Its our office Christmas party tonight, everyone is getting into the spirit of things by pulling crackers. So far the best one has been:
Q: What is brown and creeps around the kitchen at Christmas?
A: Mince pies
(yes I know it is supposed to be "mince spies" but they misprinted it)
So whats your favourite lame joke? From crackers or otherwise
Comments
How about:
Q: What's the best Christmas film?
A: There's Something About Mary
King Wenceslas goes into Pizza Hut and orders his pizza.....
Deep pan, crisp and even
Peter - I never thought of that interpretation!
I like both of the others ... the King Wenceslas joke was another one in the crackers this morning!
But mincing is hardly the same thing as creeping?
I think xine's interpretation is more likely the correct one.
What do you call a Reindeer with no eyes?
No idea!
What do you call a dead reindeer with no eyes?
Still no idea!
What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
Elk - a - seltzer!
Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?
Because snowman is an island
He's a fun guy to be with.
What do you call a group of Professors on the Underground
A tube of Smarties
The outside.
Brilliant
How does an eskimo build his house?
Igloos it together.
this made me laugh:
What's a specimen?
An Italian astronaut
Because he only comes once a year!
*groan*
What do you get if you swallow the Christmas decorations?
Tinsel-itis!
Oh dear, found some pretty bad knock knock jokes....
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas train home?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wayne
Wayne who?
Wayne in a manger
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Oakham
Oakham who?
Oakham all ye faithful
An another:
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.
Haha! Also made me laugh out loud knight rider
Cinders, I've got another one for you ...
Knock-Knock
Who's there?
Tree.
Tree who?
Tree wise men
Knock knock
Who's there?
Avon. Your bell's knackered.
That's not actually a Christmas cracker joke.
Who looks after Santa when he's sick?
The National Elf Service
Some cheesey jokes (to go with the crackers ...)
How do the Welsh grate cheese?
Caerphilly
What's the best cheese to hide a horse?
Mascapone
What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?
Nacho cheese
Which cheese would you use to lure a bear out of a cave?
Camembert
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Halloumi!
A confused snowflake.
whats white and cant climb trees?
a fridge.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a snowman?
Frostbite
whats a magican's favourite cheese
Ched Dah
that is bloody terrible, I'll shut the door on the way out