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  • minks - am sure kit is just going through an emotional and clingy phase.  and they learn certain behaviour (such as wailing when being left) and it can be hard to break.  try setting an expectation around the separations, perhaps? and reward good behaviour? may not work but possibly worth a try.

    i am sure he is not weird - probably just bright and trying it on!

  • 5am sounds WAY too early for me too!

    It's official, I can now bribe my child.  Twice yesterday I succeeded, when she was being a sod for nappy changing.  'No change nappy, no nappy' etc etc.  Once I said she could have an ice lolly when her friend came round later (I had already been planning on giving them one but she didn't know that) and a second time I said no telly unless.......both times immediate response, laid out on the changing mat.

    She's definitely ready for potty training, but having our house as a building site means I won't do it yet, so we shall continue to fight until then.  It's her nursery parents evening on Mon so I'll see what they say about potty training as well.

  • MinksMinks ✭✭✭

    Caro, totally agree with waiting until the house is back to normal before embarking on potty training.  No sense in making it harder than it is!  And I use bribes too - but a word of warning, if you use them too much they cease to have much effect image

    CM, what do you mean about setting an expectation around the separations?  It sounds like a sensible suggestion, but I'm not sure what you mean?

    Hubby is very good at looking after Kit, but I still find myself doing most of the nitty-gritty stuff.  Whenever I come home from work on a Wednesday (Daddy's day) everything is chaos.  OK, so they're not long back from nursery, but whatever shoes/coat/jacket Kit's had on is usually on the stairs (I then take it up and put it away), the tea things are unwashed in the sink (and are invariably still there when I come back from my run) and none of Kit's toys have been tidied away.  Hubby wouldn't have a clue when Kit's PJs should be changed or how many nights he's slept in them, when the bedding needs changing, or any of those things.  But he's a good dad and takes a reasonable chunk of the childcare so I can't really complain (although I frequently do!) Theone thing that does bug me about hubby, though, is his inability to put anything away - so when I go to the drawer where the car keys are kept, they're not there and then I have to waste ages looking for them, usually to be discovered in the pocket of whatever jeans hubby was wearing that day image

    And our shower is still leaking image Can't figure out where from so may have to get bathroom guy back again - resealing obviously didn't do the job.

  • I totally agree with us doing the lions share. Hubbie is also a fab Dad, and never complains about looking after the kids, putting them to bed etc, but does have to be reminded of what needs doing. When he comes in from work I reel off what needs doing and what I've not had time to do, but he would never just do these things unless I asked, he just wouldn't notice that the greenhouse needed watering, the washing needed folding and putting away, although he might bring it in off the line he would never put it away!! He like Kit's Dad always leave the boys tea things, breakfast things etc out and never puts them in the dishwasher. He would never know when nappy wash is needed, bed needs changing, towels need washing. I always have to leave the boys clothes and now especially madam's clothes if he is dressing them otherwise it takes him hours to choose!! Even the poor cats bowl would never be washed, they would never get their anti-flea meds or worm tablets if it was up to him, and our friends this weekend wouldn't have a wedding present or card!!!! In fact noone ever would get one on time as he only thinks about these things on the day or the day after in fact!!

    Anyway enough ranting, I am rather pleased too that T has messed up a bit CM, and I'm sure you are too image!

    Boo to leaking shower minks and sorry to hear Kit unsettled again. Harry kept saying he didn't want to go yesterday to pre-school, but today seemed to bounce through the door. Thursdays is a new 'Rising Fives' day all day until 2.45pm, so J especially is going to love it.

    I have had a very busy day so far, got up at 6.30am and expressed off 11oz, ran 8 miles with 5 at sub 7 pace. Got home had brekkie, kids had had brekkie and dressed, but had to make lunch, put washing on line  and have shower and got boys to pre-school. Home and have done food shop, plus needed lots of b-day cards, wedding card and needed jewellry for my dress for Sat. Also bought a coat. How does that happen???? image

    Home and madam in bed and finally I sit down. Only 2 hours left so best do something useful with it...

