Howdy, Stranger!
Categories
Options
Pirate DIY Half IM 2016
The materials in this website are in no way intended to replace the professional medical care, advice, diagnosis or treatment of a doctor, qualified personal trainer, therapist, dietitian or nutritionist Runners's World, Part of the Hearst UK well-being network © Copyright 2017
Comments
Jo, Q, Jordy and Q's parents you are all Oarsome individuals and thank you so much for your hospitality and organisation.
Do you have a lost property bin ? I seem to have lost a left yellow sock, one cycling glove and a black fleece beanie ?!
While the weather wasn't kind to us it but it did give me the chance to book a flight to Mallorca to support the PSOF championship race and repay the support and sherpa duties as required.
Thanks for the tyres Red Stripe, saved me a load of hassle and the 25s were much comfier than the 23s I had
A fab weekend
Great to catch up with everyone. Like I said last night me, SA and Jordy feel so humble that some of you guys spend hours travelling to get to our little event 
We have amazing friends 
Same time next year? .... 
Red Stripe ... I will have a good look round for you re lost stuff.
EEERRRRRRRR
turns up at your door at 7 am on a Sunday.
Although not racing, it was great to meet so many of you and get a true appreciation of what the pirates are about.
Looking forward to the champs in Sept even more now!
Thanks again Q, Jo, Jords and Q's parents.
this weekend again exceeded expectations....with our hosts being amazing again.
really enjoyed it.despite not PB'ing
Mrs SA I think I may have left some at the leisure centre so No problem
don't look too hard. If they turn up they turn up ! 
Ive long wanted to attend this premier pirate event, but missed it due to its previous clashes with London Marathon.
SA, Mrs SA, Jordy and SA's parents, a massive thank you for organising the weekend, chip butties, meatball roles, drinks and opening your homes to us. Thanks to Lou for the hoody
A tough, but the right decision on Saturday to cut the bike short, an inspired idea to allow more drinking time. I was impressed how early everyone managed to get to the pub. Talking of which, ive just one minor suggestion for improvements in any future event. Can you get someone a little less shit to do the swim lap counting
Nice to see everyone, good racing and drinking.
Race report
After an ok sleep in the new improved burger van I was up and raring to go for my Saturday race slot...
The weather wasnt too bad as we jumped in the pool....I had my trusty poolbuoy with me and the 6 of us set off quickly getting into the correct seeding.....
Effing madness soon showed his superior swim ability by lapping me on a regular bases.. I started getting cramp which I am bvlaming on the calf guards and so had to stop pushing off the sides to keep my legs happy... Managed to catch my little finger three times on the massive nasty lane ropes ..Cant count over 2 so just stayed in for around 47 minutes as I knew that would have me doing the distance.
out of the pool and it was freezing outside.....was glad I still had my winter shoes on my cycling shoes... so decided to be sensible and put on gillet and armwarmers and raincoat....I could always strip off at the feed station.....decided to leave the leg warmers......bad mistake..
Out on the bike...powering up the hills on the first lap...looked at watch and was averaging 12 mph...after M&M's pep talk as he passed me.....My speed sped up to..... 11mph
I managed a second lap and I was convinced my brakes on the bike were locked on... I was freezing and couldnt warm up despite the Stopped at the feed station and Duda the engineer told me it was good to go....I should have taken the second opinion that Durham biker offered that it was bollocked....
off on the third lap and within a minute the hail started...boy does it sting the legs.....I was looking for a bus stop but there was no escape...It just got heavier and harder and my language was not nice....
My hands were struggling to change gear and even the thunder and lightening didnt scare the hail away...longest shower I have known..was a little miserable finishing the lap and was not surprised to hear that the race had been abandoned..I am too quiet and shy to argue with a race director...
so back to T2 for the shower and 10 layers of clothing.......a few went out for a run to warm up but i declined the offer..
took me until we got to the pub later on to actually warm up.
But again a brilliant weekend...great atmosphere in the pub both nights.great fun on the feedstations....I managed to get a few wonderful hugs with Mini M&M...
