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Bereaved and missed some training
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Lost my Mum last week: a really big shock as unexpected. Whilst it may seem really inappropriate, I am still carrying on with my FLM training, but have obviously missed some runs. Any advice? I really want to keep it going, it helps keep my head together, but am tired and sad and supporting my elderly Dad. ANy suggestions?
Jiggi
Jiggi
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Comments
Just do what running you can this week, you still have plenty of time to fit long runs in the next few weeks.
I think your mum would want you to continue. Dedicate the race to her!
As everyone says go to get-you-round. you have time to do a few more long runs whenever you can fit them into the care you need to give your dad.
If you have been training well up until now you will already have built a base which will allow you to take a step back for a while
Dont pressurise yourself any more than you are already! Enjoy the day - its what its all about after all!!
My mum died at New Year 1999. My running helped me enourmously - I am sure she supported me, I remember dreaming one night she was running up a hill with me where I trained at the time she was keeping pace but the next thing she wasnt there - when I looked down the hill she was there waving. I like to think that was her way of wishing me luck before finally saying goodbye.
Good luck to you
Hope this helps
I don't think it would be inappropriate to carry on running as it will provide an "outlet".Do what you feel you can do and want to do. Don't put any extra pressure on yourself. If you don't do FLM 2006 there's always next year. Alternatively as others have suggested dedicated your run to her.
what an awful shock, I am so sorry.
I am sure that, if you have been training, you will get round.
And as others say, if you get to the day and it doesn't feel right, don't do it
flr
xxx
sorry to hear about your mum, the grief and heartache will take time to heal, carry on running and training as it will help, especially as you say that your mum and dad both supported you in your running. Remember that she wouldnt want you to stop because of her passing on.
can I suggest that while dedicating the FLM to your mum you could also use it to raise money for her favourite charity, its one way of seeing some good come out of your sad loss.
I am so sad for you. I really want to give you a big hug.
Your running will definately help. My prayers are with you.
Can I pledge £10 to your charity? If you put your justgiving address on this site I will take it from there. Otherwise please e mail me and let me know how I can donate.
Once again, I am so sorry x
I too would like to addd my condolences
How terrible for you
and i understand how running wewill help-and no, its not perverse to do FLM
If you feel its right-then its right
and of course you will finish
Would also like to support your lovely mums favourite charity
Big hugs to you and your family.
Ran flm last year in memory of my dad, who died 4 years previously, and to raise money for the hospice which looked after him - I could almost feel him booting me up the bum when things got hard.
Good luck - and don't forget to post details of how to donate.
For those people who asked my Mum's charity is the National Autistic Society (my 9 year old son is autistic) my justgiving address is:
www.justgiving.com/thea2006 sorry, not "linked". Please don't feel pressured in any way, your kindness is worth more than anything.
Much love
Jiggi x
Take things at your own pace, there are good and bad days, but with FLM as something to work towards it helps keep your mind focused.
All my love to you and your family
really sorry about your mum.
No one is going to judge you, if you want to run, do it. Lost my uncle to Prostate Cancer on Saturday. Must have been a very strange sight on my sunday run, as I cried all the way round, but obviously needed to.
Its your grief, you deal with it how you want to, and remember your mum would be proud of you.
PR I am so sorry about your Uncle. When I was running on Sunday it was very cold and bright and I cried a bit as I ran, but no one could tell if it was tears or my eyes watering in the sunshine. Anyway, it made me feel so much better and in a better frame of mind to support my Dad.
so sorry to hear about your mum and best wishes for the funeral today, i know it will be a real trial for you.
i also lost my mum very suddenly this time of year - 20 years ago now and she's still very much a part of my life
i wanted to let you know this as you can still do things 'with her' , i have a tray my mum made me and i still get it out every night to put the pepper and salt on, there are all sorts of little ways which help. and don't be afraid to talk to her.
also the first thing i did the next day was go out for a run, through the snow and crying all the way - but i think they would want you to carry on the normal things as far as you are able to, which i know may be difficult for you with your dad and son .
don't feel under pressure to stick to the training schedule if you don't feel up to it but treat running as a special time for yourself
let yourself get back into things as gradually as you need to, there will be bad days and less bad days. take each day at a time is a bit of a cliche but so true.
really feeling for you at the moment,
all the best
x
Mum's funeral was beautiful. Lots of people came that we hadn't expected but who were very important to Mum and who took me right back to my childhood! The visit to the funeral directors the day before was ghastly. I can only imagine it was amateur night at the undertakers when they got Mum ready as it really looked nothing like her. Obviously we expected some changes but it was terrible and it set my Dad right back. Thank God the funeral itself was just right, simple, calm and dignified just like Mum.