    Oh and yes, I was confused, GSR down here is the Portsmouth race with the last mile along sea front. Sorry TT!! Makes sense now as Lotte doing it too...

    Chynah, yes osteopath. A good clunk and click can work wonders. I also had sports massage last week, worked a treat...

  • Also meant to say 5am is WAY too early....can you ignore them??! S often wakes around then but then mutters to herself and drifts back off again. She is having a slightly disturbed lunchtime sleep, keeps waking and howling then going back off again. Poor love!
  • Am still stuck at the moment as if I ignore the noisy one then the other starts fussing too!! Luckily I fed Aidan in bed and we all went back to sleep until 6.15am.
    Fortunately Martha is back to sleeping until almost 7am most days which is heavenly!!

    Caro - glad you got rid of the rubbish vet - doesn't fill you with confidence does it!! Hope your cystitis cleared up okay too - havn't had it for years but its really grotty.

    Minks - have you tried unblocking the pipes? We had problems with one for ages and I think it ended up being something to do with water lying in the pipes because of a blockage. Annoyingly it was when we were in a first floor flat and it leaked into the flat below so they were always complaining which led to us not using it for ages.

    CM - It did cross my mind the other day that your husband might find all the multi tasking a bit of a new experience!! Mine frequently asks about stuff that he should really know by now!
  • Good productive morning for you too CC....lovely run again, still not sure I'd be doing the dip bit though!!

    Have just read back a bit and see a post from Lady A. My little madam is 14.5 weeks and my pelvic floor is loads better than it was, but I still leak a bit when I run hard and fast. It is improving with each week that passes though, but am not sure it will ever be what it was. I am pleased though that I did have 3 kids naturally as I don't have any other problems from it and a lot of women have issues downstairs. I am still BF exclusively, although she has one bottle a day that is expressed milk, 2 today as I expressed before running this morning. No period yet here, and I didn't get one until about 10 months with my twin boys and yet only fed them until 6 months. So can't really comment other than it does sound like a period to me.

    CC, yes am doing Cirencester 10k. Hoping I can run 6.45s for it, and then I have a few more races over the next couple of months. I do seem to have plateaued a bit in my come back. I am up to 6 times a week, this week will be 45-ish miles, but the mile pace has stopped dropping quite so quickly. I know this happened last time so time to go to club again and get those legs turning over quicker!!

    Right need to wake madam and feed her before I have to collect boys. Where does the time go, I have no idea???

  • I feel like I've just eaten my weight in tuna sandwich, it went on forever.  Managed 40 lengths of the pool at lunch, I hate it more and more each time I go!  I guess I should be grateful I can swim pretty well and get benefit from it, but it takes so much mental strength to keep going!!  I kow it's only once a wk but still.

    All you guys with your where does the time go days......I'm at work so it's going reaaaalllyyy slowwwwlllllyyyyy.

  • Oh and you guys are actually making my hubby sound better than average to say the least!  He always packs the nursery bag on a Thurs evening as M is in bed before I get home, he does his fair share of nappy washes, always puts the rubbish out.  Ok I did have a go at him the other day for not having a go at fixing the door knob he pulled off, so to prove I could do DIY I got the screw drivers out and spent 45 mins fiddling, and finally worked out what was wrong, and then between us we fixed it.  Guess I should be more grateful and less of a whingey fish wife image
  • wow, MM - that was a productive morning!

    i went swimming, too, caro - my back is much better but still not 100% and i have run for ... erm.. quite a few days on the trot so thought i would swim. 64 lengths which is 1mile.  really empty tho, which was nice for a change.

