Pooh's Corner

Hi there,

I'm a newish mum to a 9 1/2 month old. I hung up my shoes when I was 5 months gone but over the last few months I have started to get back into it.

I'm not fast or amazingly fit, I am 2 stone overweight but I am so pleased I am back out there.

It was hard to get going again but although it's hard, every time is pure bliss. No tears or tantrums just me and my time. After the first five minutes of can I / can't I do this run today I suddenly have a wave of ooohhhh peace and start to look around at the fields, trees, puddles and listen to nature all around me.

When I'm close to an arguement with my long suffering, nagged to death, husband now I try my best to go for a run and quite often I get back and the row doesn't blow up.

I never realised how hard it would be to be a mum and I must admit very naive about it all. Every minute of the day seems to be accounted for but I seem to keep my sanity by getting out for my runs. I think my husband loves it when I go out as well as when I return I'm always a lot less stressed and feel so proud of myself that I forget how cream crackered I am.

Oh well better get some kip.

If there are any other mums or dads who want to vent please join me on this thread.

Thanks
Sarah




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Comments

  • Sarah

    Congratulations:
    On getting out there
    On enjoying the world around you
    On your mumhood
    On realising that you need some time to be you

    Enjoy your life.
  • not a mum, and never wwill be
    but good on you
    dont stop
    xxxxxxxxxxx
  • Windy, I echo Hips' comments. You go girl!!! ;o)
  • Sarah

    good for you on finding a bit of time and space for yourself. I wasn't a runner before I had my boys, its something new for me at the age of 40! Now mine are old enough to be left for a while its something I can do just for me.

    We parents need a bit of something for ourselves. I hope you enjoy your bit of space - and enjoy your family!
  • Hi WIndy, I ran before my two but find I am the same I can be in a foul mood, go a run and come back a different person, husband tries to push me out when he sees me near to cracking point?!?! My only problem is I have to be bak before 7 and sometimes, being in a nice cosy bed is nicer!!
  • am right there with you windy. can totally understand - you have no crying, demands for milk/food/nappy changing.

    stay cool and keep on running.
  • Well done, Sarah :o)

    I didn't start running until my youngest was three-and-a-half, and would have found it virtually impossible before then because I also worked full-time and begrudged myself "me-time" just as much as my husband and kids resented me taking it.

    It gets easier logistically as the kids grow up and become more independent.
  • I'll be joining you in December - not as a mum but as a first time dad - can't wait!! I hope to be able to keep the running going as it's taken me long enough to hone my body into the physically perfect temple it is today (not!);o)

    Keep up with the running and enjoy each new day.
  • Hello Sarah

    Welcome to the wonderful world of running and motherhood.

    I have a 17 month old mouselet I love her to bits, I am also a housewife was made redundant before mat leave ran out. I love my mouselet but nobody told me how hard it would be. The books don't tell you how demanding and exhausting being a Mum can be. I envy parents who say their kids sleep through the night. (mine doesn't she can be up 2-3 times on a good night on a bad one I don't know what bed is). I took up running again when she was 13 months old. (I had to give it up when I was 10 weeks as I had all day sickness and couldn't eat or keep enough down to fuel running). I had to start to train for GNR as I wasn't going to walk it again this year. (wlked the previous 2 years)

    I love going out the door. Its great out there, wind in my face (i even enjoy running in the rain). I still beat myself up if I have a bad run, but it helps me put my life into perspective. I don't have so many 'dark days' now where everything seems so bleak. I get time to myself. As you say I can go out and appreciate the scenery, birds etc instead of thinking I must get to mums before she needs feeding, changing then putting my head down and doing a fast walk.

    My husband doesn't have to say go for your run more than once. I am ready and gone. The dog gets a good run out and we have some us time which She was sadly lacking before.


    I do get tired. A full nights sleep would be a luxury I'd love, but I guess I manage on what I get.

