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  • Minks did manage the runs I needed to do and cold seems to finally be going just in time for me to ease down!! Did get my last 2 hour run in yesterday, just a fast 10k type run to do tomorrow, then its ease down time.

    How was the weekend? Was hubbie OK? Are you back at work today? Must admit I thought you were taking 9 months off?

    Only 3 weeks to cows milk for my two can't wait, fed up with formula now. They had ham over the weekend and are getting bacon pasta tomorrow as thats what we're having tonight. I kind of figure whats the difference between 11 months and 10 days and 12 months? They have also had peanut butter now with no problems which gives us more sarnie options.

    sarah, difficult one the losing weight and breast feeding debate. You need to eat well and yet you want to lose weight. Maybe try cutting out a few things, but making sure you still eat well.

    I am still 5-7 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy and run 60mpw, so think its staying. Can't diet love food too much!!

  • Mrs T - congratulations.  image I did wonder when people would start on the next round of children!  You are leading the way (no plans here yet as hubbie only wants the one we have - lots of persuasion will be needed).  Although I am from Belfast I live in England.  My friend went privately and had scans it seemed every other week.  I will email a friend though and find out about her sister's scans.

    Sequin - I have been b'feeding James and still out plodding along.  It is just so nice to get out I just throw on any old sports bra and head out - usually after he is fed.

  • Congrats Mrs t!

    Janie, well done for persevering, sounds like you and Ted have turned a corner.  Have a lovely holiday.

    The weight certainly isnt falling off me but could have something to do with the rubbish food I am eating and lack of regular exercise!  Things are improving as the girls are getting so much easier to look after and I am therefore getting more time to myself to prepare healthy food and exercise when they sleep or have time with Dad and aunty etc!).  They are 12 weeks now and have fallen into their own routine, and we have learnt that if we leave them in thier cot they will wail for 5 mins but then drop off to sleep, so bed times are earlier too.  My biggest food problem comes after broken nights when all I want to do is eat chocolate to give myself a boost!

    Having a few feeding issues as they are getting bigger and wrigglier (have definately got the fidget gene from thier Dad!)  Find it quite hard to feed them together now so am feeding seperately when I can, not being used to it the girls find it hard to wait for thier turn!  Also they often just dont seem satisfied after a breast feed and will get quite frustrated trying to get more milk than i have got on tap... they want to feed 2 hours after a breast feed which doesnt leave much time to refill (or give me much time in between!).  I have been giving them a bottle mid afternoon which is helping because by teatime I am full again and am usually out in the afternoon so bottles are easier.... although I know deep down that they are happier like this as they are full it still makes me sad that i cant provide enough for them.   Thankfully night and morning feeds are fine and enjoyable for us all still.

    Have you got a race coming up MM?  Glad you are feeling better.

  • Hetty, I take my hat off to you.  I have immense respect for those of you with twins, it's hard enough juggling it all with just one.
    You sound like you are doing just fine.  I think the most important thing is that everyone is happy, mum and kids and the source of milk is secondary.All I can say with weight gain/loss was I was really impatient by 3 months after, I walked/ran the FLM at 7 months, went on some crazy diets but really the extra pounds stayed on. By 11 months when I got fed up with it all and just eased off everything and wasn't really doing any much exercise it suddenly came off. So 12 months later I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, the only explanation I can think of was that my body just needed time to settle down.  I just have to be careful now and be a bit more disciplined and try to fit in some decent runs.  I managed 5k on my lunch break today.   My dear hubby (a non runner) has bought me a treadmill, not sure if this is a sweet gesture or a cunning one  I can run when the kids are asleep and he has to do minimal babysitting!    Anyway, I'm not complaining.
  • Have a good holiday Janie, and glad all is getting better. I had two sickie boys, who do seem finally to have stopped their non stop posetting, thank goodness as new carpet arriving today!!!

    Breast feeding two is very energy consuming Hetty. I would suggest you really try to get some rest between feeds, or before the feed that is worst. Also if you wish to continue beyond six months (which was enough for me to be fair) you may need to increase your milk supply by expressing. Good nutrition is really key as well, plenty of protein with each meal.

    I have written out what my boys did food wise at 12 weeks. Its roughly the gina twin routine regigged to fit in with hubbie getting home etc. I did all my feeding separately I remember all too well jigging one baby with my foot in his chair while feeding the other. Its good for them to learn to be patient as it will continue all their childhood, sharing toys etc.

