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Categories
Musical Jokes
in Clubhouse
Ukulele
What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?
A ukulele burns faster.
Banjo
What is the definition of perfect pitch?
When you throw a ukulele in a refuse skip and it hits a banjo.
Harmonica
How do you know when a harmonica player is at the door?
He can never find the key and he comes in whenever he likes.
Cowbell
What's brown and sounds like a cowbell? Dung.
Bongos
What is the best thing to play bongos with?
Razor blades.
Tambourine
How do you keep two tambourine players in time?
Shoot one of them.
What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?
A ukulele burns faster.
Banjo
What is the definition of perfect pitch?
When you throw a ukulele in a refuse skip and it hits a banjo.
Harmonica
How do you know when a harmonica player is at the door?
He can never find the key and he comes in whenever he likes.
Cowbell
What's brown and sounds like a cowbell? Dung.
Bongos
What is the best thing to play bongos with?
Razor blades.
Tambourine
How do you keep two tambourine players in time?
Shoot one of them.
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Comments
Man behind the counter says "You're a drummer aren't you?"
Bloke admits that he is - but asks how he could tell.
"Easy he says - this is a newsagents"
Boom and indeed ...boom (albeit slightly late)
one tucks up the frills...
how can you tell when a drummer is at the door?
the knocking gets faster and faster
one for choral singers, how may altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
none - they just stand there and say "ooh, that's too high"
You don't cry when you're chopping up a violin.
even the sewing-machine is a singer.....
You only need to punch the information into a drum machine once.
Puts on her clothes and goes home.
What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Phrases you never hear: 'That's the banjo player's Porsche'.
How do you make a jazz player a millionaire? Give him 2 million.
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer.
You take your shoes off before jumping up and down on a trampoline.
*How does a viola player ensure free car parking?
They put their viola case on the dash board.
*What's the difference between the front of the viola section and the back?
About a second.
The director says,"Sure, you can join the trombone section."
The guy replies, "But I don't play the trombone."
"Well," the director replies "Neither does anyone in our trombone section!!!"
A trombone player walks past a bar,........ Yeah, right!!
Why do people play trombone?
Because they can't move their fingers and read music at the same time.
The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!" The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!" The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?" Wild-eyed, the boy responds,
" . . . BASS SOLO!!!"
Bach in a Minuet