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Flipperjane wrote (see)
For God's sake you are here to watch a film not Eat for England. Can you really not sit through one film without rustling sweet wrappers, opening noisy packets of sweets/crisps and crunching and munching all through the whole f....ing thing. you're all really fat anyway and the last thing you need is all that crap you are shovelling into your gob. If you are going to stuff your face at least do it quietly.
Slo, I used to find groups of yoofs intimidating - after all the meeja is full of lurid tales about them - until my son was a similar age, then I realised that most of them are, as your son says, good kids.
Mind you, I still keep an eye out for anything that seems more threatening - a group of testosterone fuelled adolescents full of booze can egg each other on to do daft things sometimes and I don't want to be in the middle of it.
I found myself hating JB the other day for starting this thread because he's turning me into an even GRUMPIER old bitch than I already am!
I had about four rants to post and now I can't remember any of them!
Because I am not just grumpy. I am also SENILE.
This thread would serve as a useful service to humanity, I would have thought!
Dear friend of my husband
In response to your enquiry, yes, our marriage is fine. No, I do not think he's having an affair. No, I have no worries on that score. No, I'm not going to discuss our sex life with you, it's none of your business. And, no, I do not find you attractive in that way. And NO, I do not want to have an affair with you. You're old enough to be my father, and I happen to be married and I know it is terribly old-fashioned of me, but I promised to be faithful to him, and that's what I intend to be. Now take your disgusting suggestions out of my face before I do something I have never done in my life and tip that pint of beer in your face. *watches as beer cascades everywhere*
*rings news of the world*
Dear dog walkers at the woods where I walk my dog.......
Poo - yes we all know dogs poo in the woods, so if it's on the path *please* clear it up (it's not rocket science you know) unlike that mountain I had to negociate earlier
Also, if you *do* clear up after your dog, for fcuk's sake don't bag it and throw it on the floor especially when the dog poo bin is only 50 yards away
that feels better
Tough shit I am not going to pander to your needy self absorbtion. You disgust me in so many ways and you can go and find someone else to project your own shit onto I am not playing. Actually I stopped playing 12 months ago but you were, yep, you guessed it too self absorbed to notice. You really need to stop trying being so whiter than white if people knew what I know they would not be pandering either but you are too weak to take the truth coming out and too fucked up to recognise it anyway
Johnny Blaze wrote (see)
I'd just like to say that when we had our office do a few weeks back i did share a twin-bedded room with a colleague (male) and that doesn't mean I'm gay because a) I'm not and b) I was rendered insensible by drink and could barely remember my own name so Kelly Brook could have been in the other bed and I would have still been comatose...
The following things should be banned from all marathons:
1 Fancy dress
2 People who don't train at all and intend walking the course- they'd be the sponsored walkers then
3 People who run 4 abreast to "be supportive"
4 Anyone cycling the course to support their mate
No - you are sooo right!
Dear tw*t with the horse box on the A51 this morning during my triathlon.
You have a sign on your box saying "please pass wide and slow"
I would ask you to do the same for ME on my pushbike and if you try to put me in a ditch again I shall ensure you end up as glue, not your horse.
Maybe it was Cake JB. (As in Cake on here, not the spongy variety.)
How did you get on LB?
Parklife wrote (see)
Maybe it was Cake JB.