Are we obsessed with our body image?

[Deleted User]

TG, given Elle's a bit of mentalist (reportedly) I'd have to judge which was the least loopy. As for body shape.....it would depend if I were an aging rock star who needed to plump up my ego. I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't opt for a "really" big lass but maybe my definition of "really" big might be different from yours. Sticking with honesty, I wouldn't actually choose women on that basis. Not for me the supermarket approach to relationships.

[Deleted User]

Peppermint, I mentioned "long distance" does that count?

Unknown

So to re-iterate LyneW's point, is a size 16 considered 'really big', since that was Monroe's size?

Most women around that size are made to feel enourmous. Somehow if we are bigger than Calista Flockhart, we are not good enough.

Sam Panther

Agreed with most of the article but disagreed with a few points.

Will just say, sounds like people are basing their self worth on other people's opinions. Also other people who don't care about them.

I used to do that a lot and only a little now after the realisation you can't make somebody else do something including changing their opinion. You can only change yourself and your opinions.

Also do the people in your life who care about you, are they worried about your size? Upto you whether their opinions are important enough for you to change the way you think and feel.

Otherwise feel good about your size and shape.

And if there are reasons you could be healthier or fitter than go for it.

Does this make sense?

I do realise your opinion could be influenced by whats in magazines etc but you go to feel good about yourself and also feel good about the reality.

Unknown

No, I'm not influenced by other people's opinions, which can sometimes be a tad narrow-minded. It's either height, weight or my mere existence with me, from other people's feedback!!!

So to answer your question, I am generally happy with my shape and size and I just want to be as fit as i can be,

Sam Panther

Glad to hear you are happy with your shape and size

Would suggest you set yourself a target on the fitness thing.

Eg. VO2 max or recovery time after doing a step test.

Obviously to set a target you have to know where you are now to decide where you are going and how long it is going to take you.

Hope that helps

[Deleted User]

I think that song by errm dionne warwick i think says it all.
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all...
I echo the comments from earlier ..i know loads of bigger women who are absolutly beautiful and i think that the definition of large is very subjective..
As for the comment about karger ladies on the cover of RW i think that's a fantastic idea...I can think of many a woman who would be motivated by that..
I really like the catalogues who are using bugger models these days..my sister modelled for evans and marks and sparks and she's a 18/20...

[Deleted User]

ooops dyslexic again

XFR Bear

Wasn't it her niece?

Don Minquez

Where are all the skinny birds?

[Deleted User]

The big girls have eaten 'em! Only joking...I couldn't resist it...sorry...I'll get me coat

[Deleted User]

it was whitney i think that sang that, y'know, the druggy anorexic.

Don Minquez

No... Moosey, you're thinking of Keith Richards!

[Deleted User]

i wasn't, but unfortunately i am now (bangs head to remove image)

Unknown

Your head will be very sore Moosey, hard image to remove!!!

[Deleted User]

seriously..... am unsure re anorexia/ bulimia links to media. these illnesses were well documented hundreds of years ago before mass media, and when plump was desirable as it indicated good social status. i think there's some link but certainly not as strong as other factors (difficult adolescence, bullying, hard family background, perfectionist) the perfectionist bit rings true, a good friend suffered, and always says it was never about the way she looked, but always about it being something she could control when there were so many other factors in her life that she couldn't control.

ps she's fine now, and can't even relate to herself then as she's sorted her head out now.

[Deleted User]

Don't fret girls. I'm perfectly proportioned apart from a large head and an over developed rib-cage due to suffering from asthma for the first third of my life and I still have to opt for the XL T-shirts after a race.

I think most men are comfortable with the size they are because they ignore comments from women and men aren't interested enough to comment and have more sense than to do so anyway. I can't guarantee that younger men haven't succumbed to obsession with their appearance but pity them if they have. I guess hair gel must be pretty unpleasant stuff to wear.

What am I rabbiting on about? Its easy for men to lose weight if they want to because they have a different metabolism to women anyway. They mostly can't be bothered to.

BO

[Deleted User]

Recently did my first marathon and went on a little shopping trip as a reward. I got upset because nothing fitted and I felt fat and frumpy. Then I reminded myself that I'm physically and mentally strong enough to get round 26.2 miles, so I refuse to be upset anymore by rubbish clothes shops! I'm carrying a few extra pounds, but I'm fit and healthy and happy. That's all that matters.

I'm glad that your friend is okay now, moosey. Recovering from an eating disorder is a real triumph.

[Deleted User]

Remember a poster seen years ago...

Picture of miss piggy-esque bird laying on a chez-lounge eating chocs above the caption:

"There are 14 women in the world who look like supermodels...and 3 billion who don't."

Nuff said.

Lovejoy.

[Deleted User]

Aren't eating disorders supposed to be symptoms of other problems? I read somewhere that sometimes they develop because people feel they have lost control of their lives and food is the only thing left they can control.

Its worrying when you read about 9 or 10 year olds developing eating disorders though - the media certainly must hold some responsiblity for that.

[Deleted User]

the thing about anorexia is that although it may indeed start out as a desire to lose weight, the brain quickly ceases to function in a logical, reasonable fashion when you severely restrict calories and it turns into something else entirely. been there, done it. it is so much more than simple media pressure to be thin, it really is more than i think we can properly understand.
and as for people having ' too strong a personality to fall into anorexia', i'm not proud of what i id but i do take afront at the suggestion that it is only weak minded people that this happens to. have youever tried surviving on an apple and some raisins only, all day every day for months? and there is certainly nothing weak about recovery.

Stickless

There was a terrific radio programme on anorexia a few years back, a play, written by an anorexic. Three characters: herself, telling the story, the voice she heard in her head telling her that she needed to control, streamline and make her body otherwise superefficient (the voice sounded scarily like Maggie Thatcher), and the voice of the medical advisers chronicling her progress.

Body image matters horribly, as I discovered for other reasons when obviously crippled. It's a survival instinct that's absolutely basic, and as such it is just as dominant as hunger and love, and inevitably intertwined with those. Getting the mind to over-ride that instinct and accept the body as is, rather than as culture/mind perceives it ought to be is a terribly difficult task. No wonder overcoming eating disorders is such a challenge.

My self-image did recover some time before my body did, in fact grace to a bunch of runners, long before I could run. A day does not go by wherein I do not think of them.