    7-7.30am breast feed. Boys slept between 8.30am and 10am

    10-10.30am breast feed. Boys slept between 11.30am and 2pm

    2pm breast feed. Boys slept between 4pm and 4.30pm

    Sometimes had to give them a quick top up feed around 4.30pm

    6pm bath and bottle of formula. Bed by 7pm

    9.30pm express using double electric pump. Hubbie gives feed at ~10.30pm

    3-4am breast feed. Although by 12 weeks my two had dropped this feed.

    Around 5 months I replaced the 11am feed with a bottle of formula, so was breast feeding them 3 times a day. 7am, 2pm and 10.30pm.

    This all really worked for me and I had a good milk supply and really struggled to stop feeding them at 6 months, which just added to the guilt of course!!!!

    I tried to rest while they slept at lunchtime or in the afternoon sleep. I used to notice my milk at 10pm used to have to be topped up if I'd had a very busy day.

    You are doing very well, just keep saying that to yourself!!!

    I am racing next sunday half marathon, great east run. Just did 10k measured run with a friend to replace the race I missed last week and managed 41:32, pretty pleased given I ran 16 miles on sunday. Ease down now which I love!! Means I can practice making the boys cakes this week!!

    Boys

  • P.S. Forgot to add congrats to mrs T. We are chatting about more kids next year. Hubbie says no, I say yes, so we'll see!!
  • Not sure why Boys was added to end of my post. Sorry about that!!
  • Also forgot to say congrats to Mrs T yesterday - hope you're feeling well !

    We've just got back from Eddie's 6 week check (at 7 weeks!) - they measured his length for the 1st time and he's on the 98th centile, so his weight (also now 98th centile) is spot on - about 13 and a half pounds now.  Unfortunately the pounds he's gaining don't seem to be slipping off me despite lots of feeding - shame it doesn't work that way! Thanks for replies about weight loss - I think I'm probably kidding myself that I'm doing enough exercise yet to make a difference, so I'm going to try and substitute fruit etc. for cakes and chocolate for a while to see if that makes a differenceas I don't want to actively diet. Also good to hear that things sorted themselves out for you at 11/12 months Tonia - I will also have to try and be patient.

    MM and Hetty - I have such respect for you both managing to breaastfeed / generally cope with twins! I find it hard enough sometimes juggling 3 with big age gaps - and my eldest helps out a lot too.  Hetty - it sounds like you're doing brilliantly at the moment.

  • Wow sarahbob. My two are on the 2nd and the 9th, and the 25th for height bless them. Harry not much over 18lbs, Joshie just under 20lbs, both now 11 months. But they were never going to be big as I am tiny and hubbie is a 10.5 stone skinny bean too!!!

    Am not sure if twins is harder or easier than kids of different ages. Its obviously harder than 1 alone, but I think twins might actually be easier than two with an age gap, because at least everything happens together. Will be different of course if we have more!!

    Struggling to find cruiser shoes for them as they have tiny feet. Think have found some at start rite but clarks start at size 3, no good for wee harry!!

  • That looks like a really good routine MM, have tried stretching the times between feeds to but no joy, I struggle to get to 3 hours before they are hungry and screaming!  I dont plan to feed past 6 months but would like to continue with at least some of thier feeds on the breast til then.  

    I was only saying to my SIL today thank god for bouncy chairs!

    I am sure that having twins will get easier than 2 of different ages as they get older and can play together and to be honest I dont think I have found it any more difficult than most first time mums with 1 baby... I do think it would be tough to have a toddler and then twins though.

    I feel broody for another already... keep thinking that this will be the only time I will get to do this having 2 at once.  Dont think the other half would agree to more though (or the bank manager!!)

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭

    Wow, loads of posts to catch up on.  Am back at work tomorrow after 7 months off and feeling rather apprehensive.  Am worried that Kit will miss me - and worried that he won't!  I know that sounds mad but although I'm resigned to the fact I have to go back it's going to be such a wrench being away from Kit all day.  Have organised the moring routine with hubby so that I still give Kit his breakfast, and I should be back in time for his bath - so at least I get to spend the beginning and end of the day with him.

    Tried on my old work clothes today and thankfully everything fits, although all my trousers are much more snug round the waist - they used to hang off me.  Although I'm pretty much as I was pre-pregnancy I'm definitely bigger round the middle.  I don't think anyone else would notice though.

    Had a really busy day today.  During Kit's morning nap I did a pile of ironing, tried on all my work clothes and made a batch of courgette puree (fairly textured as Kit is now on less smooth foods).  After his lunchtime nap I cleaned the bathroom while he sat and watched in his bouncy chair, then I made spaghetti bolognese for dinner while he had an afternoon nap.  My mum came round late afternoon and while she played with him I sorted and organised all his clothes and packed away some that he no longer wears.  Then I went for a run when hubby got in.  And sorted a load of photos into chronological order and put them into an album while watching 'Bringing Up Baby' tonight!

