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Mental illness and running
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Mine is better of course
I did some stuff, I didn't do some stuff. But the day's not over yet!
What happened today SOLB?
I met up with someone today, talked about the last few weeks. He thought I was exaggerating - he was very diplomatic about it but I'm offended. It'll be fine, doesn't matter really - just one of those days where it would have been better if I hadn't got out of bed!
On the plus side I went to the dentist and tolerated the instruments and stuff in my mouth (I thought it might be too difficult) my poor chipped tooth isn't anywhere like as bad as I feared - just need to go back next week to get it fixed
I am off to yoga (at the loony bin) tomorrow, will report back on the success of my upside down tree dogginess tomorrow
At least a couple more hours work, I'm a night owl. As for washing up...I'm too busy doing things, may be another time?
Exaggerating? What a d***. Some people, at some times, can't deal with other people's stories of suffering. So by saying you're "exaggerating" he distances himself from you and (more importantly) the emotion it would take for him to acknowledge your distress. Not getting out of bed wouldn't have changed that.
Good job on the dentist and that's good news about the tooth.
Have fun at yoga, it's supposed to be good for runners.
Thanks Ben-o
Hope today is a good one everyone xxx
How was the yoga SOLB?
Hope everyone had a good day.
How was yoga SOLB?
Do you struggle to talk to your therapist after a break? I lose the rapport if I've missed a few weeks and then waste half the next session not really talking. I've never heard of anyone else doing it but I can't help it.
Ben-o can I turn the right way round now? (Actually I didn't go to yoga - couldn't face it)
I went to town and had tea with a friend, was nice but I feel really burned out now.
I haven't worked out the balance between putting on a coping with life type facade and being real. It's tiring and I don't feel quite right. I want to be me but I don't want to drown in the carp bits. Maybe it'll settle but I feel like I'm missing the groove a bit.
I'm sleepy *curls up in the corner and snores softly*
You do indeed need to look after yourself, By Eck. It's like they say on airplanes, put your oxygen mask on yourself then your child's. Or as I once heard in Home and Away, you can't save someone from drowning if you can't swim yourself.
I can't swim. Honestly, not even a length.
I want to say it's important to "just be". And in theory, I'm saying that. But I know what you mean SOLB. There's a kid's book written by Michael Rosen (I think) after his child (possibly) died, and at the front is an illustration of him smiling. And the caption is "This is me when I'm dying inside". (I think, or it's really upset or something) Sometimes trying to survive is all you can do and if it means putting on a facade to get through the day then that's what it takes. One day, you will be able to be genuine and not get overwhelmed but it's about knowing how much you can take.
Right, I've got to get back to work!
I got a text today from the guy I saw yesterday, he apologised - said it was just a joke but that he'd missed the mark ... not sure if that's the case but life is way too short for grudges and sorry is still sorry.
I really am off to bed now (have been saying that for about 3 hours) please would you administer a huge kick up the bum if I am faffing about tomorrow I have loads to do & the laziness is getting boring?
Hope everyone manages to get some sleep & you feel OK about this evening by 'eck
Lots of love xxx
Not finished working. Am panicking a bit, but hopefully I'll sort something out somehow? I've still got 24 hours or so.
SOLB, you're a better person than me for not holding a grudge. I never forgive but I do forget.
Ok, I've got loads to do tomorrow so one of those things shall be kicking you (virtually) until you do stuff.
Hope all's well By Eck.
x
Thanks for your thoughts SOLB.
Hopefully I'll just be doing the final touches tomorrow (formatting and such). I need to focus tonight though. Come on boy, be a winner! Go hard or go home! (and other cliches)
You ok this morning by 'eck?
Hope you are almost done Ben-o
I have someone coming to stay this weekend I'm nervous I've never had anyone stay over before cos they'll break all the OCD rules. I need to get rid of the old furniture that's in the spare room + wash all the sheets etc. Want to finish painting the bathroom and touch ups elsewhere and I need to return some stuff to my parents.
I have an appointment today but I don't remember what for, where or when - I haven't put my calendar back up since the move in Feb and its getting me into trouble!
Must get food and stuff in for my guest.
I am also ordering my cooker
I'm missing SOLBsis but dont have time to go & play ... MUST.DO.HOUSEWORK.MUST.DO.HOUSEWORK.MUST DO HOUSEWORK and virtual coffee + cake