Madlot wrote (see)
I've posted this before but i like it.Ive got a joke for ya
3 tortoises - Jim, Ray & Geoff go for a picnic 10 miles from where they live. It takes them 10 days to get there but when they do they find they have forgotten the bottle opener.
Jim and Ray ask Geoff to fetch it, Geoff says "fuck off, by the time I get back you'll have eaten the all the sarnies!" Jim and Ray promise not to eat them so Geoff agrees to go.
10 days pass & Geoff has not returned. 20 days pass & he has still not returned & Jim & Ray are fucking starving but keep their promise not to eat the sandwiches. 25 days pass & Jim and Ray say
"fuck it, we're gonna starve if we dont eat" They start to eat the sandwiches & Geoff jumps from behind a rock & shouts
" I fuckin knew it you bastards, Im not going now!"
Comments
What's 12" long and hangs in front of an arsehole?
Jonathon Ross's tie.
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The other says "yes it does does'nt it........."
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I won.
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The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"
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The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
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Miss...Miss...MISS...do farts come in lumps?
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Billy......I think I've s*** me pants then miss.
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Murphy replies "But what if one of them blows up Paddy?"
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iron man is a superhero.....................
iron women is an instruction
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Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Nobody
Nobody who?
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piece o`cake
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A leisure centre.
replies "Yes it does, doesn't it"
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Fav of the moment
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