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Ironman - Germany - Pirate Race Reports - 23rd July 2006
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Last weekend was much more than a race, it was sharing an amazing experience with a disparate loose collective of pirates all striving towards a common goal with good humour.
A couple of days of semi-intense evening carboloading turned into a bit of a nightmare Friday for me as 100m into a test ride of my bike semi bike ponce Lindi pointed out one of the gear cables had almost frayed through. Luckily they have a free bike service at all IM events so I took my bike along there expecting a cable change to take 20 mins. Six and half hours later, two visits and new cables and gear lever it was all sorted, or so I thought. By this time I’d missed the race briefing by oxy had kindly kept me up to date about the no wetsuit situation which was a bummer but not unexpected. I joined a large group of pirates having dinner by the athletes village looking like a complete tri ponce as I still had my tri kit on and had my bike with me. Fortunately the expo was open and I was able to buy a t shirt for the bargain price of 10 euros so I looked a little less conspicuous. It was only when I’d sat down again that Dermot pointed out to me it said “Lady Line” on the badge. Perhaps this is why people were laughing at me I thought.
After racking the bikes on Saturday at the lake, a few of us went for a quick paddle to try and calm a few nerves about no wetsuits. Unfortunately I had forgotten my goggles so when I swam out to the pontoon with naked people on it I couldn’t see anything. I did almost swim into a naked granny though. The water was quite warm.
The journey was a bit of a nightmare as the bus stopped for 12 hours when we were almost there (well it was probably 10 mins but it seemed longer). Most of the other people on the bus looked like buffed tri gods.
Swim
Like many I was very nervous about the swim. The furthest I had ever swum without a wetsuit before the day was 1000 metres so I had a new distance PB in the offing. Despite my sandbagging tag I was not sure what time I would do for this, or whether I would even make it so I entered the water lake with the intention of starting at the back as far away from the violence as possible. Unfortunately I only made it about half way across before the firework things went. What followed was a combination of the worst experience I have ever had plus the best. I’m not sure if the swims are normally that violent but I seemed to be constantly punched a kicked and could not get a stroke. This wasn’t helped by the fact my lack of confidence in my swimming meant I had positioned my self too far back and wanted to swim faster than every one around me. No problem I thought it will sort itself out soon. I got pulled under at the turn. A loud “oi” found the culprit as he looked sheepishly back at me. He looked Spanish.
One lap completed and it was still a ruck. By this time my injured shoulder was getting a bit too painful but it only had to work for another 45 mins so I did not are. Having the pirate support as I staggered across the short beach section was great.
As we re entered the water some dived straight back in. I was in the second category of people who walked as far as possible before swimming again. Almost over, but still a scrum. At this stage I thought that as it as 1500m or so to go I would start to pull a bit rather than doing the motions. Unfortunately my shoulder meant every time I did this I went around in circles. I must have annoyed a lot of people.
Coming into the finish I could see and hear the crowds which were awesome. Getting out of the swim I walked up the cliff face to T1. Everyone else seemed to be running. It was a long way to the bikes. It took me a while to get changed – Monique zoomed past me as I was faffing (so much so a helper took pity on me and mothered me) and was in and out of T1 in a flash.
Onto the bike everyone seemed to be zooming past me, most of them were called Dietmar. I fed a bit and saw ergo who had had a great swim and was understandably taking it easy on eh bike due to her back. Dietmar mark 45 came past me. It struck me they had closed the main road into Frankfurt for the event. The bike course was amazing, going through the villages with all of that support was phenomenal, and it was packed even in the middle of a thunderstorm. I kept telling myself to keep it controlled for the first lap and then see what happened. I ate whenever my watch beeped.