    cc - that trick your hubby does with the shirt would bug the HELL out of me.  T only ever used to wash his own things if he came back from a week away and unpacked his bag of stuff - all of it would get shoved in the machine, whether it was a full load or not.  otherwise, he did nothing washing-wise.  like MM's hubby, he would not know about bedding / nappy / towel washing etc.  just as well we have a nanny really! she is well on top of all those sorts of things. he is also a total stranger to washing lines / pegs etc.  it's tumbler driers all the way for him... still: he pays the bills now so it's up to him if he chooses to tumble dry clothes when it's lovely and warm.

    minks - re separation, i mean: you tell him how you expect him to behave when you separate, so no tears, or one big hug, one squeezy hug and three kisses etc (make it into a bit of a game) and if he can that with no crying, then he gets a treat. or if he does it for a whole week at nursery, then he gets a treat.  probably only worth doing if you really think it's something he can achieve - otherwise you are effectively punishing him for his separation anxiety which is NOT a good thing to do. but if you can talk to him about it and set your expectation of his behaviour, it might be worth a try...

  • Thanks for all the hugs guys. Trying to sort out arrangements as she wanted to be cremated but we can't do that up here so it means we are all going to have to travel en mass down to Aberdeen. First available day is next Friday (which would have been her birthday) which means I get back on Monday and then have to go away again on friday which isn't great. Only going down for the day though and hubby isn't going to come as it is too expensive for us both to go. She is the last of my grandparents and I've had a few over the years!! After 25 years of marriage (and 6 kids) to my Grandpa my Grandma ran away with his best friend. He then got together with the best friends wife. (A real case of wife swapping!) This was around when I was born so we had 4 grandparents on my Dads side. We spent time with them all. And my Mums Dad died way before I was born, Granny married again to the grandad we thought of as Grandad and after he died when I was 10 she married again for the third time. But of course my mum was adopted so there were technically her natural parents too. So what would that make - 10 grandparents!!

    Niggle is still niggling CC. Rather pissed off about it but won't bore you all. Minks I know that I jeopardised my half with my long run on Sunday but I have been so focussed on the marathon and that had become my main A goal with the half as a see where I am run, thinking there will be more chances to do half. Only now I have probably jeopardised both, hey ho I might learn some time. I make enough mistakes I should start learning from them sometime soon!

    I agree by the way 5.30am is way to early. Like Cc I am happy to do early starts but not to share them with the kids! 

    My hubby is a great dad but SO unpractical. I am going to have to leave a  very detailed list this weekend. I had to nip out to register the girls for girls brigade last night and asked hubby if he could keep bedtime routine moving. When I got back the twins were eating their supper but hadn't got pj's on. They were quite put out about it because it is always pjs then supper. I said to hubby why hadn't he got them changed and he said because you hadn't laid out their pyjamas. So I suggest he was quite capable of taking them out the drawer and I get told he doesn't know which drawer! Oh dear. I told him next time to ask the twins because they know!! And to think he has to cope this weekend when I'm away.image

    Minks - sorry Kit is unsettled. Hopefully is just a phase. I think you need to try really hard to be very matter of fact about it all and not shower him with attention. I know it is hard and you will feel so cruel but best in the long run. Bless him he does sound very sensitive and that has many good points too. Reece is the most sensitive of our kids I would say.

    MM - like you say a busy day already. Still at least you get all afternoon to sit with your feet up image not!

    Better go and get the other football strips on the line. I was delighted when hubby came back with 30 stinky football strips to wash this week, at least they are only for under 8s and not stinky teenagers.

