My Last Run

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  • alipat1990alipat1990 ✭✭✭
    Decided to attempt a comeback run this morning. My knee has felt good in recent days so I thought it was time to give it a whirl. Unfortunately my run lasted all of 30 seconds before I called it a day. The pain instantly came back and I really didn't want to risk causing any extra damage. I guess I will give it another week and try again. If things still haven't improved after that it will be a trip to the physio again. 
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    Sorry to hear that, alipat. You might want to ask your physio to refer you for a scan.

    Apologies for the cut and paste (I posted on Shades thread first, and I am too tired to type it all out with slightly different wording) but today was the Weald Challenge half. - my first proper trail race. I have done "trail" races on Wimbledon Common - in so far as they're on trail and not on hard path at all, but nothing prepared me for this.

    The Weald Challenge is located somewhere in Sussex (not far, as it turns out, from Lewes, where my parents lived when I was born. I consider myself a Londoner as we moved to the Smoke when I was 18 months, but technically, I'm from Sussex). My clubmate Lorna picked me up from Sutton station, where she lives (it's a 20 minute train journey from me) and then drove us there, which is just as well as it's a small village I'd have struggled to get to under my own steam.

    Base was a school and we got our numbers and dumped our bags in the gym before heading out for the briefing.

    I was intending to take it easy - I figured marathon pace would be fine, but oh how wrong I was about that!

    The first little bit was on road before turning up a track through some fields. Initially I was running strongly and keeping to my pace, even as we came to the first of what turned out to be many, many stiles.
    But then, after mile 3, we started running through farmland, down very narrow, rutted tracks between crops of something or other, and I had to slow right down. Occassionally we would pass through copses which were invariably full of tree roots, nettles and god knows what (so glad I wore calf sleeves). I decided it was pointless trying to chase a time so I decided I was just going to enjoy. That was a bit tricky as my achilles, unamused by the terrain, started playing merry hell and I ended up walking one uphill stretch - something I did a few times later in the run, especially if the track was narrow or tricky.

    After two very slow (11 and then 12:23) miles I picked up some pace on a grassy downhill section, after which came the first aid station (this was 6.5 miles in so I was glad I had my bottle belt as it was warm and I'd drunk a lot of my water by that point).
    I stopped there to drink and refill my bottles and also ate some watermelon and a little bit of flapjack (since I wasn't going to break any records, why not experiment to see what my stomach would tolerate?)
    My tum seemed to deal with these just fine - after all, I wasn't going very fast! I think I spent two minutes at the aid station so that mile was over 15 minutes.
    After that point I was mostly 11 minute miling (there was one 12, but I guess I walked a little bit of that).

    Then we hit a nice bit of downhill tarmac road so I decided to let my legs loose. Disaster! After passing a few runners I caught my foot on an uneven bit at the side of the road and stacked it. I landed hard on my side. I grazed my knee and elbow and burst some blood vessels in my palm but it was my right hip that took the brunt of it and it's still very sore now. But the runners around me helped me up and I continued without losing too much pace. I was more embarrassed than anything, having survived all the lumps and bumps and roots only to fall on a road.

    I continued to pass a few people as we turned back onto track and then off them again as we headed back towards the village. 13.1 miles came and went with no sight of the finish so I started to wonder if I'd gone wrong but as it turned out, it was a bit longer than a half - my watch made it 13.66.

    Came into the finish and got a big cheer (as did everyone who finished after me). Got my medal and mug (it's a nice rustic pottery mug, not your mass produced kind), found Lorna, who was about 10 minutes in front of me, and another runner from my club who was 4th overall, and then went and availed ourselves of coffee and cake. There was a lot of cake and, luckily for me, the lady who bakes them is coeliac so there were plenty of gluten free ones as well as vegan cakes (there were quite a lot of Vegan Runners there).
    Also took a trip to the first aider who cleaned my grazes before getting in the car to go home.

