I seem to have largely ended up echoing everybody else.
    Nonetheless, I'll add my three-hapence worth anyway. Your commitment is an example to us all and I really hope you can lift yourself in time and carry on running.
  • Hey Mike - thanks.Interesting what your coach said - makes me feel better anyway.

    Everyone's right of course - I needed Chris Drew & everyone else to tell me to divorce effort from running to realise why I'd come to hate it so much. Sounds silly but I hadn't worked that one out for myself.I'd always been sceptical about the mind's impact on running until this week.
    I just wasn't expecting this - I mean I've never been able to follow a training programme before due to injuries - so having completed it and done the race I thought I'd feel fit & raring to go - not worse than when I've 'winged it' in the past.

    Couldn't go sledging today but took MiniSS bowling at Cheshire Oaks - much less effort involved.

    I'm lucky - we live on the edge of the Clwydian Range - so tomorrow I'm going up there to run (Nessie I'll walk uphill!) along the ridge top, it's 9 miles and you can see Liverpool - the Pennines - Snowdonia - on a clear day the Lake District. Anyone ever wanting an exhilirating easy high level mountain run - within an hour's drive of Liverpool - this is the one. Your car would be safe parked here Fat Face!

    Stickless - thanks for that - it's helped knowing you've been through something so similar.

    Runner Bean - it's also encouraging to know you came out the other side and enjoy it again. I may use your schedule in the future (if it's not copyright!) as I've realised how much easier it is to know what you're doing / when - but I think Laura's right - at the moment my mind's rebelling against the thought of starting anything structured and hard work again!

    Hi Stompy! Thanks for reminding me of FLM - finishing the last few miles of it together really made the day for me. Glad you're running again - missed you from the forums these last few months.

    Any idea's as to just how late I dare leave it before having to pick up training properly for Wilmslow ? If I don't do it I might come along to 'support' anyway - it'll be the only way I'll see H's moment of glory .

    The incentive to run a race and meet forum members face to face is probably stronger than if I were in a club ( there isn't one around here) and yes it would be great to meet up WP - but I think you need a new name - Blazing Trotters!

    Cheers

  • I'm glad to hear you're feeling so much more positive, SS :) Often a break is all it takes.

    Is there any chance of some directions for that ridge run you were describing? I'm almost drooling here at the idea of a 9 mile ridge run like that! I'll definitely drive over and have a go at that!

    I'm really glad you feel so much better!

    <piglet waves sticky little trotter at SS>
  • Hi Wee Piglet (and anyone else interested)

    Sure - e-mail me and I'll send you exact details - it's along the highest section of Offa's Dyke in Denbighshire - between Moel Arthur and Moel Fammau - the best bit - you can keep going forever if you've got someone to pick you up at the other end - or just go out and return back to your car, ...there's also a lovely pub in the middle of nowhere near by - fireplaces -food people travel from the Wirral for - all sorts of strange ales. Could even have a RW training social cum run....

    Also got a lovely 10.5 mile 'round the reservoir' run high up on the Denbigh Moors which is fab - (the one Nessie refers to) - it's just what's needed when you've had enough of the roads but want to keep your times up - as it's (mainly) flat - mixed surfaces with stunning scenary. The great thing is - once you've started you have to finish!
  • What? like a light jog followed by a picnic?
  • Sounds like a truly great idea!

    I wonder whether we could do a circular run starting and ending from the pub that Mim mentioned? Or even out and back - I wouldn't mind out and back for a lovely long ridge run!
  • This is desperate...I still can't get going again. Feel like I'm becoming schizophrenic - one voice saying 'Go on - get out there' and the other saying 'No Way'.

    I don't want to become a slob!!
  • Pull yourself together woman, just get out there and do it!! You know you want to really :) Report back when you've been!!
    Off you pop now, gently does it.
  • Come on SS
    Just a mice brisk walk
    For 10 minutes
    leave the HRM at home, and just focus on enjoying it
  • Well - at least I went out.

    2.4 miles in......28:58 mins ...with a HR of 90% all the way - I can't run any slower than that - and walking's boring and takes too long.

    No wonder I can't recover.

    I'll try again Sunday.

    Thanks
  • Well done for getting out there SS - I know it's tough at this time of year - I've been suffering from much the same motivation problems recently - and then this week I was all set to get back on track but fell over whilst down in London and my face is all bruised so I can't run for a week now - argh! I'm hoping I've still got time to train for Wilmslow but we'll see.
  • congratulations SS - you got going again. We're with you all the way.
  • yes, little and often
    seroiusly, lose the hrm, just for a session
  • Thanks M&Ms (sorry couldn't resist that!) Really sorry to be so pathetic.

    Hippo - I did lose the HRM - last week - all that money! Found it again. But no - I'm using it now for a completely different purpose - to keep a exact log of what I've done and a weekly 'Exertion Count' so I never, ever - repeat what I did before Christmas. I'm sure I was in serious overtraining mode then - but what I don't know now is if I've recovered / am recovering from it or not. Sunday will tell I guess.

  • SS - you're doing fab.

    I had to break my schedule yesterday as I spent the week in London on a course and got home shattered. I battled with my conscience all evening but have turned the page in my diary and got on with today's plan. I was tempted to do yesterday and today's exercise together this morning but want to do well tomorrow so...

    Beware the overtraining trap. You are allowed to have a life as well.

  • i just had a lazy week, then a week away on holiday, (my excuse for not running was it was -30 outside) i felt really guilty.... but i came back and had a great run!!! 45mins.. a record for me! sometimes a rest does you good?! I ve also found a running friend at work, which its tons better than dragging yourself out in the rain and dark on your own!!
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