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Mental illness and running
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Quite right. That was a first meeting then. I've met her twice this year - and probably a third time come Mundanie Christmas.
Did you make it out LR? I think its great that you had the self awareness and bravery to cancel and recuperate
I thought psychotherapy was doing nothing at all for me then suddenly had a break through a year in. For other people it gradually gets better and they can chart progress. I think I struggle to trust people enough to drop my guard to such a degree that it takes a while for therapy to stop bouncing off the coping mechanisms on the surface. Right now its more than enough for you to turn up and try to be open and honest - each session doesn't have to achieve anything on its own
Aww soupy it was great to meet you; I loved the moment of realisation when you said your forum name - I'm sorry we didn't get more time to talk (and dance!) I was conscious that i needed to look after R so she wasn't too overwhelmed by all the people with two names and big grins! What a night though
I made it out but only lasted 10 minutes before giving up. Frustrating as it means that even the beginners / improvers group is beyond me at the moment. Certainly not even going to try tonight. It has been a very stressful few days though. Trouble is the outlook is for more stressful days with family events on the horizon.
Latest session tonight - and not really anything to take from it. Not that I don't feel it's not going anywhere, just that it's another session of trying to get information across - in the hope that this might eventually be going somewhere eventually or I might at least get something that I can take away to try to work with. At this point, I find myself wondering - just why we are actually doing this what comes next. The only concern is that there are only 11 sessions and it feels likes they could quickly get used up at this rate.
LR - Hope your latest session wast ok, I used to feel I never got my point across and sometimes I get to a 'brick wall' but that's what the therapist is there for and sometimes you're not always aware of what you're learning, if that makes sense.
Good Luck
Steve
Thanks for the encouragement SB. It didn't seem very helpful this week. I find myself just wondering if all of this is every going anywhere. I'll certainly persevere though.
Sorry to hear things haven't improved for you LR, its been a few months since I posted on here because things have been pretty bad for me also. I've just been cleared to start running again following snapping my achilles in July, that brought me very low. I've now been referred to a psychiatrist who was relieved to know that I can exercise again as he agrees that exercise is a very useful complement to the meds - he's increased those as well. Now, like you, I just need to get out the door. As a wise man said, "this too shall pass" - I'm not convinced, its been 8 months off work now and I can't see myself back in the classroom any time soon. However, the psych is very persuasive and almost has me convinced that everyone "gets better". We'll see...
Thanks, Grimfoot. Really hope you can get out there again. I ended up off sick from work for the first time (as a cause of the depression) for three days following my last session of 'psychotherapy'. I was told at that session 'you can't change your emotions'. Long story, but this was a result of me identifying how the issues that I felt there was a way of working postively with. Didn't think it was going to get to me but it did. Still up in the air as to where things go from here - but I do feel that the talking at the sessions has at least given me something to try to work on - even if I'm not getting any support of backing from there with it.
Running has been very stop start lately - but did complete a 7 mile race - with a bit of help. Am leading a run at the running club tomorrow night - which I find makes running easier. Better get on and decide on a route.
Glad you're getting out there, I did the first session of the couch to 5k yesterday with my two daughters (10 and 6). That was fine, then I had contact from work today and my carefully constructed shell has cracked - many of the anxiety symptoms have returned, although, to be fair, they aren't as bad as once they were.
Plan a nice hilly route - that'll learn 'em!!
I did a hill session last time out and got fairly good feedback for it - but this time it's in a totally flat area so it's not an option this time.
Keep battling on - work can so often be the cause of problems. I think I had my return to work interview today - at least I was asked 'Are you OK' and I said yes. That's usually the extent of it - maybe just as well that way.
Hello everyone! It's been a while so thought I'd say hello. Tried to go back and catch up, but theres so many pages, so, how is everyone doing!? Good to see some new faces aound!