    My finishing time was 2:30:21 so it's my slowest half, bar Royal Parks which I power-walked when I had my hip injury. But, fall aside, I enjoyed it.
    There was a 50K ultra running alongside us (they went off a bit earlier) and while I'd be up for another trail race, I don't think I'd fancy 50K on that terrain. It wasn't too hilly but it was very challenging with the unevent terrain. Aside from the growly achilles, my left foot is a bit grumpy now so I think with that and the lumps and bruises, I'll take a few days off from running.
    I am bloody knackered.
  • JD1JD1 ✭✭✭
    Blimey,Cal,that sounded brutal,well done for finishing.Hope your hip is ok.Trail running is a total different beast to the road.You definitely deserved your cake. 

    Fantastic result,Hazelnut,and second for your age category,that's brilliant.


    Really sorry to hear about your problems,Linton.Personally I wouldn't run for a few days and then take stock towards the end of the week,see how you feel.You seem to be running on a empty tank,maybe over training.

    Glad you and your parents enjoyed your holiday,envruk.Took my girls to Orlando last year,rides don't usually bother me but there's a new one in Sea World which left my stomach on the floor.Nothing worse when a shoelace comes undone,well done anyway.

    Sorry to hear about your knee,alipat,so frustrating for you.Try and get a scan on it before you try and run on it again.

    5.2 miles this afternoon,nice to be out but my back isn't right still.Had a few races lined up over the next few weeks but decided not going to do them now.





  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Not good alipat, good you stopped. Do yu have a diagnosis of any sort as to what it might be?

    Great trail HM Cal and a nice report too.  Bad luck on the fall, must have been a bit of a shock, hope nothing hurts too much this evening.  Good you could enjoy some cake.  Fall and ups and downs aside you might find you recover fairly quickly as you didn't have the pounding of a tarmac HM.  But why not a few days break?

    Maybe your back will improve in time for a race or two JD. 

    Just short of 7.5 miles this afternoon.  My second soaking of the day. I had been out on a 16 mile trundle on my bike with OH over midday, during which the rain arrived earlier than forecasted and it hasn't really stopped since.  Not cold though, just kept the pace up high enough to be comfortably warm, shouldn't work too hard a couple of days after a hard HM anyway.  Unsurprisingly didn't meet too many people. Just one other runner with a nice rear end he was faster than me up the hill though.
  • JD1JD1 ✭✭✭
    Do you have anymore races lined up,Hazelnut,you're in really good form at the moment.

    8.1 miles this afternoon,lovely weather,other parts of the country have been drenched.Think we're getting the rain tomorrow.Canal was very busy with boaters,walkers and cyclists.Back was a bit better but going to rest it tomorrow.
  • enrvukenrvuk ✭✭✭
    Hazel, congrats on a brilliant HM. To knock a minute of a course record is something. Getting your 2nd best HM on a hilly course is also impressive. You must be set for a PR when you run on a flat course. Shame you didn’t have the legs to keep up with the nice rear though!

    Cal, yes it would be really cool to meet up for a Parkrun somewhere. I’m working towards tourist status (20) but still have 11 to go! Quite impressed with the 5k/10k plan, but I’m sure it would be too hot for me by the second event. I’ll keep you posted on my plans. Sorry to hear about your misadventure, but it sounds like a fun today and a real challenge/change from a flat, dull course.

    Ali, that is very frustrating, only good thing is that you stopped so quickly and probably avoided further damage.

    JD1, glad the back was easier, that’s promising. Hope you get to one of your races. It’s so true that staying injury free is the hardest part of running. As for Orlando, I think it’s okay if your stomach hits the floor, just as long as the contents doesn’t! 

    I ran a Long Slow 14.5k including warm up yesterday, which is the longest since my HM. It was heart rate based and I could feel the Parkrun in my legs a little. Probably my slowest run ever, but I’m fine with that. It was a wet day, but it didn’t bother me too much. I was also glad to see that Trump’s wall has gone from Regents Park. Jolly decent of him to visit while I was in NY!
  • Mine was a casual after work 5k. I was quite tired but pushed myself to do it and it felt really nice I must admit. :smiley:
  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    JD good news on the back.  You were lucky with the weather along the canal - I saw a good comment on strava from another canal runner who got so wet on his run he might have been in the canal rather than next to it.
    My hill race series continues at the end of the month and I will be looking around for another HM for the autumn and will start to work towards that in a few weeks. 

    Nice long run enrvuk.

    Welcome Chr1stinaV1t.  Well done on getting the 5k done. 

