Anti-depressants & training

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  • still here... well more accurately, here, going to get a drink then will be back
  • here goes ,

    The dr decided  to send me home for 2 days leave without any notice to me or my hubby ,  what happened was i was in my room space when the nurse said a Dr wanted to see me ,  which i was unaware off , anyway i went to see him and he had the person who addmitted me in dec ,  they said there sending me home without consulting myself or my hubby , i  explained i felt not safe going home due to risk factors as you may know ,  also brian was working nights , they had it all arrange before even asking how i felt ,  so when he told me i just broke down, 

    they said they where doing it because of the patient targting me ,  but the thing is I feel i'm more at risk at the at home,  then the patient at hospital ,  by this time brian still was not informed about home visit

    It felt they were not taking on borad what i was telling them , by this time I requested my andvacy , but they said i did not need one,  so as you can guess i got worse ,  i then requested to have a female present as i felt i needed somone there who knew me on the ward

    they had no choice so i went and got support for myself , anyway cutting long story short they said that the crisis team would take me home , then visist at 8pm to give meds which is not the time i have them

    also they said i could ring the crisis team during night bearing in mind brian at work ,  and i find it hard to ring for help,  they had also arrange for them to come three times a day,

    so as you can guess by this time i was a state and still am

    anyway I completly flipped with little support from staff on ward , i was unable to use coping strangies as it was very short notice,  anyway got my bag packed and sent with the team in tears

    got home the lady was very concerned who dropped me off , also brian got the impresstion from the nurse who rang him I was ok about it and happy , so he was very upset because i was in tears when i turned up ,

    and i was self harming etc ,  brian rang the ward not happy with this , and  rang crisis team , and my support worker , who also rang crisis team , i completly gone and broke down , its like all i was taught be paul (coping stargies gone out the window )  I have aready placed a complate about how this was all done

    anyway  the crisis team where sent back to pick me up ,  she knew it was not right but her hands were tied , she said she will make a point in handover book ,  and also to give me & brian warning  and also to do it on brians nights off, she was lovelly

    god this is the longest write up i've done

    by the way the other reason for sending me home for the two day because a patient has ripped my wedding photo and get well cards that you guys sent me , she also done other things too on other days ,  but I and othere  people i who know me  are also unhappy with the way the dr handled the to days leave

    I'm now back on the ward in a state ,  and still waiting to talk to a nurse who are  now looking for two missing patients who are sectioned , its funny i'm an informal patient and not sectioned , and theres patients missing who sectioned  , 

    not sure what to do now image  as you can tell its taken the toll on me i've had enough all i want is to feel safe

    Or like i quoted on a pic i  "   I wish for peace and rest from the pain and hurt inside "

    sorry its so long , hope you can understand where i coming from

    April xx 

  • By the not sure if i mentioned it was for two days then back to hospital ,  they never asked brian if he was working nights,   but i had been talking to the nurses that he was working six night and still has two more to do, its as there do not listen , or think how the patient feels, before deciding things image
  • completely understand April, dont worry about it being long as there was a lot to say.  i want to think before i answer fully but it sounds crap, very poor patient managment and a complete lack of understanding and empathy from the doctor.  give me a few minutes, i've not run off, just thinking...
  • thanks I really needed to off load cannot cope any more ,  all i want is be safe at least i recognise when i need help ,  and i do try very very hard , I feel like i've failed myself and let the ward down and also worried when the Dr on in morning and finds me back on ward , i just cannot with it anymore image

  • also three  get well cards and wedding photo meant alot to me,  i have repaired them but its not the same image

    anything else the patient  did not care about as they can be replaced ,  the patient really said sorry tonight about what she did ,  she also going though a rough patch too and i feel for her its not her fault its her illness thats taken control of her ,   

  • ok.  it sounds a complete mess.  can you let me know which hospital you're in and I'll see if a couple of people i know who work in mental health rights and such (ReThink, Stop Stigma, etc) have any contacts in your area that can help.

    give yourself an easy time because you should be upset by what has happened, it is complete stupidity to decide a patient should go home for a "break" without having dicussed it with the patient, their family and the patient's representatives. either they are not taking accurate notes of your state of mind or are just plain stupid.  to suggest that someone with suicidal urges should be allowed to be at home without having checked that they would be safe is plain incompetent.

    you can see their view that if another patient is causing you problems then maybe a few days at home would help you, but they shouldn't do that without a full consultation with you, Brian, and people who are having day-to-day contact with you.  likewise you can see that trying to find sectioned patients is important but there should be cover on the ward for the patients that they do know the location of!

    try to relax, a little tiny bit at a time and if one bit wont relax, try a different bit.  so toes, ankles, lower leg, knees, thighs... you get the picture.  there is no right and wrong, this is just an exercise not a test.  count backwards from 300, slowly in your head, dont worry if you lose count or miss a number, its all about giving your mind something to do rather than worrying.  concentrate on your breathing, feel the air moving in and out, make sure you're using your diaphram (budha breathing)...  try any of then, they can be done in any order or together, its just about distracting yourself with something else, giving your mind something to do instead of it running away full of thoughts. if something does come into your head while you're doing one of these, look at it but let it go, tell yourself you can look at it another time.