    I love running.
  • Well done and congratulations on getting back out of there – I’m a dad of a 3 year old little boy and have virtually had to give up running – my wife suffered badly from Post natal Depression and as a result had to do probably more than most new dads, night feeds early mornings, putting to bed etc etc and although the PND is more or less in the past my son is pretty dependent on me – to the point I can’t move without him – when I’m not at work. Our marriage has suffered as a result and although everything now back on track and my wife coming slowly off anti depressant, running just isn’t an option as my son won’t allow my wife to put him to bed– we tried again a couple of weeks ago when I went to the shops for half an hour and when I came back he was still sat up in bed – heard me come home called out are you home now daddy, I want a cuddle – he had a cuddle said ‘I love you daddy’ and settled down to sleep

    It’s still a beautiful world

    and as he gets older it will be easier to get out again although I do miss running dreadfully and am still a member of my running club!
  • grendel - you are doing a fabulous job. i have PND and i probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my husband. hope your wife is doing better now.
  • Tweety – stick at it please – my wife was ashamed and refused to seek help and it took four or five calls to our health visitor on my part to persuade someone that there was a problem as my wife was to ashamed to admit it – refusing to accept that it wasn’t her fault, compounded by a problem with her mum who told her to pull herself together and get on with it – (they haven’t spoken now for three years) – now three years later we see the light at the end of the tunnel – I won’t pretend that I am not worried as she is gradually being weaned off the anti depressants but am definitely hopeful for the future – as I do see an improvement in her and our sons relationship – they go out and about now which they never did before – I think the moral here for anyone either Mum or Dad is that there is nothing to be ashamed of, if you feel you need help don’t be afraid to ask and that does really go for Dads too –

    Despite all the problems we have a wonderful (if slightly stroppy little boy) who is adamant that he is going to be a footballer not the hoped for saviour of British distance running
  • Hi Sarah - good for you getting out there.

    I started running when my youngest was 7 months old and it was the best thing I have ever done. There have definatley been the 'you and your bloody running' comments from my husband but last year he took it up too and so is now much more understanding.

    The worst thing used to be coming back from a run - tired and sweaty - to be landed with the kids because 'it's your turn now - you've been out and had your fun'. Still now we both go out we are quietly lining the pockets of various babysitters.

    Re motherhood - I think everyone has their own unique experience. I was like you - shocked to the extreme by how hard it was yet friends seem to sail through it. I got a bit of PND but managed to get through with some extreme intervention from family but I still have a 6 month blank space that I don't really remember. Seeing other mums I know struggling years after they have had their babies, still on anti-depressents makes me realise just how lucky I was to get through it.

    Whenever I get stressed now or need space I know where to go to get it. My kids do run everywhere however as they think that's what all grown ups do....
  • thanks grendel. it's hard work but i have come a long way (apart from a recent few steps back) and am not about to give up.

    i was very lucky; i saw recognised the signs (as did my husband) quite early on and went to see my health visitor (who set up a support group for mums with PND, now unfortunately no longer running) and advised me to go and see my GP. GP asked me if I wanted to take anything and i said yes but wanted counselling as well. she said it was probably just a phase i was going through!!! needless to say, i don't go and see that doctor any more. i see from your profile you're from essex like me; i hope your wife doesn't have the same GP i used to!! i am hoping mini tweety takes a liking for running; she did her 2nd fun run this year in Southend and toddled over the finish line :-)

    gymbunny - mini tweety sees me when i get in from a run, sees my runaid bottle, sits on my (sweaty) lap and says 'water.' meanwhile, i am gasping from thirst and for breath and she sits grinning at me saying 'water.'

    ah kids, who have them, eh?
  • btw windy, i told my husband there was someone on the forums with the name windy melons and he wants to know where you got the name from!
  • Grendel Good on you!! My little girl very clingy to me as hubby's shifts means that 1 week out of 3 its me who gives her tea, baths her, gives her supper and puts her to bed. The next week its sometimes hard to get her used to hubby putting her to bed every other night but we worked at it gradually and she now 'accepts' it a little better. (but I like to think I tell a better bed time story).