I managed a whole lap of the bike on sunday before giving up..
so 1.2 mile swam... about 20 miles on the bike in total averaging 11 mph and no running....Lanza I am ready
Me and Hof were convinced to change to Sunday, which meant we avoided being out on the bikes when God started throwing ice cubes at everyone. At the pool we got told off for going to the poolside loos because of there being kids about, so we went and stood in reception for a bit scaring the kids there instead. Got in a lane with Sa, Holgs, Hof and Soupy and got on with the swim feeling a bit rough for some unknown reason...
Top sandbagging from Sa as he had us convinced he'd be shit, but he passed us all anyway. Holgs needs a new Garmin ambit can't count as he insisted we'd done 76 lengths when we hadn't, but who am I to argue with royalty? Hof stayed in and got the full swim done but made up for it by cheating on the bike.
Out into T1 to get out on the bike and receive the usual helpful comments and advice from M&M. Lee the Pea was up to her usual marshalling standards and had her back to me, but luckily I knew the way. Was passed on my first lap by SpeedyCOLT who was far too cheerful and supportive. Smug git. Started ticking off the laps with my average speed varying between 15.5 and 16mph depending on where I was on the course. Then I saw Holgs up infront pedalling squares up the climb. It felt a bit wrong passing him but I'm not shy so I'm having it. Next lap I managed to reel SA in, and as I drew level I said to him that I thought TT bikes were supposed to be fast. That resulted in a couple of laps playing leapfrog with him.
Then knee pain started kicking in and over a couple of laps got worse, so decided to call it a day at 8 laps and no running.
so a short swim and a short bike and no run.... sounds like a good race
Found in T2 ..... towel/goggles and a yellow swim cap with "vital events" printed on it
Found in SA's car ..... pair of clear sunglasses. Think they may be Effing Madness's?
Not found yellow sock yet Red Stripe! But I have found a very nice triathlon transition towel
I am back at the leisure centre tomorrow, but I think the chances of anyone handing in 1 sock is pretty slim!!!
..... but I will check for you. You never know!
My full report is now up on the PSOF website. It can be found here
Race report Sunday:
Arrived at Ville de SAnta at around 8am to see all the bright shiny Pirates that went to bed early the night before due to an early finish...something to do with a bit of hail!!
Sorted my kit out, nice cup of tea, a chat to the posse and had to be shown the dangly bit on the May calandar - Nice helmet SA.
Was not swimming because I was a bit chesty (moobs hanging out!) / wimpy more like...so waited for the swim team to start showing up before setting off on the bike - just as it started to drizzzle. Thought I'd give speedy COLT a head start!
First time doing the event (SA's M&D's drink station last year) so was going slow to find the loop, nearly had a zero MPH crah at the first roundabout though. Saw the back of Lea the Pee so knew I was on the right track - road.
First lap take it slow to ensure I had all the correct turns sorted. Saw Seren waving at me and shouting something about a sharp bend.....Oh that one - just made it around that one. Rest of the laps were going pretty good, was passed by speedy COLT on lap 2 and lap 11 (I think) did anyone check his bike for an engine? Passed Holgs and was passed by Duda, but after that did not see anyone else (wondering if they were all in the pub already!) Rained pretty much all the way round and great support from the drink station standing around there waiting for us to lap each time - mant thanks great rush going past there.
So back to SA Mansion to change for the run, and everyone was there (been to the pub?) so set off on the run, had a chat with Hoff and again did not see anyone else except at the SA's each lap. Decided to stop at the 10 mile point (lap 3) to save every one waiting around for me to do another lap, I'd had enough by then too..
Lovely to meet you all old and new, thanks to SA's (loved the Jordy support again) for putting up with groups of people from all over using your house as race HQ.
Pros:
Great people and hospitality
Great bike and run course
Saw my first empty lap count / package weight spreadsheet
Used a yellow sock as a willie warmer as it so was cold!! (joke RS!!)
Cons:
Did not collect my Pete the Parrot - if there is still one around can it be posted please (I will pay for the postage)?