About halfway around the lap I stopped for a pee and several pirates who I had overtaken came back past me. I stopped for 3 further wees on the bike. I need to sort it out. Helmut and Dirk were constantly drafting ahead of me. I called them something else. Two women were drafting, lots of people made a third line to go past, (which was not allowed). I waited for a bit and then went for it. Unfortunately this was just as the hells angel draft buster came up and I got a ticking off but no penalty. He was scary so I was polite and did not ask why he did not tell those women off. Lots of people were puncturing as the storm had washed a lot of debris onto the road.
Out onto the second lap there was lots of pirate support. It really does help. I think I was still smiling then. I think it was about this time I realised the really cool whooshing sound I thought was my aero wheels was actually the brakes rubbing. They really had done a great service at the expo. I flicked the brakes almost off and couldn’t slow down very well. Leo and I kept passing each other as well as someone from BRAT and (I think) one of Roseys mates. My gears were getting less and les slick and I noticed the cable was frayed again. I changed gear as infrequently as possible from then on as I was worried it would break. There were 4 strands left at the end.
The second lap was ok and I made it round. Helmut and Dirk were still drafting. I passed Leo on the flats; he passed me on the hills and corners. As I came towards transition a girl from my home town was shouting for me which was odd. Everyone else was doing stretching routines so I copied them.
Into T2 and they took my bike off me and mothered me again. I felt like saying I was old enough to do it myself, but the help was amazing. Leo was again my nemesis and he came in as well. We went out on the run together and hatched a plan to stay together as long as possible running between aid stations and walking the aid stations themselves. I tried to make myself look as stupid as possible by shoving ice down my pants and sponges down my shorts and top as well as my hat. It was a bit hot. Lots of people were flying past us. Lots of them came back later in the race. We went though the half in (I think) just under 2 hours. We met Dan and Dermot on the run and got them running again only top watch them speed off into the distance. but slowed a bit on the third.
At this point I had to let Leo go as he was running really strongly. Fab race. On the fourth lap I changed my strategy and ran for 5 mins, walked one and then ran to the aid station. The pirate support was amazing – even the locals were entering into the spirit “go piraten!”
I was feeling a bit rough now, my calves cramped again and the muscles tore again, but it’s not wendyball, it’s and Ironman and I wasn’t far from home. It would have been my Dad’s seventieth birthday on the Wednesday before and I thought how proud he would have been to have been there.
I tried to get some people to run with me as it makes it easer and with about 6km to go picked up a random girl from Brum and we helped each other to get home. Many thanks to her. We caught up with Monique and Dan and got them running again. I felt sorry for Dan when a support shouted – almost there until Dan pointed out he had one more lap to go. Monique and Dan sped off. Great running both of you.
The run into the finish was amazing and I am sure all of us felt like stars. It was a bit emotional. Some helper escorted me to the athlete’s village which was full of buffed naked people
I’m sure I saw lots more people on the course. I’m sorry if I have not mentioned you. I’ve just worked out I could go at least an hour faster next year by working harder, not that I am going next year.
To those of you who did not make it as the weekend, come back stronger either later this year or next year. In some ways I am jealous of you as it’s going to feel twice as great to cross that finish line in Austria or Florida.
then I lose my sunglasses turn up in bike bag after race . two minutes from t1 lose aero pad still have bolt marks in forearm .. forearm not neck! Pass a few pirates wondering where P is starting to worry that theres a problem when grumbling bloke roars past a few ks out of Frankfurt good swim matey he shouts (to pre handle the crap swimmer taunt, hes going too fast I think ..) Pass and get passed by Jelle a serpie from my gym who goes on for sub 12 go dude! Philip who is new to tri does identical swim and bike legs to me but ignores my warnings about nutrition and staying seated and gets 15.22 as a result.
Bimble into frankfurt for 6.27 split and it begins to dawn that at the end of today I will be an Ironman . Dawdle in t2 being undressed and lotioned up its nice clean socks , realise that my feet cold on bike !