Waiting to speak to occupational health, back to my GP later this week because my "fit" note expires next week, meds being changed - its all go! I'm on the max dose of mitrazipine and heading for the max dose of sertraline (for my anxiety). Meanwhile my head is all over the place with the meds until I get used to them/they get worked in. Did another mile and a half today with my youngest, I'm OK going out if there's someone with me but I get a touch panicky if I'm on my own with people around that I don't know - and even sometimes with people I do know when thigns suddenly seem to get very loud and oppressive. The psychiatrist tells me that I will recover, I've got another appointment with him next week - he'll be glad I can run again even for a short distance, its enough to get a sweat on. Re-reading this post it seems a tad confused in places but I'm going to leave it as it is where I am at the moment - quite down, guilty, a bit irritable and mind going off in all sorts of directions. Time for my evening meds...
Hello guys. Been a while since I've been here and it looks like someone has been forgetting to put out tea and cake. Is normal tea and coffee cake good enough for everyone?
I seem to have taken a turn for the worse recently and so I am back to make use of the support and friendship on here.
Thanks to a comment from a thoughtless friend I have lost all confidence in my running ability and all motivation for trying.
Thanks to a series of events, including the loss of Beebs, I have dropped back into depression.
Thanks to a boss who lacks the human touch, I feel that I am a failure at work
And thanks to all of the above I have managed to alienate one of my closest friends.
Not much seems to be going right at the moment, but the good news is that I am still fighting
Errr, did you not swim the English Channel? Why would you care less whether someone thinks youre running fast enough?
As for your boss ...... look up 'the Peter Principle' ..... he's probably got as far as he can go, so his incompetence is there for everyone to see.
If they were one of your closest friends, you'll be able to build bridges again.
As Dolly Parton once said ...... if you want to see the rainbow, you've got to have a bit of rain.
SuperCaz you are doing much better than me at the running, you did 2 laps for the Santa dash unlike my little one and only lap with walking bits and were in front of me.
Tea and cake appreciated, I am expecting to have a down period having had such a good up time last weekend. Laughter is really a good medicine.
I've just found this threat and will read through it all eventually if I get the chance but I thought I'd say hello. I'm suffering from depression and anxiety as well. It's taken me a while to admit it and visit the Doctor but finally I've seen a way forward. I'm also on Paroxetine - but am not sure they are helping.
The Doctor this week asked if I'd stopped running - well after the Cardiff Half Marathon I did stop for two weeks. This has probably been mentioned before but stopping stops the endomorphins in the body (which are addictive). Running definately helps.
Anyhow - I've said hello now. I'll try and read back and keep up with this thread.
Gareth
Mr I, my swimming the Channel has little bearing on other things in life. It was only a bit of swimming. It says nothing about me as a person and really isn't the most defining factor about me.
The comment about my running had nothing to do with speed. I am happy with the speed that I run at. It was much more personal than that and unless you get to know me a lot better you won't understand why it is important.
Gareth, welcome to the thread. I wouldn't waste too much time reading back as a lot of it is just waffle as we get to know each other. Sorry to hear that you are another one who had fallen victim to the black dog but at least you recognise it and have some ideas of what you can do to help yourself.
CJ, it was a great weekend, but there will be plenty more
Hi SuperCaz - thank you for the welcome. Seems it runs in my family.
Gareth
I managed a lie in until 5:30 this morning which I'm pleased about, especially as I went to bed really early too.
I've been doing a lot of thinking this morning. Last time I was in a bad place was 10 years ago, almost to the day. I've been thinking about what I did last time to help myself and how I can apply that to this situation.
It was 10 years ago in April that SuperCaz came into existence after several months of struggling to understand where my life was going wrong. I started off by looking at myself objectively and wondering how others saw me, and what I would think if one of my friends behaved as I did. Identifying the flaws was painful, but it helped me to focus on what the real obstacles were to being happy, rather than blaming it all on everyone else, or fate.
The next stage was to identify what changes I could make to my life, my thinking and my actions. I focused on who I wanted to be and gave her a name 'SuperCaz' - a fictional person who I could play around with in my head and work out what it was about her that I admired and respected. SuperCaz was confident, popular, respected, good at what she did and she could achieve whatever she put her mind to. She made life look easy.
I've made some huge progress towards being the person I want to be, but recent circumstances have allowed me to take my eye off the ball. So as of today SuperCaz Mk II is being launched. Last time I suffered on my own, but this time I have a huge support network that I can draw on and I want it all to be out in the open just on the off chance that something I do triggers ideas that are beneficial to others.
