Hit the delete

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Comments

  • I don't really know anyone who does worr(y) endlessly about who you might offend all the time. I really don't.

    I know these people must exist, but the vast majority of the people I know just give their side of things and manage without giving insult or causing a ruck

  • Teens, toddlers and strangers on the net excluded!

  • I have enough trouble hanging on to my thoughts, without trying to edit them !
  • Interesting analogy about toddler communication...

    Toddlers are only just getting to grips with the whole concept of "not causing offence"... Recently saw a little girl harmlessly (and pretty audibly) asking "Mummy why is that lady in a wheelchair?" - upon which mum shusshed her and muttered something like "you mustn't say things like that because it'll make the lady very sad"... Dealing with people with disabilities regularly I would guess that mum's reply would have made them a lot sadder than the kid's question.

    So we never "edit thoughts", we just edit what comes out of our mouths.

    I do know some people who edit what comes out of their mouths to such extent, that you no longer have any idea what their actual opinions are for all the appeasing and fence sitting...

    I guess as ever, the middle line is best?
  • I'm pretty honest to be honest, don't think I've ever deleted a reply that I've written. Wouldn't start writing it if I didn't mean to post it.
  • If in the real world someone drunkenly told someone else to F-off and was regularly abusive and confrontational it would not be tolerated.

    I don't see why it should be any different here.

    We have a lot of different personalities and people have varying degrees of how they share their thoughts and that is entirely up to the individual.

    If someone isn't comfortable with confrontation it does not make them boring. Maybe they just find their fun in less offensive ways.

    I don't think we should be expected to turn a blind eye to habitual bullish and nasty behaviour here, just as we wouldn't put up with it in the workplace, or in our homes.

    We all have to use self control or indeed the delete button occasionally.

  • What is offensive? It's such a subjective term. I wish there was a ignore button for people in "real life". I never ignore anyone but for any wimps who can't take it then sanctuary is only a click away.
  • Do the usual codes of social politeness and courtesy which we expect in the real world not apply here then?

  • Hope a lot of forums lack the usual codes of social politeness and courtesy tbh.

    Not saying it's right  (I always think it's a bit Lord of the Flies ish)   You do get to really see who people are. I think I'm the same in real life as I am on here. I suspect that is not true for everyone and forums provide an outlet for  behaviour which might be less tolerated by friends and family. Those are putting on a face for the world ?

  • If you are Goldilocks in disguise then I'm sure it is easy to be yourself on here and in public. However I think the ever popular Things you want to say but can't....thread,proves there is an inner Victor Meldrew in us that needs an outing once in a while.
  • I have been known to let rip Sussex image

    ..and I'm not talking farts.

    Anyhoo.... I go looking for a thread that kk posted a while ago on a similar topic of speaking your mind and found this Tri thread.

    Which puts your posts on this thread in a whole different light. You're not a toddler/teen or a troll. You're an alcoholic who let's rip when under the influence?

    Or should I have deleted that?

  • debbodebbo ✭✭✭
    well spotted OW, although personally I don't think using alcohol as an excuse is good enough really

    I might be wrong, but I *think* some of KKs gripe is about people defriending her on facebook without coming out and discussing why. I've defriended a few folk, for different reasons, and don't think I need to explain myself. It might be because I added them in the first flush of facebook days and realised I'm never going to see them again, or indeed have never met them, or else I didn't like reading their political rantings, or they posted too much drivel that I couldn't be arsed to read, or because I simply decided I didn't want them as a 'friend' in the virtual world. I would only feel I needed to justify it if the person was a 'real' friend, and if they were then I most likely wouldn't be defriending them anyway, or if I did, it would be a real life defriending, not a virtual one.

    I have also been defriended by folk from RW and didn't feel the need to post on here endlessly about it being passive aggressive underhand behaviour - that's life really
  • So you are saying KK is an abusive alcoholic?
  • What made you write the abusive bit Sussex
  • I thought that was what you were saying. OW.
  • MartenkayMartenkay ✭✭✭

    I have enjoyed OW insight to childrens' maturity and behaviour. I love OW 'profile' photo - I don't think she is being rude! 

    Of course the subject of this thread, I assume, was adults posting to the RW Forum but is it not strange how comments turned pointedly to behaviour of children. 

  • I don't think 'letting rip' is always abusive Sussex and I think that has been the point of this discussion. When is honesty appropriate and when is it not.

    Thank you Marten. I'll pay you later image

  • Have never defriended anyone on Facebook but one or too I have put their posts on "hide" so I don't have to read them.
  • i have several people on facebook who i hardly know......i haven't had the need for a cull yet......

    lots are not actual friends as such..they are in the running club or I have met them through an event and we have some interests in common.......but a number are people i have met not friends....

    i am not one of these people who can say they have hundreds of friendsimage

  • MartenkayMartenkay ✭✭✭

    Personally I don't like to see the thread becoming subjective to KK (but she is well able to fight her own corner) or anyone else. No reason why points cannot be made in a general way - as they say two wrongs don't make right.

  • sussex......why have someone as a friend but hide the posts.......don't understand....is it cowardice from you or are just sparing feelings as you know they would be genuinely upset if you defriended them
  • I don't like it either MK but then again I would defend OW's right to have a personal attack on KK.
  • kittenkat wrote (see)
    OW wrote (see)

    I don't think 'letting rip' is always abusive Sussex and I think that has been the point of this discussion. When is honesty appropriate and when is it not.

    Thank you Marten. I'll pay you later image

    I think also the appropriateness of honesty also depends on the relationship people on here have in 3D life. I think it's a human trait to take criticism much better from someone you know has your best interests at heart?

    I could have just looked and gone image and moved on but I have worked with people who's lives have been blighted by alcohol. Ignoring it or covering it up never makes it better.

    You're right, I don't know you. Whether I have your best interests at heart?  Well I doubt I'll think of you before I doze off tonight but tbh the easy thing to do would be to walk away saying nothing. It wouldn't necessarily have been in your best interest though. I don't wish you harm and that is the truth.

    It's interesting that we have been discussing speaking your mind and now I have... how did it feel? 

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