Hope you have a great time in Lanza and don't be sh1t3!!!
yes there is a pete available for you, pm me your address and will get it posted
Thanks Q - pm sent
I shouted sharp left to everyone......seems like the majority of pirates do not understand the term sharp
Sorry its late and long!
Race Report Saturday
(Too long and I have missed loads of stuff/people & happenings - but too memorable a day not to try and put some of it into words)
So the day had arrived and I was to meet Pirates in the flesh for the first time, I am not counting the time I met Daylight at LCW swim cos he was wearing rubber! (Sorry I missed you on Sunday Daylight)
I got up at 5.00am had my LCHF breakfast and then left my place for the drive North arriving at SA Towers around 07:15, I knew I had got there cos Duda’s Landy (Pirate Sicker Rampant) and an Icecream Van were parked outside! (who would try and sell ice creams in Macclesfield in May?)
Having checked by text with Duda that I had the right place I knocked on the front door, the back door opened and there was one of the SA’s, I can’t for the life of me remember which, but the welcome was warm and tasted like tea! I had been looking forward to and finally met Duda and the Ginja Ninja and their two boys.
Over the next few hours people started to arrive at Race HQ/T2 and we all got acquainted and some tentative piss takes began, on enquiring where the toilet was so I could get changed into my race gear, I was informed by Matt (the Tall one) that there was nowhere and that as it was my first time I had to change in the garage but only after I had waited for him to get the ladies and their cameras! Let’s just say it was a particularly cold day, I am nearly 50, I feel they would have been sorely disappointed! I found the loo!
One fella even had a proper Aero Helmet, which made him look very professyonaal!
I am cr*p at names so I won’t list you all here for fear of offending someone by omission but needless to say everyone was easy going, easy to get on with and it was a pleasure to meet you all.
SA undertook the Pre-ace Briefing which was useful, short and to the point (A refreshing change)
We then had a leisurely ride to the leisure centre whilst our T1 bags were transported there for us, the service at this event is like a real race!
We set up T1 against the fencing and then posed for photo’s on various devices and there were some un-posed shots taken too. It is at this point I would like to point out that the fella who appears to be looking at Stanners arse and smiling in the photo on the PSOF website, is not me, ok it is me but can I please make it clear that I am not checking Stanners arse out, I am only looking on with an ironic smile in sympathy with the poor fella being objectified (shameless behaviour ladies)
It was a very cold morning and the swimmers were very glad to get into the Leisure centre where we thawed out a bit before being allowed onto poolside. Seren was so excited and keyed up for the race that she had to have a lie down on the tiles in the changing room, her “race legal” Pool Buoy made a nice pillow! She hid her pre-race nerves like a true pro, impressive stuff Seren!
The swim started a few minutes late but we soon sorted ourselves out and I think we all had a reasonable swim? I got a bit fed up of Seren tapping my ankles so she could get passed, I reccon it was the Pool Buoy that was making her go so fast! If I got in anyone’s way or splashed you etc I apologise, 1950m in 32:40 I will take that!
When I exited from the lovely warmth of the leisure centre, I carried that warmth with me for such a long time, it must have been milliseconds at least! I honestly thought I was first out of the pool but when I looked round I saw Ginja Ninja there too she must have had a great swim.
Got dressed, got on bike and left T1, went over speed bumps, lost bottle, Marshal noted had lost bottle and collected for me to leave on the bike course special needs (like
Whoops some of it disappeared!
Got dressed, got on bike and left T1, went over speed bumps, lost bottle, Marshal noted had lost bottle and collected for me to leave on the bike course special needs (like I said earlier, almost like a real race, only better) THANK YOU!
Duda was on the first roundabout, told him I had cheated in the swim (cos being able to swim is considered cheating apparently) and then continued to see Lee the Pea at the next turn and onto the bike course proper! Luckily she was looking my way.
The bike was a bit of a blur and I don’t recall a lot of it, undulating with a few nice climbs and some interesting bends! My first lap was a bit tentative and when I met Durham Biker who was Marshalling the tricky turn-round point, his frantic waving pointing and shouting didn’t quite get through and I overcooked the turn the first time, good job there wasn’t a Landrover coming the other way!