    Standard group outing yesterday evening - 6 and a bit miles in just under an hour running time.  Nice chat with others but got into a bit of a race up the final hills which I hadn't planned on.  Legs seemed to cope with it ok though. 
  • JD1JD1 ✭✭✭

    Getting caught up in a 'race' when out with a group run happens often at my running club,Hazelnut,usually the guys start it and it gets faster and faster.

    Looking to race a 5k road race next month and 10k August.

    4.45 fairly hilly miles this afternoon,pushed the pace a bit,which I haven't done for a few weeks.Came to an abrupt stop when I had to wade 20 metres through flood water up to my knees but my trainers look really clean now.

    My back seems much better,didn't feel it going up the hills,but not going to risk it with classes this week.

  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Good news on the back JD - be careful of the jarring down the hills.

    5 and a bit miles recovery yesterday afternoon - an out and back along a local brook.  The track next to it has been resurfaced recently - would be an excellent surface for some intervals - hope it stays that way in the next couple of weeks until I get back to doing some.  Managed to pace the recovery run decently - legs felt fine and I had to concentrate not to run too fast.
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    Welcome Christina.
    JD, does that count as an aquathlon?
    enrvuk - my next parkrun is going to be Bethlem Hospital. It's rather south for you but there's a direct train (Eden Park) from London Bridge.
    Hazelnut, that's one reason I don't do a lot of running with my club (well that and no one seems to run at my pace).

    Took three days off after the trail half. Bruises are going down - hip is still sore to the touch but doesn't hurt to move around with. Achilles still grouchy but I've been on top of the mobility work.
    Got out for 4 miles today and was pleasantly surprised that I don't feel at all sluggish. Stride length was good so I think the drills may be helping.
  • enrvukenrvuk ✭✭✭
    JD1, great news on the back! Hope the progress continues. Good running and wading.

    Good miles and impromptu racing Hazel, sounds like you're in the groove. I'm signed up for St. Neots in November and Bournemouth in early October. Seems to be tons of choice out there.

    Cal, I've got a heavy night tomorrow night (beer and seafood), I suspect parkrun will be out this week. According to this tool https://touristtool.mybluemix.net/ Bethlem is my 42nd nearest unvisited Parkrun! Keep me posted though. Pleased that your injuries are calming down and not affecting your running. Look forward to the parkrun report.

    I ran a new workout from 80/20. It was a 'fast' finish 5. In other words, 5 minutes at Heart Rate Zone 1, 25 mins in Zone 2 and then 12 in Zone 3. Managed 7k, which was mainly down to the cooler weather. I really notice that my HR is very temperature dependent. 


  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Nice to have a race to look forward to and work towards enrvuk.  I was eyeing up several coming up in the next weeks but I'm trying not to do too many and concentrate on the more important ones.  I think I race about 15 times a year.   Not that often in comparison I guess.   Nice running - fast finish workouts can be tough but are very useful I find.

    The days off seemed to have done you good Cal. 

    2 x 10k for me yesterday afternoon.  I have a difficult hill race coming up at the end of June (lots of long steep climbing rather than technically difficult) so I decided I need some practice.  10k up to a local high point with just short of 400m of ascent, most of it as of km4, in 01:02.  Ran (or sometimes shuffle-jogged) the whole way and was happy enough with how it went.  Then walked up the 50m wooden tower to enjoy the view for a few minutes before returning in 00:57.   The return trip has a sting in its tail:  The last 4km to home also involve an uphill - the cause of much grumbling on previous runs but I didn't struggle too much this time.   Nice day for it - warm and sunny but with enough of a breeze to cool me down without being a hinderance.
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    I bet all that hill running has made you strong, Hazelnut.
    enrvuk - I have 15 more parkruns until I'm Lon-done, but that's if they don't add new ones. There's been rumours of a Battersea parkrun for a while now. Council has okayed it but no news about if/when it'll start.

    Went out today despite feeling quite sore from yesterday's yoga class. I did a lot of drills before going out so was well warmed-up but legs felt tired as I got to the third mile so decided to end it at 3 rather than do 4 as planned. Don't want to be too knackered when I have a parkrun and a longer Sunday run coming.
  • JD1JD1 ✭✭✭

    Cal,that's good news on the bruises.Do you get a t shirt or something for completing all the London parkruns.