Stomach goes on lap 2 and so does running helfers and piratey fans drivin me on manage odd bit of runnin and get my head back together to plan sub 13.45 Wild will helps with some military marchin and explains everythin in miles per min which confuses addled brain but gd to have him there. Brian nearly kills me with fumes but his encouragement so genuine .. See Debbo on run now and hopin she makes it... Finally round corner at bridge and ma and pa there . Wait for 2 guys to pass and get my own Romer moment the crowd are amazin and I get best snog of my life from annie helfer takes 10 mins to seperate us 13.36 and Im happy with that. Thanks to all who supported me athletes and sherpas!
Before: i was clearly a little bit over-excited about the whole thing beforehand, as on the way to register i had to be alerted to the fact that my shoes were on the wrong feet. luckily, it was fairly easy to convince the organisers that in the right light, tilted at a specific angle, my driving license did indeed say "Ergo-phobic", and get away with racing under my forum name.
Swim: happened. lost a bit of time with the wetsuit, but it was ok. the only notable bit was in the first 500m when i'd clashed arms a bit with some big german guy (that's an assumption on my part, but i'd put money on it. well, either that or american) who stopped swimming, turned around and held me under the water. for a bit i panicked a little and thought "oh, so this is how it ends", but then he let me go and i came up spluttering and coughing, and it turned out he was really slow, so i got in front of him and peed in his face...
;O))
it was only beaten by the finish line proposal - finisher went down on one knee to his g/f - we didn't hear what was said but we are pretty sure it wasn't "pick me up love, I'm fecked" as they clung onto each other for about 5 mins with g/f in tears............
T2: it transpires from discussion in the pub afterwards that there were 2 changing tents in T2, one for men and one for girlies. unfortunately, this didn't register with me at the time, which probably explains why i was unable to apply liberal amounts of sudocrem to my battered undercarriage due to the presence of a) 195 men, b) a very large Helfer called Hans and c) Ferret. so i did what i decently could and set off.
Run: i thought i was being rather optimistic, because at this point i was fairly certain i'd finish, but it seems the supporters didn't agree with this. sorry guys, your support and sheer presence was great, and i really appreciated it! i'm not really a miserable git but at one point i was a bit concerned that if i moved my face muscles, my feet would stop working...
got really bad under-arm chafing from the trisuit which culminated in running with a couple of sponges stuffed under my arm pits. luckily i remembered to take these out for the finish.
I didn't get a drip because i was sulking because Herr Doktor Big-Boots wouldn't let me put my own cannula in, and i didn't want someone else to get vital practise...
in summary: it was awesome! thank you so much to all the supporters and other pirates for your encouragement. see you anon.
x
It will be a while before I can reflect and get some perspective on my race experience to write a report. Also I'm trying to not think about it too much since I want to enjoy the rest of my vacation. Let's just say that I don't react good at all to being cold and it wasn't the non-wetsuit decision that killed me. If it had been sunny and warm when we came out of the water I still would have made it around the course. Thanks to Carl for keeping me from quitting on the bike when I stopped because I was so cold I couldn't pedal the bike anymore.
Rest assured KK will be back to do an Ironman because KK is getting upset. I'm already looking at IM races to enter. IMUK is too soon for financial reasons, and the only other races open this year are IM Korea and IM Western Australia. I don't fancy a trip to Korea but Western Australia has potential. Otherwise it might be Arizona. I don't want to wait as I'm already in good enough shape.
Thanks to all the Pirates for the support! It was fantastic to meet all those that made it Germany. Hopefully I will see many of you at the piss-up on Friday in London.
IW- I was totally gutted for all 8 who got pulled on the bike, The non- wetsuit was always going to have an impact on everyone, and I know what it is like to want to jack it all in, but you mustn't, get the help with your swim from the tri club, go to your girl friends for the empathy, blokes are better at "brilliant" but totally unwanted advice! I just wish I could have some of Cougie and Carls splendid attitude towards competition.
