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Terror on the Towpath

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    Thanks DavidB!

    Snickster. You're no relation to a Simon Bugler from the Nafferton area of North Yorkshire are you?
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    Probably! Is he of Irish descent
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    Ah Nafferton, the middle of my 6 mile run
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    No, I dont think so. He introduced me to girl many years ago when we were both at Huddersfield Poly (NOT University) when I really was a big girls blouse. Anyway to cut a long story short, I married this girl and we now have 2 daughters, 17 and 11 (strange names I know)
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    And now you want to hunt him down...
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    Mr A, you can't start a story and then not finnish it. What happened next? I'm in no rush.
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    Simon Bugler's not exactly an ordinary name either, is it. There's not many of us about, so as I said probably related. My matchmaking skills are pretty good too - except when it comes to me, but that's another story that I don't want to be sharing on the internet! What with all the goings on. Anyway, must get on. Nice to chat Chimp.
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    Trickle, I lived on Tomswood Hill, about 1/4 mile from the top where it becomes Chigwell. My experience happened in 1969 and I moved away the following year. last year I ran in a x/country race in Claybury woods and you are right, the old hospital has been derelict but is now being converted to a pub to serve the up market housing developemnt being built in the rest of the grounds. I could have done with a fright on that occation to speed me up a bit...
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    Blimey. I've never had so much interest in my love-life (including from my girlfriends). I'll miss out the middle and skip to the ending: she finished with me on Valentines Day. Nice.

    As for the rest, you can use your imagination (it'll probably be more interesting than the truth)...
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    Can someone tell me what the pheasant story is?
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    The thread in question was on the old forums which, I believe, have now been removed (are they archived somewhere?). The pheasant story itself was not so funny but it did generate some amusing responses. Briefly, I was striding out up a steep hill early one morning (maintaining my mental self-image of an effortlessly bounding gazelle) when I became aware of a rustling in the bushes. Suddenly, out popped a pheasant which then started trotting alongside me. My instant reaction was to accelerate whereupon the pheasant accelerated and started to build up a moderately good lead. By this time I was sprinting but before I could catch up the pheasant tossed me a dismissive sideways glance and disappeared back into the bushes. By this stage I was exhausted and pondered the rationality of racing poultry. The responses fell into two camps, those that had no desire to race anything at all, and those who thought my behaviour completely normal and who had a similar story to tell. Of the latter my favourite was the person who found himself racing a paper bag that was being blown about.

    So that's the "pheasant story", I'm sorry if it doesn't satisfy your heightened state of expectation (but I'm sure my original post was funnier).
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    It was every bit as funny as I thought it was going to be! Thank you for cheering up my boring Thursday afternoon David.
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    DavidB. Are you Mr LizzyB?
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    DavidB, you original story lives on
    here

    Gareth

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    I of course meant your not you

    Can't quite believe that link worked!

    Gareth
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    Pansie: you are most welcome.
    Chimp: not yet (but if Lizzy is interested...)
    Ironman: many thanks, had I found this I could have saved some time; as for putting you instead of your, many of us have been pleading for the old edit facility to be restored. Mind you, this may have deprived us of Master Fox's brilliantly lucid contribution to this forum (only kidding Rohan).
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    Thank you I sometimes race canal boats, but that is really sad
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    Freaky Its only sad if you lose.
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    Er, I race aeroplanes. Not as they are speeding along the runway for take-off, but when I see once coming into land I try to get to a certain point before they hit the runway. This is what happens when you live next to an airfield and have too much time on your hands.

    Curious Chimp - Nope, no relation to DavidB. Anyway, I could never relate myself to someone raced pheasants! The man needs to show some class and race ptarmigan at the very least...... :). And win.
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    Emus would be more impressive!
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    BTW LizzyB, if you were married to DavidB, I was going to ask him if he has any photos of you in your buff (not what you think folks!!) on your wobble board, reading a book with one finger on the wall, preferably one when he's tried to push you off Cato-style. Maybe the RW photographers would be interested. Now that WOULD make a cover!!

    :-))
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    I race cars going to work.

    There is a cycle track that runs alongside (but separated from) a busy road to where I work.

    I time it so it is at the peak of rush hour and I can usually move faster than the traffic (but still need to put in the odd spurt of pace to keep ahead). I resist the temptation to wave at the frustrated drivers, but they know and I know that I am going to get to work before them and in a better mood.

    (The only time I get beaten is during half term school holidays when the traffic is less)

    Not in the same league as the tow-path or the pheasant story but seems to fit in to the thread.
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    Chimp - Mmmn, a picture of a red setter on a wobble board on the cover of the next issue of Runner's World or a picture of some bloke at a race adjusting his tackle in a car park (as suggested on another thread a few days ago. I just can't decide....

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    Chimp: Just because we are not married, doesn't mean I don't have the photos!

    Lizzy: Sorry I'm not classy enough for you, I tried racing grouse last August but they panicked when the starting pistol was fired.
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    I dont mind them adjusting their tackle. Its just the obvious glee that accompanies rubbing vaseline on the b*ggers that gets me.

    Nah sorry, the wobble board gets my vote.
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    I'll tell Steve Seaton that an overwhelming majority of readers want 'real life' running scenarios on the cover of the mag.

    So, we have 'wobble board' and 'adjusting tackle' so how about ...

    - Man/woman getting changed in small car after coming to evening race straight from work.

    - Runner vomiting during fell race

    - Runner tripping over sheep grid/sheep during fell race

    - Face of runner failing to get pb

    - Runner lost during fell race and having to hitch as lift back to the start

    - Runner adjusting belt of heart rate monitor while confused motorist looks on (would work best using a female runner)

    .... any more?

    DavidB - try firing the gun straight at the grouse and you'll beat them easily ....
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    Jodie Swallow (I'm not giving up on this you know)

    Jodie Swallow on a wobble board.

    Jodie Swallow chasing an emu

    Jodie Swallow with a bum bag

    When is someone going to take the hint!!!
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    er, Jodie who?
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    Now you've set him off....
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