Best one I heard was 'I was late for work because my new girlfriend realy wanted some and you know how it is chef I couldn't leave her at the height of passions and had to sort her out'.
He got away with it every time, worse is that his girlfriend really was that good looking and he actually swore it wasn't an excuse but fact. God did I hate him...
True story..in my youth I worked in a glass factory. An employee left the factory without permission, to go 30 yards down the street to the barbers. When he came back the supervisor was waiting for him.. 'Ted, where the hell do you think you've been?' 'I've been for my haircut down the road' 'You know that is not allowed during working hours.' 'But my hair does grow in working hours' he protested. 'But it dosen't all grow in working hours' replied the supervisor. That's all right then' said Ted 'I didn't have it all cut off'.
Another one..chap turns in 1 hour late on the 6-2 shift 'Sorry I'm late, been having trouble with me head.' 'Migrane' enquired the supervisor. 'No, I couldn't lift it off the pillow'
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'I was late for work because my new girlfriend realy wanted some and you know how it is chef I couldn't leave her at the height of passions and had to sort her out'.
He got away with it every time, worse is that his girlfriend really was that good looking and he actually swore it wasn't an excuse but fact. God did I hate him...
'Ted, where the hell do you think you've been?'
'I've been for my haircut down the road'
'You know that is not allowed during working hours.'
'But my hair does grow in working hours' he protested.
'But it dosen't all grow in working hours' replied the supervisor.
That's all right then' said Ted 'I didn't have it all cut off'.
Another one..chap turns in 1 hour late on the 6-2 shift 'Sorry I'm late, been having trouble with me head.'
'Migrane' enquired the supervisor.
'No, I couldn't lift it off the pillow'
Full respect to you Mr. Santa!
Yes I got away with it, but best only to use it once. ;-)