    That's a good run,envruk,upping the pace in a run is very beneficial.Are your races HM?Enjoy your night out.

    That's a tough run,Hazelnut.Nothing better in taking in a view for a few minutes.

    Just over 6 miles yesterday,all very easy miles.Didn't have time for a run today,off to a dog festival tomorrow so no running.So I've planned a long run for Sunday and that will be the start of my marra training.

  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Hope you had a good parkrun Cal.

    Exciting to be starting your mara training JD.  Which one is it again?

    4 miles recovery yesterday.  Should have taken it slower than normal as it was warm and humid so less of a recovery really. Saw two big blue-green dragonflies having a fight.  Elderflower shrubs were very pungent.

    Rest day today, something medium long planned for tomorrow.
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    JD, nah, but if you have the parkrun challenges browser extention, you get a Regionnaire badge. (The extension, for Chrome or Firefox, is here if anyone wants it: https://running-challenges.co.uk/) It's more for personal challenge.
    Enjoy the doggos.
    Nice nature spot, Hazelnut.
    Crappy parkrun today. It was a new one (on event 4) at Bethlem Royal Hospital - that's the mental health hospital, aka Bedlam. Lovely grounds with a rural feel so all on grass which was rather moist after this week's deluge. Figure-8 course which had to be done twice, and the pinch point was a big muddy puddle I had to walk over four times since I was in road shoes. Some gradients so rather similar to Orpington which I did last week. Nice setting but not the kind of course I run well on, and especially not today as it was warm and very humid.
    OK first mile but then I just felt really knackered and got slower and slower. Worst thing, though, was my achilles started screaming once I'd finished and really wasn't happy, so I may be looking at more time off (not ideal - I have a club relay next week and then a 10 miler on the Sunday, neither of which I want to miss).
    Slightly better time than Orpington at 26:53, but still poor by my standards. I really should have taken more time after Liverpool instead of thrashing myself with more races. Idiotic mistake.

  • enrvukenrvuk ✭✭✭
    Cal, that's good progress on Lon-done! You seem fatigued. That Parkrun doesn't sound like a lot of fun in the wet and considering you were tired the day before, doesn't seem so bad a time. Do you have a pair of trail shoes? Wondering if I need them to run more tourist parkruns. Hope the achilles isn't too serious, perhaps a couple of days of full rest are needed.

    Hi JD1, yes Bournemouth and St. Neots are both HM, I do have a couple of 10Ks booked too. One at the Olympic Velopark and the other in Hyde Park which I'm using to encourage my team at work to be more active. Having said that, I'll  probably be last of those that run the 10k! Proper HM training starts two weeks today for 15 weeks.
    Very exciting to be starting your marathon training, look forward to seeing the progress. 

    Hazel, 15 races sounds like a nice number, if you don't count Parkruns. With the HM in March, two more halves (October and November) and a few 10ks, I think I should have done 7-8 this year, but it is my first year. It is great to have something to aim for and test yourself on. Impressive work on the 2x10Ks, especially with that tough ending!

    An easy 5k and a faster 7k from me over the last couple of days. Managed to get wet on both of the runs, which I don't mind at all. It keeps it a little cooler and with the HR based training I'm doing it allows me to go a little faster, which always feels nice. 
    Just realised that with my increasing run-load I need two pairs of trainers on the go. 
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    enrvuk (wish you'd picked an easier name to type!) - I do have some trail shoes but they have a 4mm drop and I was trying not to annoy the achilles even more. My Epics and Zoom flys have a 10mm drop which is generally better. But achilles decided it hated me anyway. Ah...
    Deffo get more trainers. Currently I have: Nike Frees (used to wear them all the time but they don't come out much now due to the low drop), Nike Epic React (cushioned by light - use for most things and ran Liverpool in them). I have an old, old pair with over 700 miles on them which I've used when it's mucky out, and a newer pair which is now up to 550m (Epics are, according to Nike, good for 600 miles but I've found I can get more out of them). I just took delivery of a brand new pair so old old pair will be retired and 550 mile pair will become the dirty weather shoes. Then I have old Zoom Flys (over 400m) which I just use for parkrun now and Zoom Fly flyknits which I used for Vienna Marathon but found they battered my feet a bit. They'll take over from the old pair as the parkrun and short race shoe as I also have a pair of Vaporflys which have one parkrun and one half marathon on them but haven't done anything more to date. Oh and the trail shoes. Used these a lot in 2015 so no idea on the mileage as I mostly use road shoes now, but I've dug them out for the odd muddy parkrun. I also have a box fresh pair of those sat in the cupboard.
    Um...I have a lot of shoes.
  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Cal the warmth and humidity won't have helped you at your parkrun if you are generally fatigued.  Do you have a break from racing planned in the next few weeks? 