However the first lap was spent being cautious as one misplaced elbow could see me in Davy Jones locker, after being hit twice by one particular guy I did bring my fist down hard on his head to warn him off, also the odd elbow to protect my personal space didn't go amiss. At the turnaround I found myself next to Daniel, wherer a conversation about how rough it was ensued then we took off again, but it was nice to see other pirates, I believe for a time I was swimming alongside Eccentric but can't be sure.
Anyway the support on the bank was great, and I ran up the beach, saw Ergo in T1 and shouted over.
Everything went well on the bike, no idea of the swim time as my watch had been knocked, but this isn't a problem I would ask someone on the run about time.
I loved the course, loved the rain, on the wet cobbles I stuck it in an easy gear and kept sat down to prevent wheel slippage.
I am most proud of being able to stand up on the pedals and wee for the first time, I just thought about the water sloshing around in my aero bottle and out it came, all over a woman called Margeurita who didn't appreciate it.
;o)
it was nice to see you in T1 as well, i was nervous about the bike but that set me off well.
<steps back out of range in case 'nad kicking' wasn't a typo>
The tea was as usual fantastic, it even features in one of my race photos. Lap one went great but after that I started to get the same problem as Zurich, nausea, in spite of sweating so not dehydrated and taking lava salts on the bike and run I couldn't figure it out again, so had to watch my time for each lap increase. I have to thank Debbo who ran with me over the bridge on my last lap and Daniel who really did get my most despondant moaning in his ear, no wonder he took off, caught him up though as I had less than a mile. I was in the toilet on lap two considering staying there until nightfall but it was too hot and smelly- a plastic box full of excrement being a marginally worse place to be than out in the sun.
It seems I don't do heat very well (like I didn't already know that after MDS)
Over the last lap I had a mantra going round in my head "see the pirates, collect flag, collect band, finish"
And finish I did, 11:45:48 I had wanted 11:30, I was more annoyed with myself as a runner who can't do justice to the marathon. However it is a pb, it was just a t Sherborne I was on a high from the neg split marathon and felt top notch, this was more like Zurich.
I was lolling about on some steps with my legs in the air, getting Dave to bring me tea when a guy next to me urged me to blag a drip, which I did and felt right as rain afterwards, might have to devise an intravenous arrangement for fluid intake on the run next time.
Wasn't the bike course great though!
Arrived on Wednesday. Zuppy Junior managed to break dad's nose on the plane over so my normally snoreless bf sounded like concorde taking off. Checking into the hotel took 3 and half hours at which stage Zuppy threatened the hotel staff with his very "bose" girlfriend and they finally got their act together. Zuppy Junior was well impressed with the hotel room and father and son flaffed around in fluffy bathrobes drinking stolen powerade. After filling ZJ with caffeine and sugar we went to Bonn to drop him off with his mum. Then on to meet some of Zuppy's friends and an all night bender. Beers and shots later we were on a train into Frankfurt at dawn and met loads of peeps off out for a cycle as we went to bed. I think we should of entered this episode in the “most piratey spirit” category. Registered on thursday and bought all the ironman gismo's at the expo. We also put the bikes together. It was great to meet up with sherpas old and new at the rac briefing on friday and lake on saturday. The no wetsuits freaked me out a bit and if I'm honest, I didn't expect to be able to finish at that stage but Candy's word's kept coming into my head, I just needed to do whatever it took to get to the finish line, even if that meant hopping all the way.
I started at the back for the swim and only started swimming in the middle of das Lied der Deutschen. I tried to front crawl but it just wasn't happening with all the bashing so I to started to breaststroke. I drafted off Plum for a while. The first lap felt like a very long way. I didn't get bashed more any more than I expected but I did get water in my goggles which meant I lost my contact lenses. Nothing for it but to do the rest of the race with poor vision. Got out of the first lap on 54 minutes and the pirate support was wonderful. back in the water I realised I needed to get a move on to make the cutoff on the second, longer lap. There was nothing for it but to front crawl. Funnily enough the second lap felt shorter. Several times I wanted to capsize the kayakers for paddling out too far and making the course longer than necessary. Are all kayakers evil? Out of the water at 1:50. A half hour faster than I expected and I felt like a profi when a pirate (fat buddah?) was sitting on the ramp out of the water, in a press jacket and a camera pointed at me.
