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Got home to Sports boy deciding to throw a strop, he's feeling hard done by so just argues about anything, and small one winds him up. By 7 they've been home for over 3 hours and have wound the wife off the scale, you get a lovely picture of homely bliss, not!
Feel like I've had no sleep at all this morning, but I know I have due to the wierd dreams. Got another busy day, and currently planning to go out for another plod round the block tonight even though I feel quite achy.
PDW its not a closed shop here, anyone can come and chat. Fantastic control to reduce the drinking by that much, hope you continue to feel better for it. As you said this thread does have some very frank and open conversations going through it. Hopefully, its helping everybody and not just me.
All the best
Paul
Paul
btw, this was going to be like a weblog but has turned very neatly into a group therapy session without having to find time to attend.
;-o~
One of the reasons I changed my drinking habits on my own was i couldn't face an AA meeting!
I wouldn't normally read this kind of book but i'm a bit of a 'technical logic' kind of bloke and try to apply it to everything, probably why i can't deal with real life very well!
I haven't posted for a while because I've been surprisingly 'level'. Last night I attended my first counselling session and I found it quite bemusing but very positive. I'm looking forward to future sessions now. I can't believe I talked solidly for 50 minutes - and I feel as though I could have gone on for hours. It's so nice to be able to open up to someone who isn't going to be telling anyone else anything - and isn't going to make any personal judgements - only professional ones.
Anyway, that's my update for now.
Hope everyone feels reasonably human today!
Well I finally did it yesterday, forgot to take the damn tablet! I found it in my shirt pocket on the way home, so took it 11 hours late, without food. Consequently, last night felt a bit strange so didn't go running. When I got up this morning, its was like being very drunk, I was weaving all over the place and nearly falling over. Not a nice feeling.
Anyway, the worst of that seems to have gone and there's onlt a bit if I stand up or turn round too quick.
Still feeling very tired even though I got 7 hours unbroken sleep last night. Seem to be better in the morning, and fade away quite quickly after lunchtime - and no I'm not skipping lunch. I'll try a new regime, and go out at lunchtime for a bit, rather then just stopping work and having a break.
I always had to remember to take a little blue pill (nearly) every day before I was on the ADs (to prevent babies) so I've had a routine for a while. I just take my ADs in the evening with my little blue contraceptive. That way if I forget to take them not only will I be depressed but I might be pregnant too! Great incentive to remember to take them...
:-)
Its little one's birthday toady but he wasn't up befire I left for work. I rang him and he ssemed quite pleased, and I'm leaving early to go help with the new toys.
I'm also fed up to the ack teeth with evrything again today, especially exercise, in any form. I need to go running or something, it felt good on Monday, but there are always too many reasons not to go. I tried to have a timetable but that isn't working either.
Sorry just having a bad feelings day.
if exercise feels like a chore - you wont do it - is there anything you enjoy doing more - going swimming (with kids)gym , maybe a run around with rugby - praps doing some training with rugger teams would help - gets you moving and out and about - and with peeps which helps get you out of the 'internal' state (turned inwards, introspective etc) while focussing on something outside your head space
i find things that make me interact with other peeps help, or where i have to concentrate a bit on something - running and walking can be solitary and can fuel introspection and the downward spiral
pity you cant play 5 a side at lunchtime or do something in a 'playmode'
no feeling a bit sad, even though we sort of "made up". alsorts of carp parent feelings, need sleep I think.
(((((((Staggers))))))
[strokes head softly to induce sleepy-type feelings]
sort of down, even after the rugby this morning. Not gone to kids rugby, well neither have the kids due to one cold and an aching ankle.
Might go for a run or a walk in a bit totry and clear head feeling with some time to myself.
They dont expect it either
youre human!
Had a bad night's sleep or accurately, lack of it on Sunday and ended up with a very stiff and sore neck. Felt like a trapped nerve or muscle spasm, so stayed in bed. In fact slept for about 6 hours during the day and still slept most of the night on Monday! Hmm, no points for saying I was tired...
Still off work this morning but starting to loosen up a bit. Still feel a little tired but can't get back to sleep! Weighed myself this morning and wished I hadn't, but it shows how little control I've been using recently. But I've decided that the running is going to get back into a regular routine and the simple targets of being fitter (i.e. go faster on short runs and further for long runs).
Hugs. Sounds like you've been having a few minor setbacks recently. I know the feeling. Just when I sorted out my running and weight training regime, I get PMS, act like the mother from hell (shout at the kids for the slightest thing) and get the fluey/cold bug that's going round at the moment! I spent most of Saturday afternoon in bed and all of yesterday in bed (I should have been at the running shop but knew I wouldn't be any good to anyone - chocolate teapot syndrome) between school runs.
I did go to work in the gym on Sunday, thinking that might perk me up but it didn't. Luckily I only had one review to do and I did a little bit of the cleaning but felt light-headed and dizzy, achey and my appetite had disappeared!
Feeling a bit better today though but hate the dark mornings. I think I suffer from SAD anyway. Also, starting to get depressed at all the stuff I need to start doing for Christmas. At least I've bought the Christmas cards so that's a start! I hate the commercialism of Christmas these days!!
Anyway, rant over. I blame the hormones and the bug I've got! Probably I'm just a miserable, cynical old git!!
CC
youre human
hugs
xx
Take it easy CC and get rid of the cold before you try to do too much, otherwise it'll be around for weeks. It might be a pain not being able to do the things that help keep your world going for a few days, but with these bugs going around at the moment if you don't rest and get rid of them, they do last for weeks. And that will set you back a long way, plus make Xmas even worse by taking away the time you need to be sorted.
((((CC)))
Cant cope anymore, nervous and embarrased bout it. going to docs 2morra to get back onto medication and sort out phycotherapy etc. gonna be hard but hope it can (in the furture) bring some light into my tunnel... havn't run for days too tired feeling guilty about not running but can't physically do it
Thought i was alone obviously not, it helps, thankyou
Don't feel embarrassed or guilty - you are ill and need to get better before you can function properly. Would you feel guilty about not running if you had flu?
difficult to talk to anyone at the mo, don't have any friends and those who know me think im weird. Coz i try to hide it by being outgoing but always end up making a tit of myself, they call me they're entertainment! Hurts. but i spose im negative and alone coz thats the way my brain works at the moment and lack of self esteeme and social phobia etc... bla de bla
BUT, im gonna do it this time.
You are not alone - even though it feels like it.
Email if you like. But definitely see the docs. They will help, promise.