Perverted uses for a hairdryer

yes, it's past the watershed, we can talk about these things - it's time to confess.

I blow dry my trainers. yes, it's true. it's disgusting, I know. what's got into me? I mean, I don't even blow dry my hair.

the instructions say don't put them on a radiator, don't put them in the airing cupboard. they tell us to "air dry" them. what does that mean? what are we supposed to do? they are forcing us into acts of the most shameful depravity. I mean, have you ever blow-dried your shoes? the smell defies description.

there's got to be a better way. help me, people. what do you do?

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