The bike
Out on the bike and the first people I passed were my sherpas. Relaxed when I knew they were there as they had promised to keep M. (and RW forums) up to date. The heavens opened as I got going on the bike. I probably suffered less than most people in the rain as I'm Irish and used to it and I couldn't see anything anyways. The first lap on the bike was a joy. My only fault would be the feed stations. Riders were slowing to almost nothing and weaving accross the road to get to the drinks. I got caught in quite a few traffic jams which cost me quite a lot of time. I skipped a few as a result and didn't get enough to eat on the bike. Next year I'll take more solid foods with me and only rely on the aid stations for drinks. The sun came out for my second lap of the bike. At the turn around in the city, jJ excelled herself as surrporter extrodonaire by juumping up and down in the middle of the road. I was aware of other people but couldn't make out faces. The backs of my knees were hurting a bit at this stage and I promised myself I'd go get someone to look at my bike when I get home to have a definite plan for the saddle height rather than just guessing it. I'll also tighten things even tighter next time. My speedo reset itself on the cobbles and my tribars came a bit loose at the same spot on the second lap. Fogggy and I played tag a bit on the bike. He’s a much stronger cyclist than me but I can pee on the bike. Finished the bike in 6:08.
The run
I'm a crap swimmer and the bike has too many mechanical things that can go wrong and I'd have no control over so all day I had been calming myself saying that I needed to get to the run before I knew it was in the bag. Out on the run I wanted to take it slow and steady. I had planned on 6min km's and to walk every aid station. As it happened the lack of food on the bike meant I felt like something at every aid station but I did keep to my pace. Marathon took 4:18. The support on the run was amazing and I looked forward to seeing the pirate “camp” on each round. Can you guys bring a portable bbq next year? IW was amazing as a supporter. I'm not sure I could have had that good grace had it been me pulled off the course. I had gone out hoping to go sub 14 hours but things just went right for me and I knew I was close to sub 12:30. I wasn't sure how close though so I picked up a bit of speed and sprinted down the red carpet of the finishing chute. The crowds were amazing and it felt amazing and after a year of waiting I was finally an ironman. I was glad to be finished but not particularly emotional until Petal came down to congratulate me and told me Zuppy had finished about 10 minutes before me. I'd not seen him since the lakeside that morning and noone along the way had any news of him. I had thought he must have pulled out or worse was in one of the helicopters lifting crash victims off the course. When Petal told me he was ok, I blubbed! Mind you I recovered from that fairly quickly and now I've got to go back and go 12 mins faster in order to beat his time! Competitive, who us? My final finishing time was 12:25. I'm delighted with it but if I went back next week I could take an hour off it without actually getting any better. I might just be dangerous if I could actually learn how to swim.
The athletes village was a nice chill zone afterwards. Zuppy went to see about medical attention but didn't fancy the only treatment on offer (a drip) so treated himself. I couldn't face anything to eat or drink so I did take up the drip offer. I've got low blood pressure so had the usual conversation with the medics of him: "your BP is low", me: "It's always low", him "really?" (with disbelieving look of how can a lard arse like you have low BP) still with the drip inside me I felt a bit better and we gradually made our way home.
When Debbo, Zuppy and I were in Lanza earlier in the year, one of the americans proposed the theory that you were not a real ironman until you went home after a race and "saw to" (his phrase) your other half. Needless to say Zuppy didn't want to be 3/4 of an ironman. Do we get extra points on Candy's league table for that one? Overall a great event, very well organised (except for the silly cut-off's) and the pirates and pirate supporters are legends. In particular, Jj, Lindi, Oxy, Cartman, Tishymouse, Debbo, Fogggy, Plum, Barley, Petal, FB and IW made the event very special for me.