    Its our first wedding anniversary on Sunday. We got married in Gretna Green last year. (Nightmare day but thats a different story). If you had said to me 3-4 months ago we would see our wedding anniversary still together I think both of us would have laughed. We both thought we would be split up by now. I took up running again and can see things in a different light. We still have the odd argument (I still get really tired especially when he has to work 14 days on the trot and daughter not sleeping). But I don't resent him for being able to still go play golf and do the things he used to do before Mouselet came along. As long as I can go for my runs I a a different person. I don't have a lot of help from family as Mum 76, sister has 2 jobs. 2 brothers live quite a distance away. Hubbys parents in 60's and can just say manage daughter. (She is into everything).

    I missed my scrapbook class tonight. No babysitter available and hubby on 3 til 11 shift. I would normally have been sitting crying but I have tomorrow mornings run to look foward to. My running stuff all ready to throw on. Going to go looking for new running jacket for early birthday pressie at weekend.
  • OOps hit mouse and it submitted I think I had a bad score on 2 post natal questionnaires but had so many changes of health visitor just could't bring myself to talk to them. Went to doctors to be handed a prescription for antidepressants. I didn't take them. I didn't want that just wanted someone to listen to me and tell me that other people found it hard to and it wasn't all plain sailing and I was a good mum, everyone has ups and downs. Think a lot of it stemmed from fact I couldn't breast feed and I'd set my heart on it. Felt like a real failure. My Mum not very supportive. Her era 'got on with it' and thats what I am supposed to do. Sorry going on a bit.

    Well done everyone. Do we deserve a pat on the back just for getting out there???
  • Wow - thanks guys for all your positive posts.
    It so great to find a common place to chat. I try to talk to my dh (dear husband) but he doesn't really 'get' the running thing.
    Congrats 'lardass' it will be amazing when your little one makes his/her appearance- hard - but amazing. I love being a parent and my dh is a fab dad. He is not home much as he travels around the country all the time - but when he is here he is fantastic. I should really give him more credit than I do.

    Grendel - (((hang in there))) it sounds like hell but you've turned a corner. I had mild pnd and did not need anti d's but to me I was living in guilt city, hated myself and couldn't understand why I was doing everything wrong. My poor dh had to put up with all my irrational behaviour - still does- and I think when maybe in a year or two or five we will look back and realise how strong it has made us - I hope. My angel has reflux and was in agony everytime she fed. She was in and out of hospital and what's more I was determined to breastfeed even though I had a poor supply. I am still breastfeeding now and find it hard to get time to myself but when I do I run. Running is the release I need for a number of things. Stress - of course - me time - and to get in shape. I feel like a new woman after a good run. I hope you can get back to it soon. I must admit I did feel guilty to start with. I thought I wasn't allowed to have some space and time to myself but I came to the conclusion that a happy mum makes for a happy dad and baby.

    Sleep - what the bleep is that. The last time I had 4 hours uniterrupted sleep was when I was pregnant. It's amazing how you survive it though. My angel goes down around 9ish after a marathon breastfeeding session and then wakes at 11.30ish for another little feed.(Just had one now) Then at about 1.30/2am when she wakes again I give up and bring her to bed with us. (Sometimes dh sleeps downstairs so he can get some kip! Lucky so and so.) Then 5.30am she is bright as a button on the boob again. Then we are up at 6am to start the day. I hope she sleeps through soon. I need more energy. There are only so many bananas I can eat.
    continued////
  • continued from above ////

    Gymbunny - did you used to be on WW site a couple of years ago. There was a gymbunny on there then when I was losing weight to get hitched. I know what you mean about others sailing through it all. A good freind of mine had her baby 6weeks after me and she sleeps from 7 to 7. Makes me sick with envy. She also rarely cries and will be happy to be looked after by anyone. Whereas my bundle of joy wants me me me all the time. Oh well - I must admit secretly 99% of the time I love it and I love the closeness we have. I hear you batmouse - some sleep please sir! I am not a housewife though - although would love to be to spend more time with baby. My mother has her. But she lives 2mins from my office so I leave her at 9am then spend lunch hour with her and then pick her up at 5.30. I can pop back and forth when she needs a feed as well. I work from home on Fridays. DH is trying to build up his career so I can stay home more often.

    Tweety - thanks for your replies. DH calls me windy melons. Windy - need I say anymore (mainly when running) - melons - my boobs due to breastfeeding. However the name actually derives from a character in Vic Reeves big night out.