Down the hill, to the narrow bit, was exciting (Dark Lane?) then it was a gentle climb back to Mum and Dad SA’s house, via a sharp corner manned by the SA support crew who were hiding the big puddle, loads of noise as I passed which was great, really cheered me up as I was feeling somewhat cold by then (very poor choice of attire on my part) Tri top and Gilet was never going to be enough on that day!
Then it was lap 2 and as my previous reccy lap was behind me I started to go a bit quicker and with more confidence, until I overcooked the sharp turn again! I know I said I had it this time and yes DB you were trying to warn me again and yes I didn’t learn and yes I should have slowed down! Anyway this time I overshot the corner even worse than the first time to the great amusement of DB
Down on the bars to take advantage of the elevation loss, two cyclists in front out for a bimble, and a white Range Rover stopped to let them past, calculated in head that I would be past the Landrover before he pulled out and so didn’t slow down, BIG MISTAKE! Landrover pulled out, nowhere to go other than into the back of cyclist in front or into verge, chose the verge and then CRASH! It’s a pity Stanner’s hadn’t caught me up yet as there were no direct eye witnesses but piecing together what I can remember with the Garmin track, this is what I think happened.
I reached 29.8mph on the descent down on the bars, this dropped to 26.2mph (must have found the brakes) just before the speed trace flat-lined and at that point I must have been flat on my arse doing zero mph whilst eating grit and dirt. I vaguely remember going over the handlebars and my head definitely made contact with the ground but not heavily, next thing I know I was once again on my feet and retrieving the bike from the road.
The two cyclists must have heard my very manly high pitched screams and turned round to see me get up, they were incredibly kind and helpful as you would expect from fellow cyclists! I am really pleased I managed to not take her out whilst crashing!
With hindsight I should have slowed down and I guess my cornering experiences might point to the fact I was in race mode and nothing was going to stop me, note to self etc etc etc.
I did another loop but was stuck on the big chainring and 2 cogs from bottom at the back which made the hills very painful. The hail hurt like hell and I lived up to my forum name for a while EFFING my way along the road with numb fingers, then the shock caught up with me and I had to bail at SA’s parent’s house. They could not have been kinder and SA’s dad helped me clean my arm up in the sink and made me a cup of tea, a coat was found for me and I proceeded to shiver my way outside.
Thank fully race director SA noticed I was in a pretty poor state (I was not thinking particularly well at that point) SA took me back to race HQ where I spent some time in the shower thawing out, if it wasn’t for his quick action I would probably have been hypothermic very shortly thereafter and then it could have been a very different story! So thank you SA your quick action probably saved me from a far worse situation!
The race got cancelled shortly after on safety grounds, the weather was horrendous, we couldn’t see the road at one point as it was covered white over in hail!
An afternoon of Tea, more Tea and chatting with the other Pirates then followed which I thoroughly enjoyed we had some real good belly laughs and DB myself and Hoff invented quite a few new Triathlon aides and devices in the process, PAT PENDING!
Then we went to the pub for our T it was a really happy social affair which I thoroughly enjoyed, Schmunks was trying to avoid sitting with Barley which was funny! I offered to give him my seat but The Kit Fairy reminded me that my kit order might go missing in the post so I sat down again!
I would have loved to stay for the fun later on but had to be elsewhere (my offer to marshal next year still stands SA, that is, if you run the event again)
Saying goodbye to everyone was a bit sad, it took such a short time but I feel that I made some real friends that day, thank you to everyone for the part you played in making my first Pirate outing such a memorable one.
As I reached out to shake SA by the hand and to say thank you, I heard the words “we don’t shake hands round here” and I was then enveloped in a big, VERY manly, man-like hug by SA, it was all brotherly like a big next of kin king of thing, I can’t tell you how masculine that hug really was, in all honesty I was genuinely touched and it didn’t feel weird at all SA, let’s do it again sometime soon! And the Triathlon!
just got to find SA now
Thanks for your work recovering this, Seren