    MM, hubby hasn't had his night out yet - it's on Friday.  So will report back at the weekend!  When is your race?  Hope it goes well!  Still haven't sent off my FLM application - better do that tomorrow regardless of what I decide to do as closing date for GFA applications is 19th October and apparently there's a postal strike for a week starting Thursday noon. 

  • Good luck for tomorrow Minks - it's hard going back to work but I'm sure it will all go well. Sounds like you're really organised! Are you going back part-time?

    Really pleased that I managed to fit in a run this evening - DH and I passed on the doorstep several times as I went out for my short run when he got in from work, he went out for his interval session when I got back, then I went out again with a friend when he got in - busy night! But worth it as my pace seems to be picking up slightly - just got to keep working away slowly for the mome.

    MM - I think I just grow big babies as neither DH or I are particularly big (DH is a similar weight to your husband and I'm only 5'4 - I used to think I was 5'5 but I've realised I'm not even that tall!) My other 2 were similar weights at birth and for the first year but now they're both average sized.

  • Minks, I watched the Bringing up Baby and almost cried at the babies crying - I so felt for the Mum.  We have used controlled crying from the start but nothing like that harsh.  We have such a cuddley, snuggley happy bundle of fun - that no contact or 10 mins at a push a day... ok everyone is different but that is ludicrous.  Mother's instinct wins over any book / method (I think anyway).
  • Sarahbob I am relieved to have another big baby on the forum.  James has finally slowed down and dropped below the 90th and he is in the correct clothes size, having always been a size up before.  Lots of jokes about 'What are you feeding them?' and 'They certainly have reserves' when he was just solid.  At least I did not have worries about being sick etc.  Also the charts are for formula fed, not breast fed which James is... imagine if he was formula.  the only problem is my tiny baby did not last long image
  • I watched the bringing up baby programme too... poor little mites not getting any cuddles and being left to cry for hours!  Wondering how the babies that are held/ in a sling all the time are so content and I can see the benefits but how on earth could you do that with 2??  Think I am going with

    We have been leaving the girls to cry at bedtime in an attempt to get them to go off to bed earlier in the evening rather than napping downstairs til 10.... they have a tired cry which means they will usually drop off in 5 mins if we leave them but if that changes to an upset cry I have to go in and soothe them to settle them down again.  Must admit I am finding it quite stressful but will persevere because I really think its important they can get themselves off to sleep on thier own.  Any tips?

    On a positive front once they went off last night they slept til 5, had a feed then I woke them at 9 this morning!

  • I know what you mean PA - at least if you have a big breastfed baby you know you're not overfeeding them.  My other 2 were also up on the 90+th centile for the 1st year, so I guessed Eddie would be quite big - he's already in 3-6 month clothes as I decided it was mean to carry on shoe-horning him into 0-3 month babygrows when I saw they were only supposed to go up to 12.5 lbs! My other 2 are quite normal sized now though and both very fit and active.

    I haven't managed to watch more than 10 mins of Bringing up Baby as I can't bear to watch the 'routine' woman - I think it's totally cruel not being allowed to cuddle your baby, and as for saying that the bay's just looking for attention - of course she is - she's only a few weeks old and needs love and affection - grrrr! Makes me cross just thinking about it!

  • Hetty, if you know the twins are ok, and their Daddy is happy enough to stay with them.  Go for a 15 minute walk or run as soon as they go down, with the expectation that they will settle within that 5 minute window or he will be there for them.  I know my hubbie is a lot more relaxed with James crying than I am.
  • Thanks for the congrats. and Thanks ploddingalong.

    Getting nervous about how I will cope with 2..but hey its not like I'm the first mother to have 2 kids eh! I take my hat of to you MM and Hetty..I dont know how ye do it!

    Hetty if you're broody for another baby......A friend of mine is pregnant with baby number 4....she has a 4 yr old.....2 yr old twins..... Rather her than me I think!!! 

    Watched that programme Bringing up baby too...my God that woman should be shot..leaving a crying baby outside for 4 hrs!

    Plodding along How is it that the men are much more relaxed than us about listening to the baby cries.. I just cant bear it

  • You are so right, he is so much calmer and more patient than me!  I am currently trying not to go and listen to see if they have gone off yet!!  Could be a good time for a quick run... may have to negotiate with dad!

