Don’t think badly of me for this. I can’t help that I am but a puerile individual who is 36 going on 12. I do wonder about the wisdom of posting this…but not that much.
I don’t know about anyone else but I find that whilst out on training runs, particularly on my early Sunday morning long jaunt, I am often prone to flatulence of ear splitting resonance. Now this is where the puerile bit comes in…I use this flatulence, when it occurs (I hasten to add that it’s not all the time and that the ozone layer is relatively intact above my head!) to amuse myself when the running gets hard.
How? I try to make different sounds (e.g. long and drawn out so it sounds like a motorbike) or save it for underpasses or tunnels to see what sort of echo I get. Suffice to say there are generally not many people about…that is by virtue of the time of day as opposed to as a result of my filthy habit.
Up until now though I’ve never experienced flatulence during a race or whilst on a treadmill in the gym. This morning though, it happened in the gym. A sudden welling up followed by the expelling of intestinal gases. As I had headphones on at the time I have no idea how noisy the fart was. As more were to follow I took my headphones off and tried to regain some control and composure.
I don’t know if anyone heard. There weren’t that many people in the gym this morning. I made a show of not being in the least bit bothered and carried on manfully with my speed-work, but I’ve decided that running-related flatulence is far more fun outside than in.
HH
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Comments
Is there a verb derived from flatulence? Perhaps in fact it is related to the flute as you do get a "flautist" though "flatulist" does have a certain ring (as does a Hobbit of course).
As has been mentioned many times on the forum there's nothing like a run to get the digestive system doing its thing. As you observed, there's nothing wrong with letting it rip when you're out in the open air with only the birdies to frighten. But I really should apologise to anyone who frequents my gym... Even though I might try to be polite, somehow I just can't help it sneaking out... unlike you HH mine tend to be totally silent but very, very potent!!! In true 12 year old fashion I acted innocent and kept on running! Oops!
http://www.abc.net.au/science/k2/homework/s312551.htm
How do you post a link?
http://www.createafart.com
Still, that said, I'd have an excuse for farting in the gym. I'd just have to be careful not to get my ging-gangs caught in the belt.........though I don't often kneel down on the treadmil
www.turdtwister.com
It's just amazing what some people think up....but I don't think I'd want to run with one inserted!
As for farting in the gym, on the road or wherever, just remember the old adage
"where ere you be let your wind blow free
in church or chapel, let it rapple"
www.mrmethane.com
He claims to be "the world's only performing flatulist". The video clips are hysterical.
not when i last looked!
definitely not roses. perhaps dead skunk would be more accurate!
I am fully aware of the ability of many women to fart with alacrity....believe me I am!