    Wow I think this message is huge and I am shattered.

    Just one more thing to add - I had a great run tonight - I tried out speed training and my legs nearly fell off. Burnt loads of cals but replaced them with a lovey spaggy bol and garlic bread made by dh. Hmm he is being so nice recently I wonder what he wants - another playstation game I expect!!

    I really must sleep now before round 2 with the little one. I might get an hour or so before she starts bellowing.

    Speak soon, sleep well and keep those tantrums at bay
    Sarah x
  • batmouse - I think we cross posted. (Well it took me so long to write the last one). Don't beat yourself up about breastfeeding it was the hardest thing I have ever done and I can't believe I have done it. For something that is so natural why the heck is it so hard. As I said earlier a happy mum = happy baby. If breastfeeding wan't working for the both of you so what - there is so much pressure on mums now to do it. I think health visitors and midwifes can e really harsh sometimes. Probably because they are so pressed all the time.

    Well I really must sleep now. Hope to catch up again tomorrow.
    x

  • batmouse - i know what you mean about the breastfeeding. i still secretly beat myself up about it from time to time but my daughter is healthy (most of the time) so i shouldn't really do that.

    windy - hope you got a teeny bit of sleep. have you considered expressing so someone else can give your baby a bottle at night so you can get a bit of sleep?

    GP for me tomorrow morning - think i might take the day off as well if i can.
  • can't comment on breatfeeding lol but thanks for the kind words - our son hasn't ever slept right through and is now three and a half - my wife can't do the night stuff or get up early so I have to do it and at times have been asleep at my desk, or locked on trains at Fenchurch Street fast asleep - but when he demands a cuddle just before I left for work and tells me that I love you daddy everything really is worth while - I do from time to time take him into the spare bed with me and have challenged anyone - health visitors my wife relate counsellors etc to tell me why it is wrong if it is me that is having to deal with it and not getting help from anywhere else - but I'll keep repeating it is still a beautifull world when he cuddles up - might sound soppy from a blke but I don't care.

    And Health visitors - I won't have them near the house!
  • Hi Sarah - yes that prob was me. I still pop in now and again as we have a running club going on the board.

    Re sleep - it changes your world doesn't it. My first didn't sleep through till he was 1 and a half but my daughter did it from 3 weeks and that was 3 years ago now and she hasn't had a single broken night. Can't get her up in the morning for nursery either so she obviously takes after her mum. I sleep trained them both quite rigorously however from pretty much day one and think that it helped quite a bit. Even my son would sleep in till 11 oclock when he was a baby and I could get a long lie. I don't think it would work for every child but it certianly worked a treat for my two.
  • Unfortunately was unable to do that as my wife was finding it so difficult – the crying thing just couldn’t happen and as a result I ran in at first sound of a cry – am paying the price 3 years down the line – but the ups certainly outweigh the downs –

    He and I will be watching the Southend 10K in October *weather permitting as it is always great to catch up with the old crowd.
  • Thanks for the good wishes Windy. It's an exciting adventure ahead. We've had all sorts of problems getting here so every day will be a very special one.
  • I couldn't do the sleep training thing either - last night was hideous though. Up and down up and down. I am nodding off now at my desk. ZZZzzzzzzz
  • lardass - whilst there is a lot of negative stuff on here - don't lose sightof the positive stuff - it is a great adventure and if I can give one piece of advice - don't be afraid to ask for help - you can't do it alone - I know I have tried and you can't do it - good luck to you both it really is brilliant.

    Windy comiserations - it is difficult at times but ignote the experts - do what works for you - I have driven up and down Southend Sea front at 3 o'clock in the morning - on many occaisons - once I was even stopped by the police - as they approached the car my son woke again and I basically told them to get in and sort it!

    Fortunately the policeman was a dad of a young child and had sympathy.
  • grendel - i'm doing the southend 10k; my first 10k, so will be very near the back, possibly last but i don't mind as i am looking forward to the post race fish and chips.

    wake up, windy! (just checking)
  • Will look out for the back marker then - it is a good race with well over 1000 runners and pancake flat - normally a nice day too!

    let windy sleep!
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