Depression due to recurring injury issues

Been on this forum so many times for one stupid niggle or another. Never anything major - just enough to make running uncomfortable. Last 5 years have been a cycle of 'fix the niggle'; back to running; pick up another niggle; rest; back to running; and repeat.

I am so sick of it. I took a month off exercise at the end of last year to try to rest everything and then used the 025K programme to get myself back very very gradually. Now picked up a sore knee [nothing specific - just enough that running is painful and I don't enjoy it].

Resting this week, by not running and using an elliptical indoors to do some sort of activity. I also do 15 mins stretching at the start and end of each working day, on advice from my physio.

I'm wfh so spend all day M-F in the kitchen. Up until this week, I used my running to get rid of the frustrations of work and just to get out of the house. It was something to look forward to, even if my knee was sore.

Trouble is that now, I spend a lot of time crying with the frustration of being cooped up and not able to get out for a run to relieve the tension. I am so envious of my fellow runners who are enjoying themselves - running for miles, running for the hell of it, running without any pain. When will it be my turn? I have been a runner since I was 18 [I'm 56 now] and have no patience with this situation. I almost wish I'd break a leg and then I'd have something 'serious' to prevent me running instead of 'a sore knee'.

Need a 'hand-hold' really? :'(

Comments

  • TTTT ✭✭✭
    Ftm42, if I was allowed to give you a big hug I would do.

    I can completely understand where you are coming from. And even as I write that I realise that it's not much help. I 'suffer' from depression, my GP is brilliant, have you seen yours? I also, through a running friend found a fab counsellor who really understands when I can't run because of injury and the impact on my mental health. 

    It's tough, I am not going to deny that, but life can become easier, and there is life away from running, I know because I have had to find it.

    I wish you well,
  • ftm42ftm42 ✭✭✭
    Hi TT - thanks. Just can't seem to stop crying. My running is my anti-depressant so I feel completely lost without it. Doesn't help that I have 3 grown up boys and a totally non-exercising husband, none of whom sympathise in the slightest with a menopausal, depressed, running- and sleep-deprived middle aged female.
  • TTTT ✭✭✭
    Ftm42, given what you have written about crying all the time please refer yourself to the CMHT. They have spare capacity at the moment because they are working remotely and can change over appointments more quickly. It might still be a few weeks but the sooner you refer the sooner you can be in the queue. You don't need to see your GP to refer.

    I totally understand running being your anti depressant. Also, being menopausal, have you seen your GP for help? One of my GP friends highly recommends HRT (and she uses it herself!) We have a nurse who specialises in the menopause and can sort out prescriptions, again saves seeing the GP. 

    Hugs! 
  • ftm42ftm42 ✭✭✭
    Sadly, I can't take HRT, as I had breast cancer 16 years ago. I have tried pessaries though and they didn't make any difference at all.
  • ftm42ftm42 ✭✭✭
    I'm not even sure if I'm using 'depressed' as a clinical diagnosis - or if I'm just being a miserable old sow iyswim?! Maybe 'frustrated' is a better word than 'depressed' - never sure where you draw the line.
  • ftm42: my sympathies. If you're a runner and you can't run it's normal to feel frustrated/depressed about it (speaking from repeated experience - and believe me you really don't want the broken leg). Even more so if it's your usual coping mechanism! It's not the same, but have you tried guided meditation or relaxation?
    Regarding the knee, vague knee pain may be related to tight quads/ITB - if I get knee pain I use a massage stick on my outer quads and the leg with the sore knee is always tighter than the other, and a good massage with the stick really helps me.
  • MsEMsE ✭✭✭
    No advice but a massive virtual hug. It sounds frustrating and lonely being you during this lockdown. Keep venting if it helps. I recognise all the responders here as fellow injury experts   :)
  • ftm42, I'm so sorry to hear your injured again and frustrated. I empathises entirely. Running has always been my anti-depressant as well. But sadly I experienced a knee tendon/bursitis injury a month ago and I don't think I'll be running again for a few months. Have you tried cycling if it doesent aggravate your knee? I know its not the same as running but It can maintain your fitness and also build leg strength. Also, it could be that your trainers are causing you to get injured. Maybe they are causing you to heel strike. This creates unnatural forces through your joints. Perhaps try a thin soled trainer that allows forefoot running. Or If your feeling really adventurous, try complete barefoot running on grass! Studies show that your far less likely to get injured and you might even run faster. Anyway, good luck and stay safe.
  • ftm42ftm42 ✭✭✭
    edited May 18
    Trying to rest and not inflame my knee. Both hurt today and I've now picked up a twinge in my inner hip, despite doing stretching/strengthening exercises every day. I can feel twinges when I turn over in bed or pick something up off the floor. Any sudden movement at all seems to set something off. I'm taking supplements daily and doing all I can.

    It never seems to be anything major, just a low level ache that just won't go, even if I rest / cycle / use elliptical / walk. What is WRONG with me? I feel old and over the hill, when aerobically I'm as fit as you like.My body is just such a pain right now. This has been going on for years now - constant cycle of hurt / rest / return gradually [using 025K]; hurt / rest and repeat. How long do you have to wait until you just say forget it, when all I can see is other runners who are heavier than me / have really strange gaits / are much much older and i just wonder how they are running when I can't get back to running pain-free.

    Maybe I just need to strap up and take pain killers from now on?

    Sorry - bit ranty, but that's how I feel! Just looked at my stats for this year - avg weekly 18km. FFS (11 miles!)
  • Debra BourneDebra Bourne ✭✭✭
    ftm: sympathies again. {{{HUG}}} At this point I would suggest a programme of daily yoga (only needs to be 10-15 minute, and if you aim for every day then it turns into 4-5 per week, that's still helpful - or it has been for me) plus running-specific strength exercises and maybe proprioceptive (balancing) exercises, to help sort out any imbalances, tightnesses etc. You may find that this helps - you may also find that it helps pinpoint a specific problem (e.g. in your back) that can be looked at further, medically. Meanwhile, can you go for walks, preferably somewhere in green surroundings? Shoes are also something to consider. If you can find a nice flat area of mown grass, then it's worth trying a little barefoot run and seeing how that feels.
  • TTTT ✭✭✭
    Hi ftm42, this might sound like a daft idea but have you considered asking a physio to do a complete body review? If they find something then you can work on it, if they find nothing then consult a sports physiologist? I know it sounds daft but they can really help.
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