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Regret
stanmorek
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Ran my first race today in 4 years, the Vitality 10000. For those last 4 years I did little running for 2 years due to a knee injury.
Even before I crossed the finish line I began to remember why I hated racing in some ways. I always get feelings of regret I didn't try hard enough and didn't train enough. For no good reason, it doesn't matter if it's a personal best, I always feel cross with myself that I didn't get a better time. A few days or weeks later after the race I then think back and realise I did my best. It just spoils the enjoyment of racing for me.
Even before I crossed the finish line I began to remember why I hated racing in some ways. I always get feelings of regret I didn't try hard enough and didn't train enough. For no good reason, it doesn't matter if it's a personal best, I always feel cross with myself that I didn't get a better time. A few days or weeks later after the race I then think back and realise I did my best. It just spoils the enjoyment of racing for me.
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Comments
Just be proud of what you did.
I must admit I'm already looking forward to choosing my next race.
This year I went back, ran the whole way and achieved my goal time. Dragon slayed.
I'd also booked Liverpool in May (last weekend) but a nasty bout of tendonosis meant I didn't do a whole lot of running between Manchester and the race itself. I wasn't even sure I'd be able to complete it but I tried anyway. I ran out of gas at mile 16 and had to take walk breaks after 20, but unlike my first Manchester, I knew this was likely, was prepared for it and therefore I wasn't disappointed. I was proud I got round.
I think it's a matter of expectation. If you expect to achieve a certain result and then fail, it's easy to get down on yourself. And you seem to have very high expectations for yourself. Unless you're an elite, racing is more than just performance. It's also a shared experience, and you can take enjoyment from it even if it's not your day.
The only times I regret taking on a race is the ones that I get injuries which not knock me back for a while. Even though I'm dying from the lung busting sprint in the final stages afterwards I wish I could go back to the start and run the race again. These irrational feelings of disappointment will go away a few days afterwards.
I guess I may have unrealistic expectation of myself but I'm quite a laid back non-competitive person. Running is one of the few things in life that gets me going.
It's good to hear you came back and cracked your marathon the following year. Yes I agree racing is a time to enjoy the occassion. All races I've been to have had a friendly atmosphere and its good to meet other runners.
Actually I did regret during the race not giving that little boy in the crowd the high five he wanted. Too abosrbed with the running.
K