    Apparently baby crying effects a womans hormones which is why we hate it so much... makes sense and a very effective way of baby getting what it needs.

  • Finally found some tiny shoes for Harry's wee feet. They both look very smart and seem to quite like them. Hurray! Hush Puppies for reference start very small unlike Clarks.

    I always find it hard when they are crying, but I think now hubbie finds the crying worse as he doesn't spend all day with them he jumps at any cries. I think I have worked out what each cry means. Poor wee Joshie is going through that phase of hating people walking out of the room so we have tears everytime, he stops after a minute or so though. A woman has to go to the loo!

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭

    Well, I survived the first day back at work - just.  All went OK until the journey home, which was a nightmare.  I'd left work in plenty of time to get home for about 6pm so I'd have a bit of time with Kit before his bath.  As it was the Tube played up and I finally walked in the door at 6:25, sobbing hysterically.  I then just couldn't calm down and spent the whole evening crying hysterically and telling hubby I didn't want to be a working mum.  Feel a little better this morning but had to hold back the tears as I left the house, even though Kit was smiling happily and my mum was with him.

    Just have to get through it as unfortunately we can't really afford for me not to work.  It's only three days a week but I just feel I'm not being a proper mum and it just goes against every instinct and emotion I have.  I just hope Kit doesn't suffer for it.  He's such a happy little boy and I couldn't bear for him to be miserable and missing his mummy.  God, now I'm setting myself off again - really need to get a grip!

    Although we used a routine with Kit from the beginning, it didn't involve not cuddling him or leaving him in the graden to cry.  He went through a phase of crying when put down in his cot and not being able to settle when he woke up, but we blamed ourselves for that as we never gave him the opportunity by always rushing in at the first whimper.  We had to use a little bit of controlled crying for a day or so - I did it during the day when he went down for naps as thought it would be less traumatic than at night.  It worked - I never let him cry for more than two minutes, but didn't pick him up unless he got really beside himself.  I just reassured him with my voice and stroking his head if necessary.  It was worth doing even though I hated it at the time as he now loves his cot and settles really well when he's put down for a nap or to bed.  Even if he wakes up he just amuses himself with his cuddly toys and makes cooing noises to himself.  Sometimes he doesn't even make any noise and we don't know he's awake until we peer round the door and see his eyes open!

  • ((minks)) - poor you!  but kit is fine! i understand how hard it is for you - i went back to work when jacob was 7 months old as well.  but actually i was so desperate to go back because i hated being at home, so i didn't suffer as you are.  but i was stupidly worried about him all the time because he was in nursery and i thought they wouldn't read his signals properly.  of course, he loves it there and has done right from the start.

    i'm sure you will settle into being back at work, and will start enjoying it.  at kit's age, it's the easiest time for you to go back.  once they get bigger (around a year or more), they do become a bit more attached to you so if they aren't used to being with someone else regularly (and even if they are), they might play up a bit.  usually it doesn't last too long.

    keep your chin up.  you will be fine, and kit will love spending time with you when you are around.  i find i have sooo much more enthusiasm for doing things with jacob when i'm on my days off from work now, because i have a break from him for 3 days.  it's the best of both worlds - and kit is still being very well cared for by your mum.

  • Oh, Minks, sorry to see going back to work was so tough but don't worry, Kit will still be a happy little boy. I work four days a week but I'd love not to be a working mum. I still go through guilt trips sometimes about not being able to be a good mum on one hand and not being able to be a great worker on the other hand. It's a pretty difficult thing to juggle but it will get easier as you get into the swing of it and Kit will probably enjoy his mummy time and his granny time in different ways. And don't worry, there's no such thing as a proper mum, we're all just the best mums we can be.

    Hope your journey home is better tonight and you have a better evening.

  • totally agree, tabtri, about the guilt trips.  it's when jacob is poorly or is going through a grizzly / clingy phase that i feel bad about going to work. invariably though, he perks up as soon as he is dropped at nursery.  most evenings he doesn't want to come home, and we have screaming fits when we try to take him away from whatever he is playing with at the time (he is very attached to a pink trike at nursery, much to my husband's consternation!)

    he now runs up to the nursery door in the morning and starts banging on it and bouncing up and down waiting for someone to open the door.  as soon as the door is opened, he runs off into the nursery and that's it - doesn't stop to say goodbye or anything.  it's quite amusing really - better than being clingy, i suppose, but it would be nice if he showed us some allegiance!

    just been for a BUPA health assessment (mandatory as part of my job).  last time i had one was 3 years ago - so a year before i got pregnant.  was marathon training at the time and quite fit.  the exercise results do show that i'm less fit than i was, but even on the 20 miles a week or so i'm doing now, i still come out in the top 10% fitness for my age!  so i'm reasonably happy.  somehow my waist to height ratio has also gone down, which is a bit weird!