    Several pairs of shoes are definitely a good thing.  Hmm - I have 3 pairs of trail shoes - 1 old but much loved for rocky conditions (La Sportiva Bushido), one fairly old pair of Scott Kinabalu which I am not keen on and don't use very often and an almost new pair of Saucony Peregrines.  Road shoes: an older pair of Brooks Launch 5 (recovery runs),  a pair of Brooks Launch 6 (everyday but getting towards 450 miles), Brooks Ravenna 10 (everyday, fairly new) and New Balance 1500 V4 (road races up to HM).

    Your race plans sound sensible enrvuk.  I like to have a couple of goal races a year, a few tune-ups for those, and maybe try out a new race or two.  I also have my regional hill race series - up to 10 this year but I won't run all of them. 

    10 miles yesterday afternoon.  Pretty warm and sunny again (slight sunburn on one shoulder) and I came home covered in salt.  The middle 5 miles were run at around MP or slightly faster - felt very much like hard work.    
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    I have no races for the last week in June... :D
    I emailed my physio and he suggested I might want to skip the two races I have this week but gave me some isometric exercises (just standing on tiptoes, leg straight and then leg bent, for 40-60 seconds). I did this last night and then again today. It may be helping already as my achilles wasn't as sore this morning, but I'll not risk running just yet. I'll see how it feels tomorrow.
    I was hoping to do a run today as it's my birthday but it's not worth stressing my injury for that so I'm just doing my rehab.
  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Oh - Happy Birthday Cal!  Hope you have a nice day despite not being able to run.
  • JD1JD1 ✭✭✭
    Happy Birthday,Cal,hope you had a lovely day and your achilles is behaving itself.

    envruk,you always need a few trainers on the go,.I usually stick with Saucony.When I retire them from running they become my gym trainers until they fall off my feet.

    Nice running,Hazelnut,no chance of getting sunburnt over here.I'm doing the Chester marathon in October.

    16.5 miles on Sunday.The last few miles were uncomfortable but got my first marathon training run ticked off.Have to admit I was thinking I couldn't do another 10 miles on top,but I'm sure it'll get better over the next few weeks.
    Woke up Monday morning and my legs felt slightly sore,so it was a gentle 4.35 this afternoon.






  • JD1JD1 ✭✭✭
    Sorry,17.5 on Sunday.
  • Woohoo! I did it!!

    Last time I posted I was fed up due to being injured and generally exhausted.  Some people said I should have a break and they were definitely right.

    I think when I started running in February I hit it way too hard too quickly, predictably injured myself, and after that I never really gave myself the chance to recover properly just tried to push on. As soon as spring came I upped my mileage a bit and started doing some events which probably didn't help.

    It was taking me longer and longer to recover from any runs around the 10 mile mark and my shins and left ankle always hurt and only from doing 15-20 miles a week.

    As recommend, I took a full week off then went back to 3 and 4 mile runs before my first half marathon on sunday (Saxon shore) and completed it! I was quite nervous as the furthest I've ran is 11.75 miles but I did get round in a very underwhelming 2:17 and 430 out of 630 odd,  That said, I was well pleased as my only goal was to get round with no walking and there was a reasonable headwind. My plan was to go out super cautiously and then at mile 10 have loads left and finish strong, in reality I was properly knackered and a bit wobbly when I crossed the line, clearly a long way to go training wise.

    The best runners there were incredible, coming back past me so early. I think the winner was about 1:13.

