My wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to me. 'Buy me a surprise for my birthday!', she said. 'Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds! And I would prefer a blue one!' Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday. And finally she got the beautiful present I'd thoughtfully bought her......
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'Buy me a surprise for my birthday!', she said.
'Something that accelerates from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds! And I would prefer a blue one!'
Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.
And finally she got the beautiful present I'd thoughtfully bought her......
A blue set of weighing scales from Argos.
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Puzzled but willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and
stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?" I ask.
"They will grow larger over a period of years, " he replies.
I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your backside, didn't it?"