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Mental illness and running
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well done on the run! feel good about it?
Caz and by'eck - that's sad
. I can't imagine how tough that must be having someone so involved in your life be a trigger.
For me its about something we've mentioned on here before, a sense of injustice. Mr Soup battled with that too in his black dog period. It can get all-consuming and very destructive but hard to deal with. I'm now asking myself "what does that mean to me?" to get to the deep inner belief. So if someone wrongly thinks bad of me, what does it mean to me? And then I challenge that thought, so if I think it makes me an inadequate person I have to look for evidence if that is true. Its not true and not everyone is liked by all, and my friends and husband, and people on here are more important to me. Its taking practice and will get easier if things don't get too ingrained and festered.
I have some handouts about thinking errors in pdf from beating the blues. If anyone here wants to send me their email I will gladly forward them on.
Might take you up that, Soupy.
whats going on???????
ffs - top of the page so still makes no sense.
Time for bed. Night all.
x
You lost for words, Soupy?
Therapy tonight. Think I will get told off
I am lurking.
Having a conversation in my head of do I want to go outside for a walk or stay inside as getting over chest infection. Body is winning at present, meaning staying indoors, but like sight of sunshine but not the wind.
How are you?, hope Moo is over green nasal catepillars now.
Decided in the end to go for the walk, did 30 mins. Enjoyed the sunshine even if I was in it for all of 2-3 minutes. Coughing a bit now, but know that it has done some good although I will need an early night as already tired..
Well done for getting out cj
Good news there, by 'eck.
Doctors appointment didn't amount to much. Had a choice of carrying on as I am, changing medication or going for therapy. My reluctance for therapy is that I would have to come clean at work which I'm trying to avoid. As such, I'm carrying on as I am. My boss is due to be paying a visit to the office in the near future (quite a rare occurance) so I think that's got to be decision time as to whether to talk about it or not.
Rough day since then. It was lunch with colleague day which just made it a long difficult day.
LR -that's a tricky decision. Good luck with it. And sorry it's been a long difficult day...but at least you're through it
Had an odd day. Didn't think I could get out of bed but after much pep talking did, and went on what turned out to be a really, really good run. So that perked me up a lot. Then I dropped a glass, which, well it's not even a nice glass, but got me into such a crying state. Typical over reaction! That's the worst thing about this is you just don't seem able to rationally deal with things. The smallest thing can set you spiraling off... Same with decisions. Always found the smallest decision can leave me completely hopeless, yet on the bigger, less trivial decisions, I actually can rationally think through the pros and cons and reach a conclusion. When it's something completely trivial I just can't cope.
I can relate exactly to small things causing a downward spiral. The fact that I know it's something small that causes such a reaction as well just makes me feel so vulnerable and thinking if I can't cope with that, I can't cope with anything. And it's downhill from there. Just had a quiet lie down as I've got a football match and really needed to be in a better frame of mind for it. Hope it's settled me down enough.
Evening. Yes I can relate to small things setting me off. Decision making too - I'm a lot better now but at one stage just deciding what to wear was too much. And the small things are what so called "well" people just don't understand.
I've had a good day today though. A productive day at work, cycled in and did a half hour lunch time run too which I really enjoyed. Just got back from a curry with friends too so big ticks all round.
Great to hear you've had a good there, Soupy. The black cloud's definitely been back down on me today but I'm making sure I get some quality chill out time at the end of the day. One thought that just occured to me that helps is that I've got a night orienteering event tomorrow night that I'm expected to turn up at. The thing is now that, if I really don't feel like it I can send apologies and people will understand so I don't need to feel any pressure to turn up.
By 'eck - that doesn't sound very helpful from Alice.
Moo ate 2 spoons of beef stew before calling the cat
Where is everyone today?
What were you in trouble for then?