    writing stuff down is good; write the letter to the doc saying exactly what you think of him, dont plan to send it this is just about releasing some emotion.  if you want to go the other way as well write one about the crisis team lady who was really good.

    hope these can help a little.  ((((April)))))  I'm going to be around a bit yet

  • thankyou that is really helpfull and usfull

    Speaking up Advancy have are aready on the case for me and my support worker from rethink ,  I have asked my advancy if i can see her in morning as she has a clinic er today ,  think the ward know upset brian and myself are , and now how brian is not being kept in the loop off things to do with my care , as I do find it hard to relay whats been said like for example the CPA meeting , at this there was not metion off home visist as my advacy recalled , all she could recall is they were going to review my care in two weeks time, she is going to bring this up today ,

    ah sounds like the  missing two patients are back  by police  

  • ok  just been informed by another only one been found  lol
  • hmm they've got one... well i suppose thats a good start, at least they can claim a 50% success rate... they dont seem to good at keeping patients given you managed to leave without thm noticing as well image

    I'm glad you're getting some help from the advocacy and rethink, you need some gentle support from people like that as well as the medics - possible more than the medics from what you've said! 

  • will you be around during day , you've helped loads , its helped me get it off my chest , looks like the nurse who said was going to chat to me is now unable due to missing patient ,

    thankyou for the great support i hate to think where i be without you guys

  • i will be around all day probably April as i've quite a bit of work to do in the web stuff i'm doing... if i'm not here I'll probably only be as far away as doing the washing up or making a brew image

    Hope you manage to get some sleep or at least some rest now, take care and try to be easy on yourself.  remember little bits of time and praise yourself for each little chunk you get through, if you struggle to get through some, well write them off and move on to the next one.

     ((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))

  • ((((April)))) You are doing great in your own way of telling them that you need help, it is not easy.
  • April  - I am proud of you.
  • (((April))) - what a horrible experience and so badly handled from the sounds of it, going home should be well planned, not a last minute thing because they've run out of space or ideas and it should definitely involve Brian in the planning! If you're having trouble with another patient on the ward one of you should be moved - not sent home! I hope the good advice from Staggs saw you safely through the night. I think Brian should probably contact PALS to complain too. I'm afraid that acute wards aren't places to get well but often war zones. Is Brian able to attend your CPA meetings and reviews of can he not cos of work? Keep breathing and know that we're all here for you as much as we can be.
    If you think you can or you think you can't you're probably right.
  • ((((April))))) hold on in there girl,  we are here for you xxxx 
  • ((april)) I will be in and out during the day too.

    pea - how are you doing today? have you rung the docs yet?

  • sorry Pea, i meant to ask how you were doing?  do you know what has tripped you up or has it been building in the background and you've been trying to ignore it or just keep going?  I think you should see the doc if for no other reason than to talk it through with someone face to face, it might help, and if you feel the doc cant help then someone else so that you're not just bottling it in
  • April - I am going to get Mr Postman to deliver you a little package x

  • yeah cheers guys.  went to docs and back on meds.  not what i wanted but sometimes backsteps are needed inorder to go forward.
  • (((((((pea))))))) its not a back step if you need them to cope at the moment, its a forward step to go to the docs when you are pretty sure that will be the result.  plus its another positive that you sound to be accepting that while it might not be what you want but that its the right thing at the moment.
  • (((((BUGSY))))))

    (((((PEA))))))

    (((((BLUEROOM)))))

  • ((((((((((BLUE ROOM)))))))))))

    Of up to bed night all.

  • ((((((((((chickpea)))))))))))))  

    staff appear more understanding today ,

    been no sight off the Dr concerned yahoo whoops did i say that out aloud

    I had a one to one today and got to explain how i felt to a student nurse about what happened i also  i am concidering placing a complent about what happened ,  she said she will report in handover how i felt, she seemed very nice and understanding,  so hopfully this will not happen again.

    I spoke to speaking up advancy today who have been really supportive I've got to write a draft letter and they said they can help by checking it over because of the dsylexia  and rethink  have rang me today and they have also spoken to brian and been very helpfull for him.

    as i was having my meds at ten oclock the nurse listen also ,  and explained they will do it better,

    i've got a very strange feeling i going to have problems with again as i have asked when do they plan for this leave again , as i do not want it to happen again the way it did,   they seem to understand about doing this on brian night off , but they are not being very clear when they plan to do leave ,  hoping its not going to be a last minute thing again,

    ((((((((((((((((((big hugs to everyone))))))))))))))))))))))))   

  • Bunny - Could you email your surname so that it is easy for you to get a package in hospital?

    Staggers - Hope you got a good sleep. I am going back to bed after kids have gone to school.

  • Well done Pea.

    Glad to hear that things are a little better April.

    If you think you can or you think you can't you're probably right.
  • that sounds like progress April hopefully they will act on what's being said as well as listening.

    Nope Tracey, less than 6 hours again...  Not going to go back to bed this morning as off to the GP for some more liver test results and need a script.  Plus got 30 odd web pages to create in two weeks and that needs some thought though they are not difficult and they do take my mind off everything else.

    I'm pretty low if i sit and think about certain parts of my life but if i can keep away from them i'm ok.

    ((((((blue room)))))

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