    I loved the event, and although I'm a much better 10k runner it felt like a decent achievement to me when I crossed the line.

    I'm going to try and stick to 2 x 5/6 milers, and 1 x 10 miler a week, and do a half every month or thereabouts until October. Then (if they've gone well and I'm fit) start thinking about maybe a spring marathon!?! That said, the thought of running that distance again back to back?
    Just. No!


    I haven't posted for a while so lots of posts but glad everyone is for the most part happy and well.



  • HazelnutCHHazelnutCH ✭✭✭
    Good long run JD. Over time those 17.5 will feel a lot easier.

    Great news regarding your half LTT.  Well done!  Your first half and your longest ever run in combination is a great achievement.  Recover well - just some gentle running for a few days is a good idea.

    Regarding doing a half every month: that is quite a bit if you plan to race them - I would personally treat some at least as training runs over the distance but not full out efforts. 

    8 miles for me late yesterday afternoon - very warm and sunny so I got the bike out and headed for a localish river to take advantage of the shade provided by the tree lined banks and the flat nature of the route.  Nice running through the green tunnels - had to keep an eye open for errant twigs sticking into my path from the side and roots trying to trip me up from below. 
  • JT141JT141 ✭✭✭
    Hello. It's been a while. Not much running this year so figured if I post it might encourage me. And in spite of more regular gym work I feel kinda fat. 10 miles a few days ago after a spell of illness. Slow and I tweaked my knee. Had a go on one of those curved manual treadmills yesterday. Felt very weird at first. Saw a fox cub in the street recently, I have an infection in both ears, and the neighbour's cat has had all his teeth taken out.
  • enrvukenrvuk ✭✭✭
    Happy birthday Cal, I hope you had a great time, even without running and took the opportunity to treat yourself to some shoes! Sorry about my name, but you can blame my parents. EN RV is my name in four letters, say each letter individually. Easier when you know it. UK is where I live.

    You are the Imelda Marcos of running, I am impressed! Do your non-running shoes match up?

    I'm definitely going to get another pair of my Brooks shoes (thanks all for the comments) so that I can cycle them. My current pair are about 570km in, so life in them yet. I may invest in some trail shoes later in the year. I'm clearly ill equipped. 

    Nice running JD1, you are doing the kind of runs I'd love to be able to do. I can't imagine 26.2 miles ever feels that doable! October is a long way off thankfully and you sound in a very good space for now.

    Hazel, good form as ever. Nice route, but I'd end up blind, tripped up and probably swimming! Also impressed with your shoe collection. 

    JT141, sorry about the cat, how does a cat with no teeth eat?

    Well done Linton, congrats on the HM finish. If you listen to your body and rest when needed, it sounds like you are going to really enjoy your running. 

    I am getting into my 80/20 training plan for October's HM. Since my last post I've run a 7k 'foundation' run which is mainly in HR Zone 2 and today was a 'long interval' which included 5x3m in HR Zone 4. I am really getting on with the HR Zone based training. I can finally run at the slower pace when needed, just by keeping my HR in zone. 
  • JT141JT141 ✭✭✭
    Hello En. The cat gums his dinner into submission. I tickled his belly today which he really loves for several seconds before trying to rip my fingers to the bone. Got myself out for 8 miles tonight. Soft pace again. Mild and quiet evening. Lots of runners around the banks of the river. When I'm not running great I like being where other people are. I've got antibiotic drops for my ears, competing for space with the crap that's leaking out of them.
  • Cal JonesCal Jones ✭✭✭
    Ah, so it's Ian! No, my non-running shoes are retired running shoes. I do have a couple of pairs of sandals for if I ever have to wear anything ladylike, but that hasn't happened in a good while. And also some old cowboy boots from the 1990s back when I used to squeeze myself into leather trousers.  Now it's all about tracky bottoms and comfort.
    JT, sorry you and the cat are in the wars. Belly tickles are risky business.
    Linton, well done on Saxon Shore! I saw pics of the medal on Facebook - looks cool. I think overdoing it is what's got me in trouble. My brain still thinks I'm 25, not 52. (For the record, I did my first half in 2:18 - I'm well under 2 now so there's plenty of hope for you!)
    Haven't run for three days. I don't like this.

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