As an older runner I would have thought you'd recognise me from when you had to watch tv in the 60's with your brood. Arch enemy of that do-gooding bunch the Tracy gang. Able to control folk with an evil stare and 300000 pages of HR training recommendations as provided by my new disiciple.
Piglet come back, no-one really eats P**** S*****ings, they just talk about them and spit out bits of their teeth. Don't worry - just concentrate on having a good chew on the action pig, or whatever else you want to do to/with him
sfh, I remember you. There was anaccompaniment everywhere you went, an assistant who used to say, "Eeeet will be a greaaaat disaaaaaster" And, of course, it was. I had a crush on Scott. Can you believe it - on a puppet??????
There's a famous seaside town called Blackpool, That's noted for fresh air and fun, And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Went there with young Albert, their son.
-= o =-
A grand little lad was young Albert All dressed in his best; quite a swell With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
-= o =-
They didn't think much to the Ocean The waves, they were fiddlin' and small There was no wrecks and nobody drownded Fact, nothing to laugh at, at all.
-= o =-
So, seeking for further amusement They paid and went to the zoo Where they'd lions and tigers and camels And old ale and sandwiches too.
-= o =-
There were one great big lion called Wallace His nose were all covered with scars He lay in a somnolent posture With the side of his face on the bars.
-= o =-
Now Albert had heard about lions How they was ferocious and wild To see Wallace lying so peaceful Well, it didn't seem right to the child.
-= o =-
So straight 'way the brave little feller Not showing a morsel of fear Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle And shoved it in Wallace's ear.
-= o =-
You could see the lion didn't like it For giving a kind of a roll He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im And swallowed the little lad 'ole
-= o =-
Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence And didn't know what to do next Said "Mother! Yon lions 'et Albert" And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!"
-= o =-
Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Quite rightly, when all's said and done Complained to the Animal Keeper That the lion had eaten their son.
-= o =-
The keeper was quite nice about it He said "What a nasty mishap Are you sure it's your boy he's eaten?" Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!"
-= o =-
The manager had to be sent for He came and he said "What's to do?" Pa said "Yon lion's 'et Albert And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."
-= o =-
Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller I think it's a shame and a sin For a lion to go and eat Albert And after we've paid to come in."
-= o =-
The manager wanted no trouble He took out his purse right away Saying "How much to settle the matter?" And Pa said "What do you usually pay?"
-= o =-
But Mother had turned a bit awkward When she thought where her Albert had gone She said "No! someone's got to be summonsed" So that was decided upon.
-= o =-
Then off they went to the Police Station In front of the Magistrate chap They told 'im what happened to Albert And proved it by showing his cap.
-= o =-
The Magistrate gave his opinion That no one was really to blame And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms Would have further sons to their name.
-= o =-
At that Mother got proper blazing "And thank you, sir, kindly," said she "What waste all our lives raising children To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"
Merkat, I think I have posted elsewhere about "Ron the pod" - expensive but illuminating, and my next pic will probably be my "Fat Little Ankles", cos I don't know many men who get paid lots of money for drawing lines on women's legs and then being allowed to take photos of same. Honest Mum, it's 'Science'!
He didn't tell me I was mad, so "FLA" is still on for the FLM, but not, sadly the Watford Half.
Chimp - my favourite closing lines. I will resist the urge to post poetry until I get home, and as I'm now officially a 'girly' you may not like what I post - it's a bit drippy. Now that would be a nice wind up for the hooligan thread... thinks... evile grin...
Comments
Helen W, if you're about, I'd love to hear how your visit to Ron the Pod went...
OMG I'm a clone. Or he's my dad...
I, on the other hand, will not, as I am a little piglet.
Therefore, please send all prize sugar and biccies to me
Oh, JJ <tremble>..... I don't like that p...p....po..... nasty word.
<piglet turns tail and trots away, crying>
trot trot trot
trot trot trot
trot trot trot
..
<sound of distant snuffling>
.
As an older runner I would have thought you'd recognise me from when you had to watch tv in the 60's with your brood. Arch enemy of that do-gooding bunch the Tracy gang. Able to control folk with an evil stare and 300000 pages of HR training recommendations as provided by my new disiciple.
Piglet come back, no-one really eats P**** S*****ings, they just talk about them and spit out bits of their teeth. Don't worry - just concentrate on having a good chew on the action pig, or whatever else you want to do to/with him
<piglet wipes snout on JJ's sleeve>
Ok, then! I'm back!!! Hehe hehehehehe <hic>...
Meerkat - many thanks for the Action Pig wrapped in the HH Wicking Undies: a v. cunning ploy indeed
<munch munch>
The Action Pig tastes great, but the HH Wicking Undies are a little bit stringy.
Right, I'm off to relax in the trough with a good book
<piglet profers trotter draped with little bits of semi masticated wicking undies>
Enjoy :-)
No, really! You're welcome :-)
Not me obviously. I'm an eejit but wee piglet and Helen Wheels look creative, windswept and interesting types.
Reckon Meerkat could rustle up a haiku or two as well.
Now how does it go?
"I wondered lonely as a runner....."
by
Marriott Edgar
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's a famous seaside town called Blackpool,
That's noted for fresh air and fun,
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Went there with young Albert, their son.
-= o =-
A grand little lad was young Albert
All dressed in his best; quite a swell
With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle
The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
-= o =-
They didn't think much to the Ocean
The waves, they were fiddlin' and small
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded
Fact, nothing to laugh at, at all.
-= o =-
So, seeking for further amusement
They paid and went to the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels
And old ale and sandwiches too.
-= o =-
There were one great big lion called Wallace
His nose were all covered with scars
He lay in a somnolent posture
With the side of his face on the bars.
-= o =-
Now Albert had heard about lions
How they was ferocious and wild
To see Wallace lying so peaceful
Well, it didn't seem right to the child.
-= o =-
So straight 'way the brave little feller
Not showing a morsel of fear
Took his stick with its 'orse's 'ead 'andle
And shoved it in Wallace's ear.
-= o =-
You could see the lion didn't like it
For giving a kind of a roll
He pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
And swallowed the little lad 'ole
-= o =-
Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence
And didn't know what to do next
Said "Mother! Yon lions 'et Albert"
And Mother said "Well, I am vexed!"
-= o =-
Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
Quite rightly, when all's said and done
Complained to the Animal Keeper
That the lion had eaten their son.
-= o =-
The keeper was quite nice about it
He said "What a nasty mishap
Are you sure it's your boy he's eaten?"
Pa said "Am I sure? There's his cap!"
-= o =-
The manager had to be sent for
He came and he said "What's to do?"
Pa said "Yon lion's 'et Albert
And 'im in his Sunday clothes, too."
-= o =-
Then Mother said, "Right's right, young feller
I think it's a shame and a sin
For a lion to go and eat Albert
And after we've paid to come in."
-= o =-
The manager wanted no trouble
He took out his purse right away
Saying "How much to settle the matter?"
And Pa said "What do you usually pay?"
-= o =-
But Mother had turned a bit awkward
When she thought where her Albert had gone
She said "No! someone's got to be summonsed"
So that was decided upon.
-= o =-
Then off they went to the Police Station
In front of the Magistrate chap
They told 'im what happened to Albert
And proved it by showing his cap.
-= o =-
The Magistrate gave his opinion
That no one was really to blame
And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
Would have further sons to their name.
-= o =-
At that Mother got proper blazing
"And thank you, sir, kindly," said she
"What waste all our lives raising children
To feed ruddy lions? Not me!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(and how many times have I said THAT!!??)
He didn't tell me I was mad, so "FLA" is still on for the FLM, but not, sadly the Watford Half.