  • i also popped to shops while i was out and bought half price dressing up clothes in asda for J and E, and some more pyjamas for them both; and some pens for them; and batteries; and a new mop... and >whispers< a pair of jeans and a top for myself in next.  i put my knee through my fave jeans last night so at least the jeans were required, if not the top. image

    i then bought some play sand in b &q as i have ordered a sand tray for the garden here.  why oh why do they put it in stupid plastic bags in about 10000kg sizes so that you can't actually get a purchase on the blessed stuff to pick it up.  still i don't need a man - did it myself!!

    and then i got home and found updated tenancy agreement has been sent to me with a clause saying i need to clean windows inside and out every 6 weeks.  what is that all about?!?!?! inside - fine; outside - err how? it is impossible to put a ladder up out the back - at least in a way which would be safe - as there are high walls within a couple of feet of the house, and i'm not balancing one on the top of the wall.  i may have to pay someone to come in and do it. perhaps i do need a man after all. image

  • blimey - that is quite some family tale, lotte.  am glad preparations are moving ahead, but am q surprised you can't be cremated on shetland. wouldn't have expected that.  hope you manage to sort the logistics, and that you manage to celebrate her life in a positive way with all the family.

    and re: niggle - it is easy to be wise after the event.  some of us make a habit of it - she says, with her bad back and stiff achilles...

  • So cute - my two are asleep end to end on the sofa - I was sat in the middle of them but I have extricated myself so I can get on with stuff!

    I still have 2 grandparents, but my dad's mum is really quite poorly now - she's still at home but has carers to go in and get her up and sit her in a chair where she stays until they come again to put her to bed. She can't walk any more but she doesn't want to go in a home. Plus she's nearly totally deaf and blind too. It couldn't really get much worse.
    My mum's dad is still fighting fit though and remarried!

    CM - our contract says we have to get the windows cleaned too but I do it myself - I guess its generally so that you don't let the place get too dirty while you live there??! Benefit of a bungalow is that I can reach them all!
  • CM you should NOT be picking up bags of sand with your back!!  Consider yourself well and truely told image
  • kinsey - aww, that is sweet! i used to clean the windows in our dormer bungalow (at least the ones i could reach) about ... three times a year.  image and it was generally when there were so many cobwebs with bits of grass / straw etc stuck to them that i could no longer see out of the windows.  however, here it will be a nightmare to clean the windows.  i won't even be able to reach the downstairs ones outside as they are too high.  and i am NOT balancing a ladder in a precarious manner.  i would need an enormous ladder (or one of those whizzy telescopic things i guess) to reach the top floor windows.  am thinking i shall be scouting around for a man to do the job.

    and yes, i know you are right, caro.  but sand, as anjelicals well knows, is essential to life if you are 4 or 18 months old.  therefore it takes priority over mummy's bad back!

  • amazing how many of us still have grandparents left.  i have one left, altho we don't have anything to do with her.  my mum's mum is still going - mid 80s now i think.  hips replaced, crippled with arthritis, smoked all her life, triple heart bypass in her 70s.  my mum hasn't spoken to her much in 30 years and not at all in the last 15.  it's a very strange situation, but i totally understand why my mum has had to cease all contact. my nan has managed to alienate all of her family and her (deceased) husband's now, so i think she is a sad lonely old woman.  she has never met my children, which is a real shame.  mum has left it up to me to decide whether to have anything to do with her, and i have chosen not to.  she is fairly poisonous and it wouldn't take her long to start slagging my mum off to me, and i don't want to hear it, and i certainly don't want my children to hear it.
  • Am trying to think of something nice to do at the wk end, not too far from home (within an hr by public transport or car) we live bottom of M11 - any suggestions??  Karen73R - you know where I live.  Have a fun day of cleaning planned for one of the days, but would like something (inexpensive) to do on the other.  Feel like I've had my fill of animal related things for the time being, so no farms/zoos.  Minks, RB, you're pretty localish too - any bright ideas?  My brain is full of bathroom tile patterns and has no room for naything else!  Thanks.

  • Lotte - just wanted to add my condolences too.  Your Gran sounded like a real character - with memories like that to share at the funeral, you'll be able to make much better a day of it.  My Gran died just over a year ago and she would have been 100 later this month if she was still alive.  She was a lovely lady too and it was great to be able to share some of the stories of her mischievous behaviour at her funeral with people who hadn't ever seen that side of her.

