At last after years of being verbally abused by “chavs”et. al on street corners, I finally came up with some sort of revenge!
On Friday evening I was a few miles into a decent run that was going well and I was really enjoying it. I was running through Bourne End when on the opposite side of the road this pikey (who was sat on a wall with his girlfriend) launched into the usual “you f*****g w****r, you f*****g queer, you f*****g loser”, his girlfriend clearly giggling with glee.
I shouted back, “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer, and a f*****g loser, but I can run faster than you and your pet pig”
At which point the girlfriend stopped giggling and said pikey threw down his cigarette and beer can and proceeded to run after me. I let him follow me for several hundred yards (needless to say with a healthy gap between me and him) and when he stopped looking slightly purple around the gills, so did I. I turned round and said “I may be a f*****g w****r, a f*****g queer and a f*****g loser but I can run faster and further than you. Now get back to your pet pig before she gets lonely”
My wife thinks that I should find another route tonight!
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Comments
I think you're wife maybe right about needing another route!!!
Otherwise. it's been nice knowing you.
I'll have your kneecaps if you don't want 'em!
Don't suppose you've got a right foot without plantar fasciitis in a size 8? If so, could I have it?
Have you planned your new route yet?
Bring on the chavs, I can't wait to use that one!!
Good luck !
(btw - a different route would be VERY good, and I'd bin that top you wore for a long time. Hey - any excuse to get new kit !)
Your final sentence makes me think you're not as stupid as I first thought you were.
lol!
5 years on and this still makes me chuckle thinking about it. Fantastic.
Very good
I had a similar run in recently where a group of chavs saw me running and crossed over to where I was and deliberately got in my way, presumably to start a fight or something. Didn't work very well though, I avoided the first 3 and ran smack bang in to the last 2 knocking one of them flying (they deliberately blocked the path completely and stopped next to a parked car so I couldn't even avoid them). They shouted some abuse but I was long gone at this point.
A mate of mine was running a few years ago when a lad started running alongside him, shoving him and calling him gay names (what is it with weird folk associating running with being gay?). He simply stopped running, turned to face the lad and booted him full on in the knackers. No more trouble from him
Thankfully these things don't happen often but it is irritating.
had similar a few years ago - some chav strutting along the pavement towards me with his pet pig in tow and not a lot of space between the wall on one side and parked cars on the other. he had that "I'm not moving look" on his face so I just shouted "you'd best move as I'm not stopping" - he didn't and neither did I, so he got 16 stone of prop forward bodycheck into his right side and went flying. much to the hilarious giggles of his pet pig....I ran on with a smile....