SC the Mk1 version seemed to be doing alright when I last looked, you give me something to aspire to.
I had an odd day feeling thin and toned but knowing that the scales had told me I had put a few pounds back on in a very short period of time. Then I felt fat and all was even and normal, but I am working on good habits to replace not helpful ones.
Looks can be deceiving CJ, especially when you've had several years of practising hiding things.
Weight is a strange thing CJ. I'm feeling huge today which doesn't tally with my skirt being so lose that I have to keep pulling it up. But at least weight isn't one of my hang ups and I don't tend to weigh myself so have no idea whether I am gaining or losing.
Shouldnt you change your username then SupeCaz given your new name?
Nah, I'm still the same person, just with different goals
I wonder how people cope with not running? I ran Cardiff Half the other week and had such a buzz from it that I think I crashed really badly afterwards. It is a while before my next 'organised distance'. The anxiety and depression could be caused by that (adding to other things of course)
My Doctor said it is because I have gone cold turkey and the endomorphins have stopped and like any brain chemical they are addictive.
How does everyone else cope with having to take time of from running - if they are injured etc?
Gareth
Hi, welshgje. Just catching up after a busy few days.
I guess if there's one way in which I'm fortunate it's that I've never to date had a lengthy lay off through injury. I do constantly find it difficult to get out there and run though that I rarely achieve the all-important buzz these days. I have found that what works best for me though is leading runs with the running club. If I'm able to concentrate on other people's running it means it succesfully takes my attention away from myself and I can run OK.
I tend to deal with enforced rest by keeping busy doing other things. At the moment I am decorating, but it could be planning a get together with friends, putting together a training plan for when I am fit again, or catching up on something around the house that I've been putting off for ages
My old running club often had several 'walking wounded' that would meet up on club nights and go for a gentle walk. It was a good way of getting out and meeting people rather than sitting around moping.
It seems to be about 8 weeks between posts for me, I had a bad patch at the start of December then got a call out of the blue from a former colleague saying she'd recommended me for a job at a local school - and I got it! head on car crash Christmas Eve left me with a nasty case of whiplash but the new job started in January and so far everything is going well *crosses fingers*. The meds have evened out now although sometimes I "forget" to take them oddly enough if I'm feeling very down as I'm not convinced they work when that happens. Running 4 times a week now, intending to get into double figures this week and have improved my parkrun time by 6 minutes this month. Still 6 minutes slower than I was pre operation but its good to get out. I still have to pick routes where I know I won't meet anyone but I'm getting out. Its so interesting reading other people's posts, even those who are in the depths of despair have humour in their writing even if it is it is sometimes decidedly black
All power to everyone's elbows and have a good 2014 everyone, may this be the year when we all turn to the light and kick that big black dog right in the bits!!!
Good to hear your making progress, Grimfoot. I've certainly had a bad time running wise but have done a few Parkruns on the basis that it's about as far as I feel I can run non-stop at the moment. Difficult going at first but am gaining a bit of confidence at turning up which meant I improved my PB by 51 seconds. Even a Parkrun has been leaving me pretty exhausted for the rest of the day. I stopped taking the anti-depressants just over a week ago because I was feeling so rubbish. Yesterday's Parkrun may have been an indication that this was a good move - difficult to tell as there are ups and downs.
I have just been prescribed anti-depressants due to anxiety disorder and will be testing them out for a couple of weeks.
Hubby and I emigrated to Canada from the UK 3.5yrs ago and due to having to deal with a lot of doo doo, my nerves have been well and truly jangled. My weight has dropped and I have a high stress job. The doctor told me to eat more - first time I have ever heard that one.
Am doing a half marathon next weekend and then start training for a full marathon a couple of weeks after.
Good luck with that, its good to get out, if you can. I struggled for months with anxiety but the meds really helped - eventually!
Thanks Grimfoot....the kitchen table now looks like a pharmacy!
I am actively resting for a change, and have decided to take the weekend off from running etc., and RELAX.
Will resume next week, and it should be a good race.