    MM - I had to laugh when I read your post about all that you had done already today and then saw the time you had posted - not even lunchtime!!

    CM - I know that your concern is totally for the safety and happiness of your children but I wouldn't have been able to resist gaining a little pleasure about the chinks in your husband's veneer.  Hee Hee!

    Mr TT is also totally useless when it comes to practical matters around the house - washing, ironing, cleaning, sorting things for Max etc etc but he is a great cook and brilliant with Max so I'm not complaining.

    Max is usually a great sleeper and even if he does not go straight to sleep in his cot when we put him down, he goes off on his own quietly.  A couple of nights ago he woke up screaming about an hour after we had put him down and was inconsolable for about half an hour by which time I think he was so exhausted he fell asleep in my arms.  We couldn't find anything wrong with him, although he had been a bit fussy for the previous couple of days so maybe wasn't feeling 100%.  How old do children start having nightmares?  Mr TT called it 'night terrors' which summed it up perfectly.  Any ideas?

  • Oh, I wondered if anyone could help with a little problem I have, we seem to have lost Max's first toy image and I really wanted to replace it.  Before asking my brother and SIL to send another, I wondered if any of you had seen these anywhere in the shops?

    nessie toy

    Thanks.

  • TT - poor max.  i think night terrors are generally for older babies / toddlers. i think normally around 2.  it *could* be teeth possibly?  J used to wake up in a terrible state with his teeth, and some nights E cries on and off all night.  (i am shocking - i just leave her to it!). most of the time she isn't even awake when she cries, so if i go into her, it wakes her up completely and makes it worse.  usually it is coupled with horrible nappies / nappy rash and being fussy about food.  then a couple of days later - bam, a tooth!

  • Ooooh, a tooth?!  We have been checking to see if any signs and nothing yet.  Apart from dribbling (he has always dribbled!) and chewing everything (ditto!) he doesn't seem to have any other symptoms.

    I'm not sure if he was awake when we went in to him as although his eyes were open, he was staring strangely (was pretty creepy to be honest).  I have noticed that most nights he will cry out once a short while after we have put him to bed but I think he is still asleep when he does it and soon settles himself again.

  • no, you often don't get symptoms when teeth appear. or only retrospectively do you realise that the being off colour / off food etc was then followed a day or so later by a tooth.
  • TT - did the Nessie have a brand and have you looked on ebay? I did get extra Dumbo's on there for Martha but now she carries 2 around and I have no spares!!
  • Normal-ish day really. Since then I booked village hall for boys' party in October, wrapped presents, wrote cards, collected them from pre-school. They had neighbour round to play so did sit down for an hour or so. Did some tidying up, cooked boys' tea, brought washing in and made some ratatouille for our tea. Very proud...our own courgettes, own aubergines, own toms and our onions and garlic image. Just added a pepper as mine all still green.

    Hubbie just gone for run as home early and then bath, feeding madam, our dinner and off to pre-school committee meeting. Think bed will be calling after that but probs go for drink with the out going comm members.

    Oh yes teeth, nightmare!!! image

    No grandparents left here. Mine died about 5 years ago. Right no rest for the wicked let the bedtime hour commence. Thank god its friday tom!!image

  • MM we're having stuffed summer squash tonight with a huge one from our garden.  I'm keen on trying aubergines next yr, will ask you for advice then.  Actually I was thinking of asking you about strawberries - mine from this yr are now happily sending out runners and so the border I planted them in is full of nice, healthy looking strawberry plants.  Presumably now the weather is cooling they'll stop doing this soon.  Should I just let them keep going till then, or should I be cutting the new runners off?  Also with the ones that have already produced baby plants that have grown roots, should I be separating them from the mother plant or just leave them attached?  Thanks - bit long winded, hope you get what I mean!
  • Kinsey - have been trying desperately to remember the brand of the nessie toy but everything I thought it was comes up blank on google image
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