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭

    Thanks DCM, I know (logically) that you're right but emotionally I'm finding it tough.  Still, it's early days and as you say, at least I know Kit is being well cared for by someone he knows very well.  I guess it would be easier if I hated being at home, but I've loved every minute of it and would far rather be at home than back at work.  I hope he doesn't get to the stage where he objects to being left as that would be really hard!

    I'm not convinced I'll ever enjoy work again - never enjoyed it that much before! - but I suppose I'll settle into the routine of it eventually.  It's just another big change - just when you get used to one way of life, you have to get used to another ...

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭

    Thanks also to Tabtri - had typed out my response to DCM earlier but forgot to post it, then didn't realise there had been another post from you in the interim!

    I suppose there is no such thing as a 'proper' mum.  I was lucky in that my own mum stayed at home and was always there for my brother and I when we were small, and I just kind of wanted that for Kit.  But I guess he won't know any different and as long as he's happy and healthy then I can't ask for more than that.  It's more about me wanting to spend more time with him and missing him when I'm not with him.  Hubby says that eventually it will be good for me as it's easy to become a bit limited when you're at home all day with a little one, but it's hard to see that now.

    DCM, that's good about your BUPA check.  I'm only running about 20 miles a week at the moment, and am now pondering the wisdom of sending off my FLM GFA form.  Long Sunday runs are yet more time away from Kit, but if I don't use my GFA place this year then the only option if I want to run FLM again is the ballot.  So hard to know what to do.  On the one hand, I want to do FLM again for me, but on the other Kit will only be a baby once and I have (in theory!) the rest of my life to run marathons.  The training is hard even if your heart is 100% in it - if it isn't, I suspect it's unlikely to happen ...

  • I feel for you Minks, must be really hard and I am dreading it already.  Like the others said though I am sure it is harder on you than Kit! Oh to be in a position to be full time mum... it annoys me that this country is so useless at supporting families, a friend of mine is employed in Norway and either him or his wife can take ages off on close to full pay.  I think it would be lovely for Dad to be able to have leave to take when i go back to work.

    Babies had their 2nd jabs today which were fine.  took my SIL to help with the cuddles after but they didnt cry for nearly as long this time then crashed out in thier buggy so I sat in the sun in the park with a mag for 2 hours..... bliss!  Got them weighed as well and both have jumped a centile line and put on way over 2lb in a month.  And to top it off both asleep by 8pm without a single tear or wail !!

  • Minks, I am dreading it too so I really sympathise.   i do enjoy my job and I know I will be fine when I get there but I wish there was some scope for me to work part time.  I will just have to make the most of my weekends! 

    We had baby clinic this morning - knew Louise had had a growth spurt but was still taken aback at a 12oz gain in one week!

    Went to the gym tonight and did 7k.  It was a lot easier than last time and I feel that slowly but surely my fitness is returning.  thank goodness! 

    We have 2nd jabs on Monday.  Last time Louise cried a bit but the main effect was for her to sleep most of Tuesday!

  • Oh Minks you sound so distraught. Am sure Kit will be fine but I totally sympathise especially with your relliance on public transport too.

    I can't add anymore other than to agree with you about being a full time Mum. Our main issue is the cost of childcare for two, we have no family nearby to help with childcare so all my wages would go on on looking after the twins. We could see no reason for me to go back to a job I hated just to pay the childminder! I am now doing some book keeping for hubbie's business during lunchtimes and on the one day they go to the childminder, and finishing my diploma so I can set up my own business.

    My other issue was finding childcare that was suitable, my childminder can only offer me one day because they are twins, nightmare. The closest nursery to us is £5.50 an hour each, with no discount for the two of them, plus food costs on top, another £2 a day!

    I hated leaving them the first day, and cos I'm working at home the house was so empty. I have got more used to it now and get lots done. I also try to go for a run with a friend so I get some me time. So maybe try to go running while at work to make use of your time away from him. I know lots of Mums who do this!!

    I do hope it gets better for you.

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭
    Hetty, when I was a child most mums stayed at home and didn't work - mortgages were sustainable on just one salary then.  Sadly that's no longer the case and most of us couldn't manage on just one salary so we have no option but to work.  I think I'm probably luckier than most as Kit is being looked after purely by family and we haven't had to put him into a nursery.  I don't think I could have done that at 7 months - maybe if he'd been a little older, but he's still so little.
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